Unreal Tournament

Another milestone in my distinguished career! This is the first time I've reviewed a game not available on either the Nintendo or Playstation consoles; hell, it won't even work on my own computer. It belongs to Justice, who has the most kick-ass computer, with power times God up the yin-yang. Many thanks and hugs to Justice and Gweeg for playing this game for me when I was too lazy to do it myself.

Overall: A first person shoot-em-up! Very violent, profane, and paranoia-inducing--love it, love it, love it! I normally avoid first-persons like the plague, but I went to Justice's house after she begged me that I HAD to see this game, she raved about it, and I watched her play, and it's FUN! There's less tension in it than Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, because in that game you were mostly just waiting for creatures to come out and grab you, whereas in this one you know they're right there, you can hear (and usually see) the enemy most of the time, it pretty much depends on aim and reflexes.

Graphics: Lovely! I always detest any shades of "pointyness" in a game, amd one thing that always makes me cringe is obvious design flaws, like half the character disappearing into a tree or building (shudder). This, being a computer game, has none of the above. Smooth, nearly flawless graphics, with great attention to detail. The heads of the characters tend to be a little "blocky", and the faces are pretty vague, but it's far superior in picture quality to most video games I've seen. Not that I've seen a lot...

Sound System: Again, just fabulous. Terrified shrieks, blasts of gunfire, and dying moans spring to vivid life. I especially liked the flip sayings of the enemy; "I'm sorry, did I just blow your head apart?" And when you create a character (more on that later), you can choose the kind of voice you want. It's the little things I love...

Plot: The year is 2341. The U.S. government has legalized fighting tournaments, and the games rake in multibillions. You (a fairly well-known fighter) are placed in tournaments wherein the object is to kill them before they kill you, and rack up as high a body count (called "frag"...don't ask) as possible. Yeah, pretty typical plot, but still very very good. Also for some reason you don't die; you are "respawned", and you win based on how many enemies you killed versus how often you "die". You can literally die over and over again, and bounce back for more, kinda like a punching bag, only a LOT gorier.

Abilities: Blasting the hell outta anything in your path is basically the only skill you get; the only thing you can improve on is aim and timing. You get a HUGE arsenal of weaponry, ranging from a simple sniper rifle to giant shoulder-held rocket-powered missle launchers, some of which completely obliterate the enemy. And if you like, you can go up to the body lying slumped on the pavement and pump a few more rounds into it, exploding the corpse. Ooh, I think someone just got their first taste of bloodlust! :)

Difficulty: The difficulty can be adjusted to the player's liking. You can face as few as three enemies, and have to kill them only ten times, or as many as 20 and have it take forever. I personally viewed the game as played with 10 enemies and 30 kills before you win, meaning the winner kills 30 people. And since there are others against you, you could be one of those 30. So watch your back.

Final Review: One thing I liked about it was you could create your own character. There was a list of facial features and traits to choose from (both male and female), so you could mix-n-match and come up with the person that fits YOU best. I was shown both male and female players, and personally I think the chicks kick ass (Xena fan alert!). I didn't like how hardly any of them had outfits that covered the midriff, and they all had bosoms out til Tuesday of course (as per video game Rules and Regulations), but they hauled big guns right along with the boys. Also there were little games you could play while not in Tournament, like Capture The Flag. Remember? Like in elementary school? Only in this version, you don't just tag them; you shoot them on sight. There's a certain beauty in walking up to a mortally wounded enemy and emptying several rounds of ammunition into them...cathartic, really. Uh...am I on? Oh yes...anywho, my Final Review, is that if you're computer's got the cojones for it, go pick it up. It requires some serious RAM, but I think it's worth it. It's a definate Stab.