"I guess I should really let you leave now. I think Lia's gonna kill me for dragging her over here at 7 o'clock in the morning," Randy said, as she propped herself up on the Hanson's van. People were beginning to load into the back. Lia was talking to Isaac on the front porch. They were probably discussing whether or not to break off their so-called relationship. It hadn't really been more than a couple of meaningless dates on Saturdays when they'd nothing better to do.
Randy, on the other hand, found herself quite smitten with Taylor. They'd hit it off amazingly well. In fact, Randy was having a hard time trying to find the right words to say good-bye. She didn't know if going out with him for the past 2 months constituted enough time to decide if she loved him or not. She was pretty sure she did, but dare she say it?
"Hey, what's that look for?" he asked. "What are you thinking?"
She smiled at him. "Nothing."
He rolled his eyes. "What's new?"
She hit him and laughed. "I guess this is where we..."
"No!" he said, taking her shoulders with his hands and shaking her slightly. "Don't say the g-word. It makes it worse. So, we'll have to think of something better..."
He tapped his foot and scratched his chin for a moment, appearing to be thoughtful. He suddenly brightened, and stuck his finger in the air. "I know!" He began to sing, "Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you p..."
She slapped her hand over his mouth. "Just do your job. Smile and look pretty."
He grinned, and she felt something smooth and wet on her hand. She jerked it away, and wiped it on her pants. "YOU LICKED ME!"
He leaned in and hugged her. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"
She hit him again, never breaking the embrace. "You are such a turd."
"A cute turd," he protested.
"An okay-looking turd," she compromised. He pulled away.
"I needed that; a little humility goes a long way," he said with a wink. "The herd awaits."
He lightly punched her jaw, and tipped an imaginary hat. "Here's lookin' at you, kid."
Then he hopped into the back of the van, Isaac close behind. She smiled and waved at him once the door had shut. She blew him a kiss as the van pulled out of the driveway. Before they had completely gotten out into the street, the window cracked open, and Taylor yelled out, "Love you, Randy!"
"Love you, too!" she called back. The van lurched forward, and sped down the street. Hands in the backseat waved at her through the window. A hand brushed against her shoulder. She looked to see Lia walking away from her, towards the car.
"We're leaving," she said, her voice calm and hard as usual.
Randy sighed and followed her. In the car, Lia was expressionless and silent as usual. "Did you break up with Isaac?" Randy asked.
She shrugged. "We decided that we just weren't compatible, and that we should leave the Wakes/Hanson romantic duo to you two. We're obviously no good at it."
"If you weren't so cold, maybe you would find a guy who didn't run away from you after a month or so," Randy told her.
"Don't give me advice, little sister. Some of us have plans that don't include getting married and settled down before the age of 25. Some of us have bigger goals for ourselves." Lia's blue eyes had glared pointedly in Randy's direction, and the comment had stung.
"I do have goals," Randy said in a wobbly defense of herself. "Excuse me for being nice."
The situation reminded Randy, again, that she'd never had the ideal sister that so many girls wished for. In fact, if anything, Lia could have been a complete stranger. Asides that Randy helped Lia with the dishes one night a week and occasionally folded her laundry, Lia was a total enigma to Randy. The thought caused a sharp jab in her stomach, but it soon faded to an accustomed, almost forgotten dull pain in the deepest realm of her gut. That kind of hurt never completely leaves.
"What are you thinking about?" Lia asked as they puttered along. Lia was going awfully slow.
"Nothing," Randy said quickly. "Do you mind if I turn on the radio?"
"Suit yourself," she replied. "Are you going back to school on Monday?"
"Yeah," Randy said. "I've got exams."
"Christmas is right around the corner," Lia said almost wistfully. "Do you know what you're getting Mom and Dad?"
"No," Randy replied. "Do you?"
"Yes," Lia said. "Do you remember that Christmas when we tried to pool our money to get them something? You wanted to get them a Malibu Barbie, and I wanted to get them an Emily Bronte novel and some coffee from Starbucks." She was smiling.
Although Lia's behavior struck Randy as being peculiar - frighteningly so - she still had to smile. "Yeah," she replied. "I think both of us really wanted to gifts for ourself."
"Well, neither of us drank coffee," Lia pointed out. "Wasn't that what we settled on, though? We both picked that out."
"Yeah," Randy said. "It took us 4 hours to decide which kind we wanted, though."
"I wanted to kill you so bad!" Lia laughed. "I thought we'd never get out of there."
Randy laughed with her. In the back of her head, she was trying to come up with reasons why Lia would be nice to her. She could only think of two things: a) Lia felt sorry for her, and b) her parents bribed her to be nice. A new car was probably at stake if Lia wasn't nice to her, Randy thought.
"You know, I always thought you were the biggest, most spoiled brat before," Lia told her, her voice considerably softer. She looked regretful. "Up until about 4 months ago, I was pretty sure I'd be thankful to never see you again."
Randy flinched.
"My roommate's name is Sandra. When she was 16, she felt the same way about her little sister, Drew. As she put it, Drew was Hell in pigtails. One night Drew went out to a party and after she left there, nobody ever saw her again alive. She was raped, beaten, and killed. Her body was found in somebody's trash can about 4 blocks away from Sandra's house. Sandra said she has never forgiven herself for always being so cold towards Drew." Lia sniffed. "I'm glad it started snowing on my way down here, because it means I get to spend a few more minutes alone with you."
Randy found herself getting choked up. Lia went on to say, "I'm so sorry I've always been such a ruthless bitch. You really were a good kid. My friends liked you, despite what they said, and I liked you, too. I never admitted it, but I was always kind of jealous of your ability to play life by ear. You could adjust to any change, and mend every broken heart - even your own. I've never been so flexible or giving in my life."
A huge tear rolled down Randy's cheek. "I didn't know you ever liked me."
"You're my only sister," Lia said with a sniffle. "Of course I liked you."
Randy laughed. "It's snowing again."
"I see," Lia said, squinting at the road again. It was silent for a moment. "I want you to know that I really am sorry about Taylor. I know I said that I thought you were too young to be in that kind of relationship before I left, but I was really proud of you for handling it all so maturely. I felt horrible when I heard what happened..."
Randy's eyes were now bleary with tears.
"I always wished I could have that sort of relationship," Lia told her. "I'm a bit afraid of commitment, you might say. I really did hope that things would work out for you and Taylor."
Randy nodded. "We were going to get married next fall."
"Were you?" Lia asked.
"Uh-huh," she replied. "He said he'd be here in the morning, but he wasn't."
"I'm sorry, Randy," Lia told her.
"Me, too." The car was filled with quiet. The lights of Claremore were visible as they came over one of the only hills on this strip of disconsolate highway.