The Horror...the horror!
by
Andy Zarowny

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"Survivor Review" is a private fan site and is no way affiliated with CBS or Mark Burnett Productions.  Many of the pictures and graphics are taken from the official CBS "Survivor Thailand" website, as well as other sites, such as "CBS Early Show".  This site's intent is not to infringe on any copyrighted or trademarked material, only to review and speculate on a TV series which has captured our imaginations.

"Survivor: Thailand" (S5) began with the much anticipated new twist.
Te men and women were divided by gender, and after everybody
introduced themselves, Jeff Probst had the eldest woman and man
(Jan and Jake) chose the teams.  Jake picked those for  the Sook Jai
(helping hand) (purple buff) tribe: Stephanie, Ken, Penny, Jed,
Shianna, Robb, and Erin.  Jan picked those for the Chuy Gahn (good
heart) (red buff) tribe:  Ted, Helen, John, Ghandia, Brian, Tanya, and
Clay. 

Jeff then sent the two teams packing to their new home.  The boat
ride was generally uneventful, with the exception the Sook Jia tribe.
Not only do they not know how to row, they did not know the bow
from the stern, and wound up going the whole way backwards.  They
arrived at their beach, which while is close to their water source, a
buried well, has no natural shelter.  Big problem.

Chuy Gahn, on the other hand, quickly learned how to properly row
a boat, and pointed their boat in the right direction.  Their beach has
a series of caves, which offers great shelter, minus the snake tracks.
However, their water source, also a buried well, is a good distance
away.  They did find ample food nearby, but when searching for the
water, they got lost.  John, who went off on his own for a bit, finds
them and figures out the map.  He, Tanya, and Helen, take a fishing
canoe to the water well while the rest swim.  They then play a joke on
the rest, pointing to a pool of stagnant, dirty water as their source. 
The others were not amused.  Tanya got sick earlier due to dehydra-
tion, which occurs again later. 

Chaos reigns at Sook Jai.  After some initial frolicking, including
Stephanie doing a moonlight skinny dip, the tribe begins to build
their shelter on Day 2.  Tension builds as people get frustrated.  Jed
is hungry and decides to go fishing, but comes back skunked.  Robb
endears himself quickly with the others, complaining that his hands
are all cut up.  He irritates Shianna, who was going to search for food.
Jake tries to calm them down, but the damage is done.  Before they
can resume their work, the tribe gets it's first taste of monsoon rain.

Day 3 and Sook Jai still has no shelter or food.  They do have tree
mail.  The first immunity challenge is about to begin.  Both tribes
row their boats to a platform, where Jeff explains the game.  They
are to circle the island, stopping along the way at three points where
there are puzzles to be solved.  Once solved, they get a flag and then
are to move to the next.  First tribe with all three to make it back to
the platform wins the immunity idol, a sort of Buddah-like statue.

Chuy Gahn gets off to an early lead, since they know how to row as
a team.  They get to the first puzzle, a sort of maze thing, and Jan
succeeds in getting the flag.  The next stop, Brian goes underwater
to cut a rope and release the second flag.  Chuy Gahn now has a huge
lead.  But things go awry after that.

Sook Jai finally figures out how to row their boat as a team.  When
they finally arrive at the third station, they find Ghandia already
working on her game, a type of movable puzzle.  She is having huge
problems figuring it out.  Jed leaps out of Sook Jai's boat and solves
the puzzle almost immediately.  For the first time, they take the lead,
and keep it.  Ghandia finally solves her puzzle, but it's too late.  Sook
Jai wins!

The walk of shame is a hard one for Chuy Gahn.  Ghandia is crying,
fearing that she'll be voted out.  Tanya gets sick again, and fears her
illness will spell her doom.  John suspects that maybe, just maybe his
bossy nature might be a problem.  Duh!

Tribal Council is held in an ornate temple.  After Jeff's usual lame
questions, the voting begins.  John votes for Ghandia, Helen votes
for Clay, and the rest gang up on bossy John.  After the fourth vote
to John, Jeff announces that the tribe has spoken.  John was wrapped
too tight for Thailand.  He is probably wrapped too tight for Slidell,
Louisiana.  He should never have gotten off the boat.  The horror…,
the horror!

SPOILERS:  Chuy Gahn holds a golf tournament on their beach while
Sook Jai still struggles for food and shelter.