with each word i am not true
i convince myself we are Friends
we can never go beyond
will i always live in vain
to be filled with endless pain
but does he know?
how will be know
if i have erased it from my mind
but never did i want him to leave me behind
to him i said we could be nothing more
to him i said i want him to soar
deep from within my heart was screaming
he has found another
so i lay here
i don't want to feel
i don't want to love again
am i destined to live alone
too scared to give him my whole
too scared i am not what he wants
i had surrendered to his affirmation of sole devotion
only to be engulfed by promises not kept
now my eyes cannot focus
a vision of blurred confusion
never to tangibly experience true love in my heart
i hear of it
i read of it
never to fully know if love is in my life
if he tells me we are destined to be
then i leave it to the stars
wondering if when the moment is right
and his whole being begs me to give him reason to exist
will my heart let him in
or did the love we thought we had
die with each day i learned to survive
alone
tiger lily - 2/97
