Zelda 64

Home sweet home
Shh! Zelda cheats

Overall: Hoo boy. Let me get some gel to put my hair to where it was before it blew back. This is an awesome, kickass game. It opens with a shot of Link riding a horse (which you can do in the game!) under the light of a full moon. And the music that accompanies it...But I'll address that in a later section.

Graphics: Dare I say it? Better than Mario! Before this, I thought Mario was the be-all-and-end-all. The King. Nothing could top him. And along came...ah, Zelda. The glow and buzz of the wee fairies 'round every character (even the baddies). The lush detail of the forests and pools. The misty, mystical setting of Hyrule, with its clinging vines and dancing fire. And, I have to admit, the adult Link (I'll explain later) is kinda sexy, despite those pointed ears.

Sound System: Gods, I love this music. Remember the old Zelda? From the original Nintendo? Well this makes it comparable to a child's mini harmonica vs. a full orchestra playing "Rites of Spring". I could practically dance to it. And when Link obtains an Ocarina (you get two kinds, depending on your position in the game), he can learn songs he picks up on his journey. Fun stuff! When he gets bored, he yawns and stretches. When he runs out of lives, he wheezes. By Jove, it sounds like he's wheezing right beside you.

Plot: I'll forgive the same-old, same-old plot for some very interesting new twists. Link is the only being (I must say being, because whatever he is, he sure ain't human) in Kokiri Forest without a fairy. He's kinda picked on because of this (I can so relate!). So he gets a guardian fairy, named Navi, when he's about, what, ten (I can't tell the character's age) and he's chosen by the Great Deku Tree to defend Hyrule from Ganondorf, an Evil Ruler of some sort. And so let the game begin!

Abilities: What can't this little elf do?! See the New, Improved Link! He runs! He jumps! He climbs! He swims! He fights with many, many various weapons! He converses with elves, fairies, evildoers, even rocks and trees! He cuts grass! He picks up rocks and vases to find hidden rupees (a kind of currency)! He shops (oh, the perfect man!)! He crawls! He plays the Ocarina! He rides his trusty horse! And ultimately, he saves Hyrule and its Princess Zelda from Ganondorf (batteries not included).

Final Review: Drop everything right now (ow, my foot!) and rush right out and BUY THIS GAME *NOW*!! I know I sound like I'm raving, but it's a fabulous game, and after all, that's what we Malkies *do*, my dear. :)

NEW!!! Sally has GOTTEN TO GANNONDORF!!! She's RIGHT in his room, facing him. I won't give away how this came about, but it's REALLY cool. You must use Light Arrows to defeat him. And that's all I'm gonna say (heh heh heh).

Whoops. I screwed up. Y'see, turns out the first Ganon is just that--after you defeat him, you have to run a race after the Princess--sort of chase her. And after you've done that (which by the way takes forever) she says "whew, it's all over...what's that?!" And then, up from the rubble of the broken castle you have just escaped, comes this monstrous Gannondorf. He's the size of the giant stone pillars surrounding him (which, by the way, you can break to get rupees and hearts). You gotta slash at his tail to defeat him.At least, I presume you do, because Sally hasn't beaten him yet!

NEW! SALLY HAS BEATEN GANNONDORF! YAAYYYY!!! To beat him, it's very simple. You use the Biggoron's sword as much as possible, switching to the Master sword for the final blow. No matter how you slice it, it always ends with the Master sword. You run around him and strike at the tail. When he becomes too fast, roll between the legs. After you defeat him, all the characters come out for a big party, and then Princess Zelda returns you to your "child" state. Sally has gotten EVERY SINGLE LAST ITEM IN THE GAME. Every bottle, every heart piece, every SPIDER. Yeah. Wow. Meanwhile, I'm still stuck in Jabu-Jabu. Well, here's hoping!

NEW! Well, I finally got past stupid furkin' Jabu-Jabu. In fact, I'm doing quite well for myself, farthest I've ever been. As I recall, I currently (as of 12/8/99) have defeated the temples up to the Shadow Temple, got 87 spiders, 18 hearts, all accessories except the Fire and Ice Arrows, Mirror Shield, and Big Bow from the Gerudo's Training Ground, all the songs, Epona, the Biggoran's Sword, completed both trading games (duh, I got the sword), and killed the Giant Man-Eating Ocean Trout in the Special Bonus world you won't find mentioned in any other cheat guide because I made it up. All in all, I think I'm doing pretty good.

Email: freya2000@aol.com