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FILTHY STINKING RICH...WELL, TWO OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD I USED UP ALL MY SICK DAYS...SO I CALLED IN DEAD HUSBAND AND CAT LOST...REWARD FOR CAT BE NICE TO YOUR CHILDREN...THEY'LL PICK YOUR NURSING HOME HUSBANDS SHOULD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS UPON THE ADVICE OF MY ATTORNEY, MY SHIRT BEARS NO MESSAGE AT THIS TIME LIFE'S A BITCH AND THEN YOU MARRY ONE BIGAMY IS HAVING ONE WIFE TOO MANY...MONOGAMY IS THE SAME I'M NOT SUDDENLY A DIRTY OLD MAN...I'VE BEEN PRACTICING ALL MY LIFE! HAPPINESS IS SEEING YOUR BOSS ON A MILK CARTON JUST GIVE ME CHOCOLATE AND NOBODY GETS HURT A NEST ISN'T EMPTY TIL ALL THEIR STUFF IS OUT OF THE ATTIC THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING GRANDMA! WRINKLED WAS NOT ONE OF THE THINGS I WANTED TO BE WHEN I GREW UP I YELL BECAUSE I CARE IF YOU REMEMBER THE 60'S, YOU WEREN'T REALLY THERE REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS MY HUSBAND AND I MARRIED FOR BETTER OR WORSE...HE COULDN'T DO BETTER AND I COULDN'T DO WORSE MY DOG CAN LICK ANYONE NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A WOMAN I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY...I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT MEN, THE MORE I LOVE MY HARLEY THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ARE ANNOYING TO THOSE OF US THAT DO I AM THE PERSON YOUR PARENTS WARNED YOU ABOUT I'M NOT GETTING OLDER...I'M GETTING MEANER I KILLED A SIX-PACK JUST TO SEE IT DIE I DO WHATEVER THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO DO I MAY BE GETTING OLDER BUT I REFUSE TO GROW UP I'M NOT 50...I'M 18 WITH 32 YEARS EXPERIENCE PARENTS OF TEENAGERS KNOW WHY ANIMALS EAT THEIR YOUNG I HAVE PMS AND A BASEBALL BAT...ANY QUESTIONS? I'D SLAP YOU BUT SHIT SPLATTERS YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE LITTLE VOICES ARE TALKING TO ME DON'T ANNOY THE CRAZY PERSON WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT THEM? REMEMBER MY NAME...YOU'LL BE SCREAMING IT LATER I DID NOT ESCAPE...THEY LET ME OUT ON A DAY PASS DON'T PISS ME OFF...I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES INSTANT ASSHOLE...JUST ADD ALCOHOL WHIP ME, BEAT ME, MAKE ME WRITE BAD CHECKS I'M TATTOOED IN PLACES YOU'D LOVE TO LICK
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