An Ode to "I'm just gettin' on for a MINUTE"

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex, I think I remember I used to have SEX! I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair, 'Tho it causes the neighbors and children to STARE!

I wanted to travel around on the Net, Been too busy chatting to get on there yet! I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint, But gettin' on with 'em is what I just ain't!

So much to learn and I wanted to, but I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut, "lisnin'" to people like NH and Cin, Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in! Then up pops a name on my neat BuddyList, Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist! And in comes an IM from some weirdo-guy, I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him 'bye 'bye.

Is there a 12-step support group, or such? For those of us folks who just chat on too much? If there was a group, I would like it just fine, Except that it prob'ly would be here on line!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some. It's got me, it's GOT me, it's power is AWESOME! It's my new computer, I've had it one week, Now I look in the mirror and I see a geek.

Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs, Please help me, please help me, please get me off line! Or better, please e-mail a burger and fries, 'Cuz I'm staying ON here, at least 'til I DIES!!