It's good to have a window on the world
And to live deep in the heart of the beast in the sun
Night after night, I do the same damn thing
Do the weirdness dance, for those who can't
It's getting to the point where I can't take it anymore
Anymore,yea anymore
Waking up at 3 PM
In a thrashed bedroom, sharp with needles and knives
Reach for the crutches that keep in motion
Vague memories that keep me alive
Like when she used to call me baby...
All alone in our room, in the middle of the night
Kill the sun, yes, kill the sun
Kill the sun
Come on, come on, stop the light
Yes, I 've got sunshine
It's a suicide song in the back of my mind
Pure white evil wrapped around my eyes
Yeah I've got all the cities of light to live in
I don't even want no part
Hard is the fall
Cold is the bite
Kill the sun, yeah come on stop the light...
Kill the night
~~~Anita Sonic Love~~~
I hear the sonic sound of brakes
As you whisper in my ear
I hold your head between my sweaty hands
And shout loud for all to hear
Anita say the word
I smell gasoline and I feel the heat
As we make love standing up
In the alley behind your street
Glow and crumble girl
I want you but I don't want your world
Anita say the word...
And I will walk with you almost anywhere
Back to Al's bar, baby hand in hand
All them local boys will know that I'm your new man
Hey see Anita, yeah she's my scary girl
All black blue eyes and blue blackened hair
I can taste the heaven waiting there
Shake and tremble, broken grace
I admit it, I'm in love, but out of place
Anita say the word...
And I will sleep with you in that misfit way
With the TV noise so loud it soothes my fears
And the flickering light bathes your face
I wake from the drugs and the fear
In the night outside the world reverberates
Blue shadows in our loft, downtown L.A.
Outside the world reverberates
I need the strength I see in her
I need the love I feel inside
We talk about leaving behind the hell we're in
We laugh about making it out alive
Yeah, see Anita, yeah she's my pretty girl
Blind eyes to the world outside
No more so than the rest of the world...
No more so, than any other girl
It makes no sense to me...
Yeah Anita, say the word
~~~Eleanor Young~~~
Eleanor Young, Eleanor child
Standing on a lonely hilltop in the Appalachian wild
Eleanor sing, Eleanor scream
Shout loud for your own green world
Doors don’t open for the country girl
Oh, they lied to you
They sung to you songs you weren’t meant to hear
They showed you life your eyes were never meant to see
Yeah, you should have seen right through
But you believed
Eleanor grow, Eleanor cold
Midnight in a dim-lit diner, in the driving Detroit snow
Eleanor yearn, Eleanor learn
One child with no last name
Your boyfriend runs who do you blame
Oh, he lied to you
He did to you things they taught you were sin
He took from you the best that was within you
He showed you things your eyes should never have seen
And the saddest thing of all, baby you believed
Yeah, yeah, the saddest thing of all, you believed
Yeah Mama you believed
Eleanor age, Eleanor cage
See California on New Year’s Day
Sun shines warm on the Rose Parade
Eleanor ache, Eleanor break
Come out west with your last born child
I grew up scared, weird, and wild
Oh you lied to me
You hid from me knowledge I should have known
You kept from me the life that was my own
You shielded me from things I should have seen
For a very short while Mama, I believed...
~~~Carolea~~~
She came to the coast from the Show Me state
With her daddy's blue eyes and her mama's blind hate
Guess she didn't know much but she knew the rules
What she needed to learn, she would find in L.A.
Not back in that school
Didn't wanna read about it
Guess she wanted to see
Carolea, she's Carolea
Yeah, yeah, never quite sure what she wanted to be
Just a little girl alone in a big bad place
With a devious mind and a beautiful face
Ever since she was a baby she learned how to play
Wanted money in her hands from the easiest way
All her friends said, stop girl, you can't pay the price
But the hard way out don't appeal to the beast inside
She don't wanna hear about the better life
Guess she's ready to be
Hey, Carolea
She never tells the truth to the folks back East
Truth about the drugs and the men she gets paid to please
Well they don't know
Yeah, they don't see
Yeah, that finally now after all these years
She's let the beast inside roam free
Carolea
~~~Culver Palms (or Why I Don't Believe in God)~~~
I heard the truth about you
And it doesn't really read at all
Like the whipping stick you raised me with
A scared woman in a private hell
Hushed voice like electric bell
Strange talk about Edgar Cayce
and the long lame walk of the dark 70's
I heard the truth about you
Yeah, you
Mama they woke me up
I was deep in an idiot sleep
I was just 8 years old
I heard big words with a horrible sound
Mama they called my school
To tell me my mother had a nervous breakdown
I wish I believed like you do
Yeah, you
In the myth of a merciful God
In the myth of a Heaven or Hell
I hear the voices you hear sometimes
Sometimes it gets so much I feel like letting go
Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting it go
Sometimes it gets so goddamn hard
I feel like letting it all go...
I ran away, went looking for you
Back to Culver City and the old neighborhood
Need to know if you were really gone
Need to know if you were gone for good
I ran through the projects at night
Hide in the dark from my friends in the light
Hide from my brother-in-law
Hide from the things he'd say
He said you weren't losing your mind
He said you just needed a rest
He said you'd be coming home soon
He said the doctors there would know what's best
He said that maybe I could go live with them for a while
I heard the truth about you
I know the truth about you...
Yeah, they woke me up
I was just 8 years old
Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting it go
Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting it all go...
~~~13 Years~~~
Woke up sweating in the sun
Sprawled across my big brother's grave
Shaking and drunk with sleep
I crawled to my feet and walked up into the shade
Of a young elm tree that must have been planted since the last we came
Vicki, my mom, and me, cleaned the dirt
From the plaque that says his name
Walking to my girlfriend's car
Came back down on me
Yeah, I guess I fell to my knees
To keep from falling face-first into the dream
The vision that had had me twisting out under the afternoon sky
I didn't know it then
But it was thirteen years to the day he died
He held his hand to me
Like brothers we walked
Through the colorless world of an alcohol dream
I talked for hours
Trying the break through the silence
That he held over me
Then he started away, turned his head
Keep it up so you can die like me
Ever since my brother OD'd
I've drifted all over from town to town to town
Every place I go it's always the same
I keep doing junk, I keep going down
My mama got religion and my sisters gave up
Man I just gave up too
I just died inside
Don't wanna die like George
Everybody says there's things to see
Everybody's pointing their fingers at me
I woke up driving
After another blackout from another bad drug
I can't shake this hell that I made for myself
For every other life I took
See my sister's son walk the line I walked
He's only sixteen
If he don't learn from my mistakes
He's gonna waste away
He's gonna die like me
~~~Separation~~~
(Girl leaving message on an answering machine)
Wish I had the strength inside to make you go away
Wish I was immune
Ever since I met you drinking at the circle bar
I go where you will to keep from being ripped in two
I still smile when I think of 1986
You and me in that little room drunk on sex
And we’d fall asleep at every band we’d go to see
Easier to pass out then to deal with you and me alone
Sitting in the dark hearing John Doe sing
About poor little girls and silver wings
Yeah baby something’s gotta give
Wish I knew why you're so intent on breaking me
Act like a bitch possessed, yeah a bitch possessed
I’ve had it up to here with your crazy ever-changing moods
I just take your worst, while you just take my best
I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough
Yeah I need a break
You’re always out screwing around while I’m banging on the neighbor’s door
Hoping they’ll turn the Led Zepplin down
Yeah baby something’s gotta give
Something somewhere’s gotta give
Yeah baby something’s gotta give
Yeah I think I need a break
Wanna break you from the inside out
That smug complacent smile is reason enough
I wanna cut the ties that bind my life
I wanna break you in your prime
Wish I had in me the power to make you disappear
Wish I had control
I just wanna walk away and never have to hear
About you, all the things you say that I don’t really wanna know
Yeah, what you say, what you do, where you go
Everything I loved about you was just for show
Oh baby something’s gotta give
Something somewhere’s gotta give
Yeah baby something's gotta give
Yes I think we need a break
I need to separate
I need to separate from you, I need to separate...
~~~The Color Pit~~~
Yeah, here you come again
I should have known you'd be around
Makes no sense to me why we're still alive
You've got weeks to live and I am on a spiral dive
When you finally die
Don't let me need you there
I know damn well you're not alone
Surrounded laughing by the death head grins
Of all my friends who've overdosed
Overdosed and died
And you know
That's the way we go
Back in your color room the shadows fall and break
We would waste away
Burning out, shooting up
I'm not gonna fall with you this time
I might not get up, I'm not strong enough
You know...
Can't you see it's killing me
Can't you see it's killing me
I'm not gonna walk back into the pit for you
Yeah, not for you or anyone
I don't want the speed, I don't want the heroin
I'm not gonna break
I'm not gonna play your game
When you die alone in that pit of hell
Don't perpetuate the myth, don't romanticize
I'm not gonna watch you die again
I don't want to see
You know...
You don't wanna talk about it but you know
You sit and laugh at me
You'll die laughing
Yeah, you're all fucked up
Can't you see it's killing me...
I'm not gonna walk back into the pit...
For you
~~~Chucklehead's Lament~~~
I’m the man you don’t think about
When you think about love
Lame white devil from the bars uptown
With a tatooed smile pulled tight around me like a killer’s glove
I’m the man you don’t wanna know
I’m the one
I’m that ugly one
Walking slow death ten feet behind you
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
You’ll feel the presence of a crippled man inside my mind
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
You’ll jump like danger at every face you see
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
That reminds you of a life like me
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
You’ll know my name, you’ll know what I am
For what I am
Yeah baby, I’m the man
That you will never want
When you want to have sex
Broken body and a misshaped head
Only bring to conscious mind the unclean smell of bitter sweat
I’m the man you will never make
When you want to make love
I’m just the man who holds your glance in violence
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
You’ll feel the presence of a crippled man inside my mind
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
You’ll jump like danger at every face you see
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
That reminds you hard of a life like me
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go
You’ll know my name, you’ll know what I am
Yeah, for what I am
Oh baby, baby, I’m the man
Yes, I'm the man
I’m the man you will never need
When you need to break down
I don’t have the soft answers that you need
All I have are questions and my shoulders just aren‘t strong enough
I’m the one you don’t want to know
I’m the man inside every man
I am waiting patiently and watching
Wherever you go, hey wherever you go...
~~~Static~~~
I got a girl in Saux St. Marie
Takes a bus every weekend just to come across the miles to me
Leaves her room in the shadow of the bridge
To spend two days life blind in my dirty bed
Doesn't asks questions, never talks down
About the things I do when she isn’t around
Yeah I just about live in the bars around town
I lose myself in the voice of the crowd
Each and every day I need static
I don’t wanna go home alone
I know a girl just outside of Lacrosse
She meets me in Milwaukee when the weather gets humid and hot
She leaves her husband and retarded baby girl
Just to walk for a while unencumbered in an easier world
No questions, never asks why
I walk the floor in the middle of the night and stare
Out the window of an ugly motel
At the neon signs outside
Think about the hell I sell
To make my static
I don’t wanna go home, I don’t wanna go home
I don’t wanna go home alone...
Got a girl in Saux St. Marie
Takes a bus every weekend just to come across the miles to me
Leaves her room in the shadow of the bridge
Just to spend two days life blind in my dirty bed
Doesn't asks questions, never talks down
About the life I lead when she isn’t around
Yeah, I just about live in the bars around town
Lose myself in the voice of the crowd
Walk around stupid and blind and proud
Each and every day I need static
I don’t wanna go home alone...
I don’t wanna go home
~~~(The Gay Bar Song)~~~
Wasn't that you
Walking down Pico boulevard
Yeah, wasn't that you
Looking cool, baby, walking hard
Wasn't that you fallin' drunk out of that black girls car
Yeah, wasn't that you?
Baby, wasn't that you?
Baby wasn't that you last night at the gay bar
You had a dazed look on your face and a big girl on your arm
You've been running around, girl
You've been acting strange
Since we hit this west coast town in March of last year
I don't even know what we're doing here
I tried so hard to see what burns inside your heart
Your burning heart
Baby wasn't that you last night at the gay bar
Well we came form Texas with one single plan
You was gonna model and act
I was gonna play in a rock and roll band
We didn't talk breaks or chance
We was going to make it real with our own hands
All you want to do is dance around and fall like an idiot star
Tell me, is it true that heroin illuminates the dark?
Wasn't that you last night at the gay bar
Get your things and don't you dare come back
I'm going to leave this fucked up place
I don't want to see your fucked up face
I don't want to drag this mess around
Hold you back or drag you down
I'm going to close my eyes and turn around
And walk out hard
Because I can't deal with what I think you are
Wasn't that you last night at the gay bar
~~~Kill Jerry Garcia~~~
I'm not gonna choke on your hard sell media dope
I'm not going out like that
I don't want to hear about the summer of love
I'm not going back in time
I don't want to even let love rule
I want to break the back of brotherly love
I don't want to go back in time
I wanna kill Jerry Garcia!
I wanna take the past and throw it away
I want to burn the bridge between then and now
I'm not going back in time
I wanna kill Jerry Garcia!
I don't want to sew the seeds of love
I want to punch Marty Balin in his eye
I don't wanna go back in time
I wanna kill Jerry Garcia!
(Man, I don't have a quarter, leave me alone)
Don't want no Dead blood on my hands
I wanna shake the flesh and bone
I don't wanna kill the myth
I wanna kill Jerry Garcia!
I wanna kick that skeleton in his teeth
I'd wanna kick Pigpen if he were alive
I don't want to go back in time
I want to kill Jerry Garcia!
Kill Jerry... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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