Episode 3: One of things I enjoy about Survivor is it proves
Robert A. Heinlein correct in his classic novel, "Starship
Troopers". All democracies will eventually fail. Especially
when idiots have the ability to use the power of the vote,
the most brutal of forces, against individuals. Even more
especially so when against the most productive individuals.
As we last left the ever discouraging Maraamu Tribe, they had just voted off one of the remaining productive contestants, Patricia. It seems the 'Gang of Four' didn't like to have a mom around, nor any other parental figure. Even a big brother. Upon returning to camp, all fuses were lit and the Gang of Four let Hunter know they did not like the way he was running things. All this work business is tiring and useless. Sarah did not like being considered lazy, even though she is, but that's besides the point. And Sean was feeling a lack of respect from Hunter. After all, Sean deserves respect, doesn't he? To
top it all off, what we have here is a failure to communicate.

To which Gina surmises to the camera, "They don't want to be told when there's work to be done, and they don't want to do any when they know. I don't know what type of communication they want? Telecommunication?" You got it, Gina! Maybe a sat-link with Tony Robbins might help. Hunter is baffled. "What did these people think when they signed on? This is a survival game!" The Gang of Four is pretty pleased with themselves. They now know who's in control.

Rotu is having an interesting morning. Everybody got wet from last night's rain. Thus proving Kathy right, again, that the shelter sucked and needed more weather proofing.  In typical Rotu style, everyone pitches in. The shelter gets rebuilt, the fire is going, and food is gathered. John elects to try out that snorkel and fins to gather up some delights of the sea. Instead, he gets a dozen spikes from the dreaded black sea urchin.  We next learn that there's only one cure for this toxin..., urine! "Who has to pee!?!?",  John shouts out as he wades ashore.

Paschal immediately comes a running, but fails to produce any of the needed juices.  Now comes Kathy. She would like nothing better than to piss all over John. They've been nasty to each other since Day One as to who is the Queen of the Beach. Kathy delivers and John's hand is well wetted, curing him. Kathy is more than happy to "...perform when duty calls."

Back at the Maraamu Tribe, which we shall now dub Moron-U, all appears forgiven in the morning as they return to their favorite pasttime, loofing about with that  stupid morning show. Vecepia swoons as she tells the camera how the rain washed away all the negative feelings from last night. Yeah, rrrrrright! Hunter does his best to play along. But then Jeff Probst interrupts the party with the reward challenge. He boats ashore, bearing bundles of bamboo and 300 feet of rope. The tribe's must build a large, strong raft for the next challenge. They will have to carry large objects, so he warns them to make sure it's as big as can they make it. This flies right over the heads of the braintrust of Moron-U. Sarah looks annoyed that she has to get her feet wet, let alone do any work. All these challenges be wearin' down ol' Sean.  Rob starts to lay out a plan for the raft, but nobody understands what he is saying, least of all himself. Hunter, who just stood back at first and watched, finally get's fed up and decides he'll build the raft, even if he has to do it himself. Gina pitches in and helps out her hunky leader. The others stumble about looking busy.  Hunter opts for a standard design of two large bundles of bamboo as floats, with some long spars cross-wise to hold both together.

Over at Rotu, Gabe has another design strategy. Instead of displacing water by weight, he choses to displace it with surface area. They make a large raft, with plenty of deck space. Actually, more like two rafts connected side-by-side, just like Rotu. Hmmmm.  Unfortunately, Robert injures his foot, but even bloodied, he presses on in true, Rotu
fashion. There just seems no stopping these guys! They start to remind me of the posse that chased Butch and Sundance over the cliff.

The contestants paddle over to the challenge, where Jeff explains they each have five crates, anchored in a zig-zag pattern. The first tribe to get all five and make it back wins their choice of reward.  A week's worth of rice, or four sets of pillows and blankets.
Survivors ready....BEGIN!

The race seems tight at first, but it's technique, thanks to raft design that counts. Rotu reaches a crate, and while one person hoists the crate unto the raft, with ample room, another hauls up the anchor line and unties it. Nice teamwork! Meanwhile, poor Moron-U has neither the room, nor the teamwork. One person struggles to do both.
On top of this, is just poor seamanship and paddling technique. Hunter is the only one who is paddling properly. Sarah and Sean are stirring very little water with their oars.  Still, the course is short enough that both teams are essentially neck and neck till just before the end. Sean and Sarah both stopped paddling and Rotu managed to
win again. They chose the pillows and blankets, since a good, warm night's rest is more important than a bit of food. Moron-U skulks home.

Back at the beach, the Morons groan about the food again. They're getting tired of grapefruit and mangos. Where's the pizza? Sean complains that all this losing is wearing him down some more. He wanted rice in his belly! Hunter is disgusted. He tells the camera that winning isn't something you just turn on before a competition, it's something you do 24 hours a day. He's sure that if people would stop complaining and do some work to improve conditions, they'd function better as a team and start winning. Hard work equals success. Of course, none of his tribe come anywhere close to Hunter's experience. Our favorite jet-jock was a U.S. Naval aviator, who's daily routine was flying 20 tons of hot metal at Mach Two, and then land it all onto a pitching, rolling deck, and stopping in under two hundred feet. You have to actually believe in yourself to do something like that everyday. And it took a lot of work to earn that ride.

Rotu is giddy with success. They have it all now, injuries and all. Speaking of which, John gets hurt again while hunting for food. This time, an eel nearly bites one of his fingers off. Gee, I don't recall Kathy getting hurt every ten minutes while looking for food. Luckily for John, she doesn't have to pee on him..., this time. Some people have it, and some people don't. John don't have it.

This week's immunity challenge is rigged to help Moron-U win one. It's a pivoted maze, controlled by ropes and pulleys, with a hole in the center. The first team to get three coconuts in the hole wins. Since only five players are needed, Rotu sits out three the injured John, Robert, and the quiet Zoe. The Moron-U's sit out Gina, which seems pretty stupid to me. You need somebody who can reason for this
game and she is a brighter bulb than all but Hunter. But the game is on and for once it looks like the Morons might win. Vecepia gave good direction and scored the first point, even beating Gabe. Sarah also did well, with help from Vee and Hunter, and scored before Tammy. But Rob, who can barely speak in more than two syllables, blows the lead. Paschal does well to get Rotu back in the game, though Gabe and Tammy were also barking out orders. Despite the best efforts of Mark Burnett, Rotu won again. Even Jeff is disgusted, barely mumbling that the Morons are due back at Tribal Council.

Hunter is beside himself, and tries to woo Rob into thinking that it's time to get rid of the dead weight, namely Sarah, and try to get something going. At the rate the Moron's are losing, it'll be eight Rotu and two Maraamu at the merge. That's not going to do any of them any good. But Rob does not subscribe to rational thinking. He might subscribe to "Big-Ums", but not to any form of logic.

Rob tells the camera that he doesn't care if his tribe is the strongest (camera on Hunter), nor the smartest (camera on Gina). All he cares about is to have people around who OBEY him. Rob, as it turns out, thinks he's the Godfather of Nuka Hiva.  He's pulling the strings, whether people realize it or not. He uses fear to control the others. Rob plants in Sean's head that Hunter plans to vote out Sarah, and then Sean. Sean tells Vee this, to secure her vote. It's time to vote off The Man.

Tribal Council is pathetic. At Jeff's questions, Hunter responds with a sports analogy. He reminds me of any number of head coaches for the Detroit Lions, one of the sorriest franchises in the NFL. We just gotta forget about today's loss and look to tomorrow. Unfortunately, just as the Lions are reluctant to spend the money to hire the talent, Hunter has no choice in his team's personnel. Sarah is, as usual, optimistic. Everybody's getting along fine. She's very happy. Sean drones
on again about how all this losin' is a wearin' 'im a down, man. He's never lost this much before. Probably because he's never been in anything with such high stakes before.

At the vote, Hunter and Gina vote for Sarah, and the Gang of Four shoots down our vaunted Hunter. Once more, Mark Burnett's dream of Survivor being a 'merit-ocracy' goes down in flames. Hunter Ellis, the heroic one, perhaps the most qualified contestant yet to appear on Survivor, is destroyed by the mob. A mob of morons. The Collective versus the Individual. Where is Ayn Rand now when we need her! With his parting words, Hunter bids Maraamu adeau, and promises to
call the Red Cross so they can find the knucklheads when they are dying of starvation and dehydration in a few days.

SPOILERS: Gina fights for her survival (in her bikini no less), and something is about to happen that will turn all the Survivors world's upside-down! Hmmm, could this be the anticipated switch-a-roo, ala Survivor: Africa???