Q: Well, first thing's first, What's your name's, and what is it that you contribute to The Kung Fu Mokeys?

James: My name is James and I play some guitar, sing some vocals, but mostly keep the other lads out of trouble and out of the cookie jar.

Chris: My name is Chris, but you can call me Pontiac. I play bass and add backing vocals and screams here and there.

Mike: To my face, they address me as "Mike". When I'm not in the room I'm"that guy". I keep time for the combo. If I could sing, I would.

Q: So what's the story behind the Kung Fu Monkeys, How did you get together,and how did you come up with the name?

James: Hmmm, briefly, the band started in Los Angeles in the winter of 1994, as a way to pass the time when school was out and the waves were low. The original line-up was me (James) on guitar and vocals, George O'Conner on bass and Tome Jo Trujillo on drums. In the beginning we were all equally bad at our respective instruments, so making those distinctions is really and exercise in futility, but to keep to the subject at hand, we had our first rehersal on a Friday afternoon, our second on Saturday afternoon, and played our first gig (at a punk rock warehouse show in Highland Park) that night. We had been together a total of 30 some odd hours, knew about 4 songs--five if you count the really sloppy version of the Munsters theme song, but boy could we raise a racket. The audience was rather polite for how sloppy and poppy we were, and didn't seem all that angry when the cops broke up the gig as we tore into our fifth song. I don't remember anyone applauding until that moment... but i digress. The group plodded along for about 5 months and then George left and we all went our separate ways for the summer. Come the next autumn, my good chum and part-time KFM drum machine operator Bret Hagen joined the ranks on Bass and for a while a friend of mine's friend's little cousin, Ben, played lead guitar. He was really cool--way better at guitar than me, but he got in trouble for cutting classes or smoking cigarrettes or something so he had to leave the band. That summer ('95) Tome Jo fell in love and moved to northern California. When Tome took off, my friend Dylan lent us the drummer of his Irish folk-pirate-eco-terrorist band Black Berry Beer. That bloke's name was Kurt, and he had a penchant for mesh atheletic shirts. He did a couple of fun gigs with us, until we found Sidmizer, a friend of Tome Jo's, and drummer for the pop-ska-punk outfit Micellaneous. He was a nutty nutty guy that Sid. He really dug cartoons and sugared cereal, like no other human I have ever met--I'm sure his blood sugar levels are always at critical levels, keeping him swooning between consciousness and a diabetic coma. During the Sidmizer era, the band improved in strides, but his night schoolin' kind of kept us from ever playing gigs. To help us out with gigs, in January of '96 Marcus Savino, from the noise band Roanoke, joined the group as an adjunct drummer. The idea was that Sid and Marcus would share the responsibilities, though in reality I think the whole situation caused a little drummer's rivalry. Marcus rocked though--he pounded drums like no other 17 year old on Earth, and had a really good sense of humor. As a side note, his father played keyboards for a whole slew of classic rock bands like SteppenWolfe and toured with Black Sabbath when they were truly evil. Tome Jo's father was also a drummer--he played in Mandrill and did a bunch of jazz gigs. So anyway, in May of '96 I moved to NY, whilst the rest of the band remained in California. From May of '96 to April of '97 the band was on hiatus, but during this time our debut 7" on Suzy Wong Records came out. That's when I wrangled members of Egghead. (John, Reno, and "that guy"--Mike) into recording Shindig with me. From May of '97 to November of '97 the band took another hiatus. Then Kris Fernald and Chris Mazer joined. This line-up never recorded or played live, as Kris had had his fill by Janauary. However the same weekend that Kris resigned, Egghead. broke up, and I was able to snag "that guy" (Mike) back into the fold. And that's pretty much an hour for hour account of the past four years... As for the name, that was a failed exercise in democracy. The original line-up drew up a list of about 200 different names, and the only one that we could agree on was "Dr. Pasghetti and His Amazing Kung Fu Monkeys", which was eventually abridged to just "The Kung Fu Monkeys." That was a mouthful, huh--you pay by the word though, right?

Mike: Ever seen one of those timelines in which they condense human history into one day and we see that mankind did not enter the picture until the last minute of the last hour of that day? That's kinda how I feel being KFM drummer #6 & #8 (or is it #5 & #7?). I really enjoy being part of the timeline but it keeps you humble.

Chris: ZZzzzzzzzzzz........Hehe.

Q: Why did the big move from nice sunny California, to mean cold New York take place?

Mike: Must...fight...urge...to...indulge in...bad stand-up ...comic...routine regarding differences between east and west coasts... can one of you guys help me out?

James: Sure Mike... The big move from sunny, wonderful California, to cold, mean NY was precipitated by several things: primarily the lyrics to Neil Diamonds' "I Am Said I" (Diamondologists may have to check me on this title), but also that playing surf-inspired bubble gum pop in California is a little like preaching to the converted. Life is sunny and pleasant out there. There's no challenge in that. NY on the other hand, was--and still is--in need of a little cheering up.... Economists classify this as targeted marketing in a supply and demand situation, but since there's nothing economical about the Kung Fu Monkeys, I won't go into that... The second factor for the big move has to do with my frustration with the Eastern Standard and Pacific time zone difference--I couldn't bear the three-hour handicap to the East Coast incurred while watching television. In NY they get the Mousecateers, Small Wonder, and Munsters a full 3 hours before the citizens of California. Don't we live in a democracy? It just doesn't make sense to me... especially because most television programs are filmed in California --with the exception of precious few, such as The Uncle Floyd Show and DeGrassi Junior High, which was filmed in Canada of course.

Chris: No comment.

Q: Your music style is very unique in that the average "punk" band of today just isn't as poppy. How did the Kung Fu Monkey's sound come about? Have you guys always been into bubblegum pop?

James: I suppose the sound came about from years of listening to great pop music. One of my earliest memories is waking up at 6 am on Saturday mornings to watch the Monkees with my siblings. The Monkees pretty much defined for me what a musical outfit should be like. Mix in years of listening to great records by such bubblegum and beat bands as The Beach Boys, Herman's Hermits, Dave Clark Five, Leslie Gore, the Ronnettes, Ohio Express, 1910 Fruitgum Co. as well as super cool punk bands like the Ramones, MTX, Sweet Baby, Undertones, Buzzcocks, Dickies, Modern Lovers to name but a few, and it's pretty much mathematically impossible that the songs I write could come out any other way.

Mike: For some reason James is convinced that the KFM sound goes back to him. Something about being the guy who started the band, and being the only original member left, and writing all of the songs, and singing all of the songs. For my money the band's sound is all about the tone of my snare drum. I have yet to convince anyone else of the validity of this theory. In the meantime, I'm happy to share the credit with James and Pontiac. And for the record, it's a shame that more bands do not embrace the pop. Why be in a band and not play fun music? My favorite bands all play smart, fun pop'n'rock (Kinks, Young Fresh Fellows come to mind...as do "newer" acts like The Figgs, Boris The Sprinkler, Junior Varsity, The Rondelles). Thanks for acknowledging and appreciating our poppy ways, you are a good and kind man.

Q: O.K. Let's say you're stranded on a desert island with a Hi Fi, and any record of you're choice. What record would you choose, and why?

James: My practical side says Public Image Limited's "Metal Box" for the obvious reason that the lp comes in a metal film canister which would really come in handy on a desert island for use as a pot, mirror, reflecting device, and heck, you could probably use the thing as a weapon as well, should the need arise. Heck, I'm sure playing the album would ward off any pirates or cannibals... Of course, I don't think Iwould really want to listen to that lp too often... so I'll have to listen to my inpractical side and go with a 45 rpm of "The Alley Cat" because it's so darn danceable.

Mike: Oh sure, James. You always get to namecheck the P.I.L. records before me and Pontiac. I guess I will settle for the Kinks' "Village Green Preservation Society," my favorite LP from my favorite band. The beauty of this record is that it functions on so many levels. Pliable! Flexible! Malable (spelling? Now we see one of the few drawbacks ofthe email interview. In a conventional interview I could use a wordlike "malable" and readers would think to them selves, "that's one bright guy." But now they can see that though I may have used the word "malable" properly, I can not spell the word correctly and I come across as, well, something less that the sharpest knife in the drawer. Betrayed by technological progress!) You can simply bop your head to it, or dance along. Or, if you prefer a bit of the intellectual stuff, you can dig through the lyrics and find, well, just about everything.

Chris: I guess I would want to have a copy of either "Ramonesmania" or Iron Maiden's "Somewhere In Time." I've had both those records for a long, long time and have yet to get sick of them.

James: But Chris, did "Ramonesmania" ever come out on vinyl--hence giving it the qualities that technically make it a record? I can't be sure, but my feeling is that it was a CD/Cassette only release. Judges, do we have a disqualification?

Judge: To my knowledge it was a compact disc only record, but due to the circumstances it will do.

Q: O.K. - Same situation as above only with a T.V. If you could only get one program a day what would it be, and why?

James: Egads, that is a tough one... I suppose I'd either choose "Gidget" or "Get A Life." "Gidget" was full of cool surfer boys and girls, but Chris Elliot's "Get A Life" was the best thing to ever air on television. My reason for choosing a sit-com is that if you're on a desert island, you probably don't have that much time to sit around watching television--after all, when did Giligan and company ever sit in front of a coconut boob-tube? Never. But 23 minutes of relaxation a day would be pleasant.

Mike: Good choice in "Get A Life," James. As with my choice of records, I'm going to opt for something that works on many levels (such tendencies have led me to being nicknamed "Old Multi-Tiered" Faloon. Really!), namely SCTV, the funniest show ever to grace the tube. I have watched SCTC for a long time and there are still sketches that I do not get. The desert isle experience would afford me the opportunity to really concentrate on these sketches. I will laugh! I will learn!

Chris: TV show? That's a no brainer. "Happy Days"!!!

Q: What are the future plans for the Kung Fu Monkeys as far as new releases, and Touring goes?

Mike: I'll let James cover the "conventional" releases but there is one that I'd like to mention. Pontiac and I are lobbying to do a CD that would feature drums'n'bass-centric remixes of the more popular Kung Fu Monkeys songs. Originally, I had envisioned a kind of trip hop thing but that's so '97.

Chris: And as an added bonus, there would be 4 or 5 tracks of James complaining about being the Milli Vanilli of the KFM. Here is a sample, "Come on guys....let me sing for real.... <sniffle>"

James: Well I guess every ship has it barnacles... The big project we're working on now is a three song 7" record tentatively titled "Girls, Cars, Sun, Fun: More Adventures In High Spirited Shag-haired Bug Music!" and it's a concept record about the history of rock'n'roll, utilizing the Ramones as the ideological paradigm for the undertaking. That record is being recorded in December 1998 for release on the fabulous Killer Records imprint, based in Pori, Finland. The fellow who runs that label is named Rami and he is a mighty swell chap. In late February we're also going to take the plunge and record a full-length compact disc for Mutant Pop. I'm not at liberty to disclose any details regarding that project at the moment, but we're really excited about that. Aside from those, we have a whole peck of compilation tracks in various stages--we've recorded our peppy song "Kisses" for a benefit cd on Recess Records to help pay Dawn Black's (of Yum Yum Tree--NYHC) medical bills (she was assualted last summer and wound up in the hospital), we're giving a number called "You Are Like The Ketchup On My Fries" to a cd being put out by Dizzy Records (Mike's label), we gave an acoustic track to Whitehouse Records for their acoustic punk record, and have also done a few cover songs... "Sandy" from Grease for Dummy-Up Records' "Grease" comp., and Buddy Holly's "Rave On" for a comp. on Atreyu Records. We are also most likely going to record a song for a Melted Records comp in early '99. All of these projects will come to fruition (knock on wood) in winter of '99. Oh yeah, for the record, I admire Milli Vanilli, and would like to point out that they were merely the mascots for a fine musical product, the same way Tony The Tiger or the Keebler Elves are for their respective products. Would you ever take a Grammy away from Tony The Tiger for not really making Frosted Flakes? I think not... I really wish people would let Flav and Rob (or at least the memory of) rest in peace. As for touring, there are plans to hit the road in summer! So if any of the readers out there would like the Kung Fu Monkeys to come to their town, play shows, and perhaps share a pancake meal with them, please get in touch with us.

Q: You recently made a TV appearance, how did that come about, and how was the inside look at the vast world of television?

Chris: How did it come about?? Let me just say I have recently been informed by our lawyers that The Uncle Floyd Show has filed a sexual harassment suit against James. Sometimes he can take his begging a little too far.

Mike: (Gives a puzzled look to Chris) Well, that's how it happened on Planet Pontiac. As far as arranging our appearance on the legendary Uncle Floyd program, James did the legwork (not that kind of legwork) and the insights we gained into the world of television were many. The cast and crew on The Uncle Floyd program are all top notch professionals. They showed me a number of showbiz tricks that were of great assistance in delivering a top notch performance. I think the other guys would agree. It went by in a blur but was a most memorable occasion (topped off by a really lame lunch at a really lame diner in a really lame town in Jersey, the grilled cheese is a delicate dish!)James: What more can I say. Uncle Floyd is a show business legend--a real craftsman. And he has surrounded himself with a real troup of artists. He's been entertaining children and adults alike for well over 20 years, and his show has had the unlikely distinction of having the Ramones, the Misfits, and Bon Jovi as musical guests. As such, I've admired his work and reputation for a long time, and when I found out that the program (which aired on NBC in the 70s and early 80s) was still running, now on cable, I jumped at the chance to send in a demonstration cassette of our music, which the show's staff took a shining to, and in turn, invited us to appear on the program.

James: Like Mike and Chris, I too would have to agree that our performance on the "Uncle Floyd Show" was one of the "hi-lites" of the band's storied career, though I'm not sure "career" is the right word.... And for the record, let me stress that we do not have any lawyers and that I never did anything even remotely PG-13 with, near, or around Uncle Floyd, his associates, family, family pets and/or fans!

Q: So what your saying is that James is only a Kung Fu Monkey for his good looks, charm, ability to dance, and charisma with the ladies?

James: I think this is best if not left up to debate... though actually, you've touched upon a great point, which is that each Kung Fu Monkey has a very distinct personality.

Mike: Yes, that and the fact that he writes and sings all of our material. Other than that, Chris and I carry the act. In addition, I have a number of other functions to perform. As you may very well know, the 1990s have been declared the "Decade of the Goofy Drummer" by the United Nations and I am doing my best to promote that. Turds like Don Henley and Phil Collins really mucked up the 1970s and 1980s (despite a valient effort by the guy from The Romantics), and I'm doing my part to restore drummers to their rightful place in the annals of pop. Aside from my work with the U.N., I have a handful of pet causes the I attempt to promote...fusing sports and pop (the primary sports being baseball and luging) and keeping alive the names of past pop greats (The Kinks, E.L.O., etc.). And cheering for the continuation of the NBA players strike! Woo hoo!

Chris: All joking aside, James is really Mr. Monkey. I won't speak for Mike, but I for one have had to adjust my personality on stage to fit in with James' vision. Playing bass is easy. Its hard to be Richie Cunningham when the Fonz is in my blood.

Mike: You can always speak for me, fellow member of the rhythm section, though to be truthful, being goofy on stage is quite natural for me. It is the non-stage portion of life that is a challenge for me. Also, I think Chris is being shy, he's really quite the ladies man. When we perform live, he has to play in one of those diving cages they use when studying sharks. L.L.C.C., Ladies Love Cool Chris!

Chris: Shouldn't that be L.L.C.P., Ladies Love Cool Pontiac??? I love Shark Week.

Q: I would also like to point out that I think James has a good point about Milli Vanilli, I never actually thought about it that way but it really does make sense.

Mike: My beef with Milli Vanilli has nothing to do with whether or notthey sang on those songs. The Monkees did not perform on all of their numbers. The Bangles had more than a little help writing some of their hit material (though if you listen to their debut LP, "All Over The Place," you realize they didn't need help penning top notch tunes). For me the sticking point with Milli Vanilli is that the songs really suck.

Chris: I wasn't paying attention to James when he answered.

James: I can't allow that comment to go by without a retort, however, in the interest of brevity, I will simply state that history will be kind to Rob and Flav...

Q: Have you kids ever had any brushes with the law, if so what's the story behind it?

James: A couple of weeks ago a police officer reprimanded me for crossing the street just as the traffic signal began flashing "Don't Walk." Aside from that, the only records I have are the ones I put on the turntable.

Chris: I have felt the cold steel around my wrist. The conditons of my parole force me to leave it at that.

Mike: As far as I know, my record is clean as a whistle...a very clean, ununsed whistle, not a whistle that was left outside and subsequently got dirty.

Q: What's better Pepsi or coke?

James: That shouldn't even be presented as a question... as the saying goes "Coke Is It!" But I will present the following as evidence of Coke's inherant superiority: The Beach Boys made advertisements for Coke in the early 60s that were as catchy as any of their surf hits. Michael Jackson did an ad for Pepsi and caught on fire.

Chris: I don't drink soda...but if i was going to...it'd be Coca-Cola. Cherry Flavored Coca-Cola, to be exact!!!!! Hey James, remember when we went to see Michael Jackson's Victory Tour?? We saw Eric Estrada.

James: That's right--Chris and I grew up together, and have enjoyed many a Coca-cola in each other's company--even behind enemy lines (such as at the Pepsi-sponsored Jackson Victory tour, which Chris' parents took us to see). Perhaps the most interesting thing about that show was that the J5 had a juggler open for them... talk about being insecure.

Mike: I'm the preferer of Pepsi in the band. It nearly came to blows when I revealed this to James and Chris but we all recognize what a cash cow we have in KFM and decided to accept each other regardless of our differences. That said, I should point out that, referring back to James's response, the Beach Boys also appeared on "Full House," endorsed heroin and recorded "Kokomo," so perhaps they are not the most reliable of guides when it comes to taste.

James: Mike, must you constantly force me to do this... "Full House" is an excellent show--anything with Bob Saget is pure gold... Jesse Stamosis a national treasure, and the Olson twins are simply divine--I assure you that they will either be Born-again Christians or authors of the most scandalous "Tell-All" books of the millenium in about 5 years. As for Uncle Joey, I heard a rumor that Alanis Morisette wrote her mega-hit "And I'm Here To Remind You" (or whatever it is called) about her short-lived love affair with him. I can't defend everything the Beach Boys have ever done (needle drugs=bad idea, kids) but I will defend the quirky charms of "Kokomo." For some reason I've always thought that would be a really good name for a wacky chimpanzee side-kick. Chris: And lets not forget that Jesse Stamos played bongos on "Kokomo".

Chris: What was the question again??

James: I think it was something about breakfast cereal...

Contact the Kung Fu Monkeys via there web page at http://home.att.net/~topsyturvey/