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IF YOU RECEIVE AN E-MAIL OR A WEB PAGE ENTITLED 'BADTIMES' DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY!! DO NOT OPEN IT!! THIS IS PRETTY NASTY!!
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It de-magnitizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so that all of your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your telephone's auto dial feature to call only your mother-in-law's phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all of your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way which is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all of your active verbs to passive tense and incorporate undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretation of key sentences. If the 'Badtimes' message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
THESE ARE JUST A FEW SIGNS OF THE INFECTION!!!
Chances are, that if you read this whole page, you have already been infected by this virus. Be on the lookout for any of the symptoms!!
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