Take Me Back...
Home
FILTHY STINKING RICH...WELL, TWO OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD
I USED UP ALL MY SICK DAYS...SO I CALLED IN DEAD
HUSBAND AND CAT LOST...REWARD FOR CAT
BE NICE TO YOUR CHILDREN...THEY'LL PICK YOUR NURSING HOME
HUSBANDS SHOULD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS
UPON THE ADVICE OF MY ATTORNEY, MY SHIRT BEARS NO MESSAGE AT THIS TIME
LIFE'S A BITCH AND THEN YOU MARRY ONE
BIGAMY IS HAVING ONE WIFE TOO MANY...MONOGAMY IS THE SAME
I'M NOT SUDDENLY A DIRTY OLD MAN...I'VE BEEN PRACTICING ALL MY LIFE!
HAPPINESS IS SEEING YOUR BOSS ON A MILK CARTON
JUST GIVE ME CHOCOLATE AND NOBODY GETS HURT
A NEST ISN'T EMPTY TIL ALL THEIR STUFF IS OUT OF THE ATTIC
THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING GRANDMA!
WRINKLED WAS NOT ONE OF THE THINGS I WANTED TO BE WHEN I GREW UP
I YELL BECAUSE I CARE
IF YOU REMEMBER THE 60'S, YOU WEREN'T REALLY THERE
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
MY HUSBAND AND I MARRIED FOR BETTER OR WORSE...HE COULDN'T DO BETTER AND I COULDN'T DO WORSE
MY DOG CAN LICK ANYONE
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A WOMAN
I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY...I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT
THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT MEN, THE MORE I LOVE MY HARLEY
THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ARE ANNOYING TO THOSE OF US THAT DO
I AM THE PERSON YOUR PARENTS WARNED YOU ABOUT
I'M NOT GETTING OLDER...I'M GETTING MEANER
I KILLED A SIX-PACK JUST TO SEE IT DIE
I DO WHATEVER THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO DO
I MAY BE GETTING OLDER BUT I REFUSE TO GROW UP
I'M NOT 50...I'M 18 WITH 32 YEARS EXPERIENCE
PARENTS OF TEENAGERS KNOW WHY ANIMALS EAT THEIR YOUNG
I HAVE PMS AND A BASEBALL BAT...ANY QUESTIONS?
I'D SLAP YOU BUT SHIT SPLATTERS
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE LITTLE VOICES ARE TALKING TO ME
DON'T ANNOY THE CRAZY PERSON
WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT THEM?
REMEMBER MY NAME...YOU'LL BE SCREAMING IT LATER
I DID NOT ESCAPE...THEY LET ME OUT ON A DAY PASS
DON'T PISS ME OFF...I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES
INSTANT ASSHOLE...JUST ADD ALCOHOL
WHIP ME, BEAT ME, MAKE ME WRITE BAD CHECKS
I'M TATTOOED IN PLACES YOU'D LOVE TO LICK
Home...Page 2
Home...Page 3