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Did you know that Militious-Redneck Roulette has sold more CD's in Michigan than any other band of the same name?


April 19,1996 is a day which will forever be remembered in Michigan's long and storied history. For it was on this day that Thomas Cletus Jefferson, Jeremiah Revere and the Colonel all met at a small militia rally in Lansing, Michigan. From that day forward, these three men have been working hard crafting a sound unlike any militia band before them. Now, for the first time anywhere, we offer you some insight into these men known collectively as Militious-Redneck Roulette.

This is Cletus!

Birthdate: 12/64 (not sure of the day)

Measurements: Chest 46, waist 34, and a real long inseam

Hobbies: Small engine repair, commenting on new regulations

Turn-ons: Vetoes, Wonder Woman

Turn-offs: New regulations, taxation and oppression


"Cletus"

Cletus is the band's lead guitarist (by default) and is believed to initiate most of the music-writing process (just because he can play the most chords). While the other members have input on whatever instrument they happen to be playing that day, Cletus usually sticks to the guitar (because he got it sticky in the first place). Cletus also doubles as the engineer on the basic tracks and plans to extend (heh - you said extend!) this role into re-mastering soon, given their censorship experience on the last CD. Cletus plays American-made Stratocaster guitars. He also plays through American-made amplifiers including a vintage 1954 Gibson (mine), a Supro (mine also) and an Ampeg Reverb Rocket. Cletus sings back-up and (the real whiny) lead vocals, and has been known to whip out a mean ham-bone solo on occasion (he's always going solo). To read some excerpts from Cletus' own personal diary click here, and to get more exciting information on the pride of Walkerville, click here,

(NOTE: Parenthetical comments were added by Jeremiah)

Everyone CALM DOWN so you can hear my MESSAGE!Birthdate: April, 1961

Measurements: 6' 1"

Hobbies: Hunting pasture cows, mudbogging

Turn-ons: Armalites, Betty Page, or any woman in a black pointy bra

Turn-offs: Permits, licenses, taxes

"Jeremiah"

Not enough can be said about Jeremiah's contributions to Militious-Redneck Roulette. In fact, it's almost impossible to know where to begin! From his dark and colorful (if strangely vague) past, to his competent (when overdubbed) musicianship to his inspiring (when re-written) lyrical contributions, Jeremiah may be the very heart and soul of the band (bullshit)! If the truth were known, it was Jeremiah who set the band on its course (more bullshit). Rather than get into specifics about his contributions (since no one can remember any), suffice it to say that Jeremiah inspires the other band members more through his actions than his words (because he mumbles so much no one can understand him). A versatile performer (he often dances when he can't remember how to play the songs), Jeremiah is the only musician in rock music today to play the amplified jaw harp, harmonica and slide guitar! He also sings (yodels) and lays down solid (two-note) bass lines on the band's most powerful tracks. To learn more about Bitely's bad boy, click here.

(NOTE: Parenthetical comments were added by Cletus)

Hi, I'm the Colonel!

"The Colonel"

Birthdate: I can't remember that far back

Measurements: I'm thick

Hobbies: Web Mastering this site!

Turn-ons: Women in shiny boots and berets

Turn-offs: AWOL soldiers, food inspectors

The Colonel (real name unknown, except possibly to him) brings musical versatility and humor to the band. An extensive background in music (presumably including some military marching-band training), the Colonel can seemingly play any instrument. His current assignment is the drums, although he can be heard thumping the bass, tinkling a tambourine or blowing into his big shiny trombone every now and again. The Colonel plays Pearl Export drums, a Fender P Bass and lots of other instruments that most folks have never seen or even heard of (what's a multi guiro?). He also sings lead on the more demanding tracks (really just the ones WE won't sing), such as the love song "Three Days in the Pokey". As mentioned earlier, the Colonel is the band's very own jester, often easing the tensions between Jeremiah and Cletus (with an uproarious fart or a homosexual act). Without his humorous interruptions, Cletus would have probably kicked Jeremiah out of the band by now, replacing him with some kind of "middy" contraption. For even more on the Colonel of Remus, click here.

(NOTE: A few parenthetical comments by Cletus and/or Jeremiah)