In Memory of Mark Baker
7-31-80 to 01-05-98
Markie was born out of wedlock,
which didn't bother me at all. I didn't believe a couple
should be married because of a child. I believe it could
bring about a very unhappy marriage, which would bring
tension into the household. The tension in return could
bring about a very unhappy childhood for the children.
We were finally married in June of 1981. We went away to
Union Springs, Alabama and surprised the family when we came home.
He was a very happy baby. My first born, so he recieved alot
attention. First grandchild on my side of the family also.
Needless to say he was loved and spoiled rotten this first
year. Twenty two months exactly after my Markie was
born, May 31, 1982, Markies brother was born. Shawn Patrick
Baker.Markies first real playmate. He loved him more then
anybody will ever really know. He was a little jealous at
first but, adjusted well after realizing that the love we
had could be shared between the both of them. Markie turned
into a little clown. Always trying to make others laugh,
especially his baby brother. About five months after
Shawn was born I found, I was pregnant again. This is when
our problems started. A little into my pregnancy Markie's
dad came and informed me that he was having an affair. At
this time he packed his stuff and left on my request. I
also told him that if things changed I would be here.
Almost 3 years after Markie was born his baby sister came
into this world. Tricia Sarah Baker, a beautiful baby girl.
While in the hospital Markie's dad came to the hospital
and requested another chance with me and his family. He
was welcomed with open arms, but it didn't last long. I
requested that he stop drinking also, which led to sneaking
around with a bottle in his pocket. He soon started having
an affair again. Last straw. No more chances. This was hard
on the kids, but I knew deep down that it would of been
worse otherwise. I did my best with my children, being
a single mom at that time. The break up hurt Markie the
most, although I didn't realize it at that time. I guess
even then he was good at hiding hurt feelings.
Markie's
father came to visit, and take the kids for visitation
on a regular basis for the first year. The visits were
less and less as time went on, until they stopped all
together. The kids were told one year that they had a bunch
of Christmas gifts at their Aunts house waiting for them.
They finally stopped asking me about them a few years ago.
In June of 1986, one month before Markie turned 5 yrs.
old I met my current husband (Bob). The kids were away
at their Aunts at the time, so that made it good, at the time.
But, when they did meet, they all fell in love with him.
Along with the marriage came a
very large family. Bob had 4 children from his first marriage,
(Bobby age 13, Brian age 11, Becky age 7, and Brandon age 2).
As I ve already explained, I had 3 children from my first
marriage,(Markie age 6, Shawn age 4, and Tricia age 3)
We all got along beautifully. Nine months after our
marriage, Scott Adam Davison was born. He was such a doll!
I had a hard delivery with this one and I swore, NO MORE!
This little guy recieved alot of attention from his 5
brothers and 2 sisters. Markie always called him "Buddy", Always!
We all got along beautifully, in fact Bob's ex wife and
I became best friends. Markie had very low self esteem.
I attribute this to his first grade teacher, who did not
have any patience for children, and in no way should of been
a first grade teacher. There was no praise in her class, only
criticism. From then on, as hard as we tried, he felt very
little of himself. He then hated school, and didn't do as well,
as he was able. After the first marking period of fifth
grade, his teacher brought to my attention her concern that
Markie could be ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder). With this
information, I took him and had him tested. They ran a series
of tests on him, it took weeks. Finally, finding out that
the tests were positive, he was strictly monitored on
The first month on the medication he recieved
awards for being "Student of the Month". He was so, so
happy. He had finally made an achievement(in his eyes).
I was so happy for him.(Markie at the right with his Student
of the Month pin on. Doesn't he look proud?) Maybe a little
embarassed. Shortly after
5th grade we moved to a different county. We could not
take Mark to the same doctor, as he didn't service that
county. At the time we thought there would be no problem,
there's got to be another doctor with the same knowledge
of ADD. Boy, were we wrong! All these doctors did was guess,
and he started going down hill again. Mark loved baseball,
and basketball, and was very good at these sports. He was
getting taller for basketball, and was a great pitcher
for baseball. He put everything he had into these sports.
It wasn't long, and he soon lost interest. :( During the later
He had a teacher that would look directly
at him in front of the class and announce, with a pointed
finger that he saw Markie as his trouble maker. We spent
many afternoons at that school. Either we were there because
there were problems with him, or we were there defending him,
when we thought things were unjust. The teachers finally
let up on him after a couple of confrontations. High
He had asked briefly about his father on, and off throughout
his life. The last time he had seen or heard from him was in
1988. The pieces were fitting together. The resentment he
felt toward Bob, was because he didn't want a replacement.
I started looking for his father, hoping it would make a
difference, No luck! I finally decided that my last resort
was U-Search. Mark seemed to want this very badly, and it
was something I had to do for him. I recieved phone numbers,
and addresses. I called and wrote, and finally got in contact
with Markies, Uncle Wayne, who informed me that he had not seen,
nor heard from his father in over 3 yrs. Now, the door
had been opened. After Mark had quit school he had asked
if he could go visit his Uncle Harry for a couple of weeks,
down in Detroit. He never came home to live again. I begged,
pleaded, called the courts and it seemed the only thing
I could do was make sure he was with family, and safe. He started
He lived with his 2 brothers, back and forth,
he stayed with his Grandparents, and an Uncle in Traverse City.
Mark made his own rules, this is why he jumped around so much.
He had a steady girlfriend in the detroit area. She got
pregnant with his baby. He had just turned 17, but wanted to
take full responsibility for this child. I could see the
excitement in his eyes. As he was telling me how he would never
be like his father. How he was ready to take on 2 jobs
to give "his" child a decent life. The phone rang! It was Jenny,
(his girlfriend), she was at a clinic at the time aborting Their
baby. I don't think I've ever seen him that hurt. :( We all
know he was too young to have a baby, but he just looked
so proud, and serious). Marks father finally got wind of our
search, and called. What a shocker! I let him talk to Tricia, and
Shawn, and gave him the number to reach Mark at. He called
often for about 2 weeks. The kids were getting excited
and looking forward to these calls. Then they stopped.
Markie planned his schedule around these calls, but his dad
was always drunk, and Mark was normally disappointed when his
phone call ended. He never really expected the phone calls
anymore. He didn't get them either. A rough lesson to be
learned, but the resentment started fading with Bob, and
the respect grew. He started doing very, very good when
he moved to his Uncles in Traverse City. He worked with his
Uncles, and soon had another job. "My baby was growing up".
He enrolled in school for the next semester, and signed up for
drivers training. I was getting phone calls from him(happy
phone calls) He was so proud of himself, and wanted to share
his good doings with me. It warmed my heart so much, to hear
(mark at the right on Thanksgiving 1997)
Thanksgiving 1997, Mark came to visit for
the week. For some reason everytime he came, the phone would
start ringing off the hook. Girls, girls, girls!!!! I started
thinking Mark carried a scent about him, and they could smell
him when he came into town. He was very popular with the
girls when he was here, and it didn't change when he came to
visit. He got together with one of his friends, and his
cousin, and got into some trouble while he was here. We think
it might of been the last straw for him. They were told to
stay out of trouble, and they could go home for now.
Dec 3rd, 1997, at 5:30 am Bob got up to go to work and
found Mark and his cousin sitting in the back of 2 police cars
in front of the house. They were both drunk! Mark was making 911
calls with suicide threats, on a cell phone outside. He had the
gun, and told 911 that he was going to the park, and wanted
them to come and clean up the mess. After they took the
boys to jail, Bob started searching the house for the alcohol.
What he found was a suicide note written by Mark and his
cousin. I couldn't believe how hard it was to get Mental Health
to go down and evaluate The boys, in fact we found out later that
the arresting officer even requested an evaluation. We had to
take the suicide note down to prove that they were a threat to
themselves. They finally did evaluate them(if you want to call it that).
We were finally told that they were kidding and drunk.
They were no threat to themselves. Mark begged me to
get him out that day, but I didn't think it was a good idea.
I figured he needed a taste of jail, and needed dry out time
(tough love is so hard). That was so, so hard. Seeing the tears
in his eyes as he was begging. THAT HURT!!!
I let him sit in there 2-1/2 days until court, then placed bond.
It was Dec 5th, 1997. He told me that he would never go
back. I thought he had learned his lesson. The next day
he left for Traverse City again. Things went down hill from there.
Mark lost all will power again, and was told to pack his stuff, and
leave one morning when he wouldn't get up for work. He stayed
until Christmas. They all came for Christmas dinner, and I guess
Mark thought he was leaving with his Uncle after Christmas. When his
Uncle started walking out the door without Mark is when he realized,
he was to stay here with us.(another heartbreak) His Uncle
promised from day one that this would never happen. His
words were "He would never give up on Mark", this is probably
why Markie did so well to begin with. The next few days were
brief. He spent as much time as he could with who was here.
Shawn and Tricia were in Florida with their Grandparents, so
they didn't get this special time. He watched a whole Hockey game with
Bob. Mark didn't care for Hockey. He played basketball with Scott,
and challenged me to a game of darts. The last couple of days, Mark
tried to make special. He really did! He tried to give us memories to
cherish. And we will! Jan. 5th, 1998, just like any
other day, I left for work, the kids left for school. Back into
our routine we had before Christmas break. Same old thing. We came
home for lunch, as we always did. Mark was on the computer playing
some new games we had gotten for Christmas. Right before leaving
to go back to work, Mark had called to me. He stared, then asked,
"huh, how do you do this?" I told him from across the
room, that he knew how, and that I had to hurry back. He
turned back to the computer as I said "bye". As I walked out
the door he said "I LOVE YOU", he never had a problem with
telling me this, so I told him that I loved him too, with
the remark "I love it when he says it first". Those were the last
words my son, Mark had ever said to me. It was approx. 4:15
that afternoon, that I recieved that horrible phone call. I was
told by Bobby to come home NOW! I wouldn't hang up without an
explanation. He finally said "MARK SHOT HIMSELF". I grabbed Bob,
and was gone. It took us about 2 min to get home. The street was
covered with police cars, and an ambulance. Mark was gone! He had
shot himself in the head with a hunting rifle,under our blanket,
in our bed. GONE, GONE FOREVER! Nobody had actually seen the worst of him
except the officers. One officer is a friend of the family, and
even took it hard, but he did stay and took care of alot of the
mess for our sakes. He made the comment that Mark did it with respect
for us. I couldn't figure that one out right away, but he meant,
that Mark purposely reduced the major mess with the blankets.
The next few days were a blur! Alot of caring people came to be with
us. My family came right away. I told my mother, father, Shawn, and Tricia
they did not need to cut their vacation in Florida short.
They came as soon as they returned, and stayed with me for awhile.
The services were Jan 8th, 1998, with a closed casket, it is all such
a blur from then on, all I'll say is: I love and miss
you Mark, and many others do. If I could have anything, just anything
in this whole world, I'd want you back with me.
This is where my son Mark sleeps forever. The angel on
the stone represents a peacefully sleeping angel.(My Mark)
Please vist the attached pages below
Isn't he so CUTE!!! Born on July 31st. 1980, at 5:35pm.
He weighed 8lbs, 2 ounces, and was 20" long. Born at
William Beaumont hospital in Royal Oak, Michigan.
Mark Harry Baker, born to Elaine Carol Soper(Baker,Davison),
and Mark Rene Baker. He was named after his father,
and grandfather(my dad).
(The picture to the right is showing Markie, Shawn and Tricia,
in 1983)
We were married on Nov. 29, 1986. Markie was our ring bearer
at our wedding, he was fine with it until it actually
came down to walking down the aisle. He would not carry the
pillow, and he walked down the aisle with a frown. Afterwards,
Markie was fine, as you can see in the picture to the left.
(All Smiles)Ah relief!
medication.
years in junior high his anger really started to come out.
Alot of resentment toward Bob, but we couldn't understand
why. Counseling brought out nothing. We were told that Mark
was a waste of their time, because he wouldn't talk. Another
blow to his self esteem! Many different counselors with
the same results. He couldn't be helped, until he wanted
to be helped.(Marks 8th grade prom. He is all the way to the left)
school started out fine, but half way through his freshmen
year it started all over. He couldn't stand taking his
medicine. he called them stupid pills! He would say he
was taking them when he really wasn't. Needless to say,
he quit school one month into his sophmore year.(The last school picture taken)
drinking heavily.(Mark winter of 1996)
him so happy.
** "I'm Mark" **
** "We Love, and miss you Mark" **
