WHITE BELT FEVER
By Avatar of Stonehelm
(Done in slow talkin’ blues, reminiscent of Leon Redbone)
M’lady don’ you worry none
Ima gonna be alright
Don’ wanna see no chur’geons
No need for the Last Rites
Still, I’ve got this fever
And you can just be sure
That I pray to the Good Lord
That no one will find a cure
(‘Cause I’ve got)White Belt Fever
Rollin’ aroun’ my brain
Baby, doncha know I’m into
White leather and golden chains?
A knight must be a leader
A symbol of grace and skill
He’s also got to dance and play chess
But mostly he must KILL
A knight can always fight in
Any Crown he choose
You’ll never find him in a shieldwall
Oh yes—then there’s chivalry, too!
(An‘ I’ve got) White Belt Fever
Rollin’ aroun’ my brain
Baby, doncha know I’m into
White leather and golden chains?
A knight defends his virtue
But still must have his fun
A knight is not considered well-armed
Without a lady on each one
He’s always at Head Table
His cup is never dry
They tell that if he doesn’t want to
A knight never has to die!
(An‘ I’ve got) White Belt Fever
Rollin’ aroun’ my brain
Baby, doncha know I’m into
White leather and golden chains?
Still, I’ve got this fever
There ain’t no end in sight
It’s makin’ me Patently Offensive*
So hurry an’ make me a knight!
“Take this blow and no other”
Is what the King will say
It doesn’t matter ‘cuz since I’ve been a squire
I haven’t taken one anyway!
(An‘ I’ve got) White Belt Fever
Rollin’ aroun’ my brain
Baby, doncha know I’m into
White leather and golden chains?
(An‘ I’ve got) White Belt Fever
Rollin’ aroun’ my brain
Baby, doncha know I’m into
White leather and golden chains?
(Alternate second ending)
Although it’s true that knighthood
Has its certain charms
There’s a lot of macho in gold spurs
I’ll settle for Master-at-Arms!
*That’s a joke, son.
