High Octane Rock Trash
Lansing, MI - The sun rarely shines here in the capital of Michigan; however, for the members of the rock outfit Retire, things look pretty damn good. Starting as a group of gays whose love and knowledge
of music is so great that they had to create their own, Retire has become one of the most accessible and diverse bands in Mid-Michigan (what that is saying I am not sure).
With the advent of technology I have the opportunity to sit down with the members of "The Best Band In The World" at the legendary Moriarty's Pub in Lansing to ask them some very important questions.
Here they are…
DIRT: Please introduce everyone and talk about his role in the band.
RETIRE: Shawn Erickson, Dan Kirk, Eric Sweeney, and Jordan Hudson. Our roles are equal. We all write the songs and we each play every instrument. We switch up depending on the song.
D: Do you prefer carnage or destruction?
R: Shawn prefers carnage. He's a blood and guts type of guy. Dan and Eric prefer destruction because it's a less personal type of violence. Jordan prefers carnage. It's bloody.
D: Retire has been headlining Mac's bar in Lansing for some time. What is the rock scene like in the Mid-Michigan area?
R: It was great during the late 80's/early 90's with many interesting punk bands. The mid to late 90's turned into a craptacular mess of bad metal and Dave Matthews cover bands. Nowadays Mac's is the
only good place to play if don't fall into one of the aforementioned styles. Robot tacos.
D: Retire's debut album "Work Was Hard So We Quit" has been out for over a year. What are your plans for 2001?
R: Well, friend, we plan to continue playing as many shows as possible plus continue writing and recording.
D: What is your opinion on the popularity of the metal/rap hybrid? How did it get so big and so fucking bad in the last couple of years?
R: It's interesting that, though there are many killer metal acts and fly rap groups, when combined in today's climate it melts into a messy puddle rather than stand tall like a proud snowman with a coal
smile and stately top hat. A snowman you love so much that you'd sacrifice your own warm clothes to protect him from the cold, cold, rich angry suburban wind.
D: Who do you think is putting out really inspiring music right now?
R: Well, lately Dan's car has been making an odd sound that we've been curiously, almost furiously, drawn toward.
D: Anyone car to talk about the best show they've ever seen?
R: We've been planning a trip to Broadway but last time Shawn tried to stomp the guys from Rent and Dan tried to rent the Guys from Stomp. Plus, Les Mis makes Eric cry.
D: Which is worse: Extra or ET?
R: Extra is better because of the "Sexclusive" segment. Sexcellent.
D: Rumors have been rising on your website that a particular band member has an infatuation with toast. Is this true?
R: On The Nina Bedford Show we saw a segment on toast fucking. That's where you fuck or get fucked with toast. That's something, isn't it?
D: For those who have not seen you play lately what are some of the covers that you have been performing?
R: In the recent past we've covered "California Stars" by Wilco and Billy Bragg, "Echos Myron" by Guided By Voices (a current staple of our set), plus songs by The Who, Johnny Cash, and Built To Spill.
D: When you cover a song is it better to play it just like the original or do you add a little Retire twist?
R: We like to do it both ways. For example, long ago when we covered "Grounded" by Pavement we played it as close to the album version as we could. When we covered "Where Is My Mind?" by The Pixies
we used only Hammond organ, acoustic 12 string and drums, giving it a Retirish twist.
D: Can you kick the asses of those hardcore punk kids?
R: Onstage, when we merge into our Tranzor Z-like form, we acquire the ability to overtake anyone, yet feel no particular ill will toward those hardcore punk kids.
D: Why do hippies suck?
R: Actual hippies were on the right track for their time and place. There should be no "modern hippie." They're just people who smell.
D: When can the listening audience expect a new album?
R: We're always writing, recording and performing new songs...
D: You gentlemen have done everything yourselves--recording, mixing and promotion. Explain the pros and cons of that process.
R: The pro: we do whatever we want whenever we want.
The con: We're limited to the small amount of money that we don't spend on drinking and drugs, which inevitably leads to video games and cards.
D: Will there be a tour this year?
R: We'll find out when we get there...
