You are my soul, you are my heart, you are my bliss, you are my pain. You are the world in which I live you are the grave in which I have buried my sorrows forever! You are tranquility, you are peace, you are destined to me by heaven. Your love for me justifies my life, your gaze transfigures me to myself, by loving me, you raise me above myself, my good spirit, my better self!

As Carrie Brady Reed looked out of apartment window, she sighed. It was snowing heavily, and it was the kind of snow that made her want to run outside and make a snow angel. This thought made her laugh, and she thought back to everything that had happened to her in the last year.      Carrie and Mike Horton had finally admitted their feelings for each other. First, Mike told her that he loved her on New Year’s Eve, and that was all Carrie could think about when she was celebrating with her husband, Austin later in the evening. Carrie and Austin had had a rough year with family issues. First and foremost, Austin turned to another woman, Carrie’s sister Sami who was convicted of murdering her fiancée, Franco. Austin had helped Sami try to find who actually murdered Franco, and they hid out from the authorities for three months. In that time, Sami and Austin grew closer and closer, while Carrie began to believe her marriage was over. She relied heavily on Mike during that time, but tried her best to keep what was left of her marriage. She left Salem and went to Green Mountain Lodge for a few days to figure out what she wanted, but also hoped that Austin would show up. He didn’t show up, but Mike did. In that time, Carrie realized that Mike had always been the one there for her. He was the man that Carrie trusted and relied on the most in her time of need. Carrie told Mike that she loved him right then and there.      A few weeks after Carrie and Mike came back to Salem, Austin and Sami were caught by the police and were immediately sent to jail. Sami had been sentenced to the death penalty and was going to die by lethal injection. A few hours before she was to be put to death, Kate Roberts confessed to framing Sami. Lucas, her son, also confessed of the actual shooting of Franco. Sami was free to return to her family, and Austin was released from jail. Kate and Lucas were sent to jail, but their sentencing would come at a later date.      Carrie had just heard the news from her father, Roman on that snowy night. She had been working on paper work for the hospital when she got the call. Roman was emotional and ecstatic that Sami was free. Carrie knew that she should be with her family at that time, but she couldn’t bring herself to it. She was a having a little anxiety about what she would do when Austin did come home, and she was quite nervous about it. She was deep in thought when the phone rang. Needless to say, Carrie jumped about two feet in the air.      “Hello?” she asked nervously.      “Hello, you have reached the Clown University located at University Hospital. This is Binky, and I’m hoping that this call cheers you up!” Carrie laughed when she heard Mike’s voice on the other end.      “Hi Mike,” she said in a total deadpan.      “Nope, it’s Binky. Mike has stepped out of his office for a while.” Carrie laughed again.     “You can always make me laugh,” she said softly.      “I’m glad I can,” Mike replied, with a smile on his face. He was working late tonight, and he had heard that Austin and Sami had been let out of jail. He also knew that Austin would be coming home to Carrie that night. He had just been thinking about her, wishing that he was there for her.      “How did you know that I was feeling weird right now?” Carrie asked.     “I just figured it out with my mighty brain power,” Mike teased. “Actually, I heard the news.”      “Yup,” Carrie said. “I don’t know how to handle this, Mike.”      “Just follow your heart,” Mike said. It hurt to say this to her, especially after all that had happened between all of them. He knew that she was hurting.      “My heart is somewhere out in ‘confused’ land,” Carrie said. She knew that she was hurting Mike by saying this. She wanted so desperately to be with him, but she still had her marriage to think about. Carrie pictured Mike sitting at his desk at the hospital, probably playing absentmindedly with a pencil and looking around the office.      “Well, just go make a snow angel outside in the snow to get your mind off it for now,” Mike said. Carrie smiled.      “I was just thinking about making a snow angel!” she said. “You read my mind.”      “There’s my mighty brain power again,” Mike teased. It felt good to make Carrie laugh, and it just felt good to joke around. It seemed that there was not a lot of joking in his life at that moment.     “Allright Mike. Thank you so much for calling,” Carrie said softly. “Have a good night.”      “I will. And I’ll be thinking and praying for you,” Mike said. “Good night.”      “Bye,” Carrie said. She hung up the phone, and looked out the window.      On the other end, Mike hung up the phone softly and said, “Good-bye Carrie. I love you.”      Mike had finished his work a little early that night, and he decided to go outside for a little while on the balcony. It was snowing fairly heavily now, and he could barely see across the street. His week had been absolute agony, working closely with Carrie on a budget plan and then the resignation of Ali McIntyre. She had written a letter of resignation to the hospital, but had left a small note to Mike. Dear Mike,      I’m sorry for any anxiety I caused you the past couple of months. I have finally decided to move on with my life. I was offered the head nurse position in Tallahassee General in Florida, and I’ve decided to take it. I needed to get further away from my over-bearing mother, and from the memories here. I wish you all the luck in the world, and please keep in touch. Ali McIntyre      Mike was shocked that Ali had resigned, but he was a bit relieved from the stress she had caused him. She was to the point of making Mike worried about what she was doing to herself and other people. She finally gave up on the notion of her and Mike together, and left quickly. He also knew that he could never love anyone as much as he loved Carrie.      Mike knew that Carrie was going through agony, and he hated to see her that way. Their future was so uncertain, and Mike was scared about how this whole ordeal would turn out. He wished that he could see her right now, but he knew that Austin had probably already come home to their apartment by now. The door out to the balcony opened, and a nurse came out.      “Dr. Horton, there is a phone call for Carrie Reed, so I thought I would try and find you. It sounds like her husband on the other line.”     “Thank you, Renee. I’ll take it in my office.”      “Allright, he’s on line 4.” Mike nodded, and walked quickly to his office.      “Hello?” he said, picking up line 4.      “Mike?” a voice on the other end said.      “Yes?” Mike didn’t know if it was Austin or not.      “It’s John Black. Is Carrie there?”      “Hey John. No, no, she’s not here. She left about three hours ago. Why?”      “Well, we called her apartment and no one was there. We’re all celebrating at Tuscany right now. Marlena, Sami, Austin, and a bunch of other people are here. We just wondered where she was, so I thought I’d call at the hospital.”      “Hmmm, I wonder where she could be,” Mike said.      “Well, if you do find her, please let her know we’re here, okay?” John asked.      “Allright, I’ll do that.” Mike hung up the phone after their good-byes and leaned back in his chair. Where could Carrie be?      “Thank you Mickey,” Carrie said into her cell phone. “I’ll come meet with you tomorrow.”      “Sounds good, Carrie. I’ll be praying for you.” Carrie smiled.     “Thank you for your support,” she said. She hung up her phone, and tried to concentrate on the road. She had to get out of her apartment, since everything was driving her crazy. She had constant memories of her and Austin, but all she could think about was Mike. She had not answered the phone all night, but listened to the messages people were leaving. John had called her and left a message saying that everyone was at Tuscany celebrating Sami’s release. She felt slighted by Austin again. He chose to stay with Sami instead of coming straight home to her. That was the final nail in the coffin.      Carrie decided to call Mickey’s cell phone. He was at Tuscany celebrating, but didn’t tell anyone there that she was on the phone with him. She asked very quietly and very calmly for help with divorce proceedings. There was a long silence after she had asked him that question, but he quickly replied that he would help her. He told her that he would drive over to his office to write up the papers quickly. Carrie was driving over to meet him and pick up the papers. It was snowing heavily, and she once again thought of Mike’s comment about making snow angels. She almost didn’t stop at the next stoplight, and she skidded around a little. She took a deep breath, and told herself to slow down - she was almost racing to Mickey’s office. She smiled at the thought. It was one step closer to being with the man that she loved and was destined to be with. To Part II