never have i been so sure of someone's intrigue into my whole verve
you make excuses to speak
your little touches at every opportunity
as if you can't get enough
how many times have you told me how goregous i was
how sweet and sexy i was
you seem to know exactly what to say
to keep me in your grasp
sweet words whispered when your actions betray me
"i'll call you tonight baby" is what you say
i wait for a call that never comes
that constant up and down that i feel has me frustrated and confused
i won't let you make me second guess myself
so i keep my distance
watching women play themselves to make you theirs
i stand away from it all
a woman you never dealt with before

i want so much to tell you my thoughts
how many times have i practiced it in my mind
with every intention of letting it be known
but when i hear your voice all is lost
that once confident woman becomes a high school girl
when i'm in your presence
the words once rehearsed
stay stuck in my throat
so hard to let you in
little things you say to encourage me to speak
but i only become defensive
wanting so much to believe you
but deja vu has me tormented and scared
i refuse to lose my control
and become that once vulnerable girl
i learned from past mistakes
and swore to never let her return
so many times i gave up my power
only to be burned by the fire
so you need to understand the reluctance i hold strong
you need to give as i give
to love as i love
to speak from your heart
where the truth never lies
only then will you see this vulnerable girl
respect me as i respect you
care for me as i care for you
let go of your stubborn pride that prevents us from reaching the next level
dont treat me as if i am a child
who thrives on playing games
let me be that confident woman
who deserves the peace of happiness
and the love of a beautiful man

tiger lily - 7/99

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