Hash #289

Hey Peeps,

Got another hash review hot off the press! ImA, here helping out BOG whose courageously and fearlessly saving the lives of all four-legged critters inhabiting the Thumb area. Beware!! A wolverine was spotted in that are just a few weeks ago. I wonder if BOG has ever castrated a wolverine? Hmmmmmm?………..oh well, were was I? Oh yes! The hash. Were you there last Saturday? If not, here’s how it went…….

Cold!!! Christ, it had to be 20 fricken degrees out! Where was that 50-degree weather we had earlier in the week? Nevertheless, through rain, sleet, wind, snow, you name it, nothing will stop the hash! We started at Bangor Medical dressed in our gloves, winter jackets and hats that we were so willing to store away in light of spring approaching. Our hares, “Me like Em Chubby,” and “Chunk Chugger” were to lead the beer-thirsty pack of hounds on today’s hash. The trail took us through State Park and eventually into the campground. The campground looked liked an excavation site with piles of sand, bulldozers, and lots of MUD!! I was in the middle of the pack, trying desperately to reach the front. As we entered the woods, I heard cries coming from Whordita. cum. At last, fornication on trail!! Sadly, they were not cries of pleasure. They were cries of dismay as the biggest pool of water surrounded us as far as the eye could see. We got SHIGGY!! The water had a very thin layer of ice, and there was no question as to where true trail was. Hash was laid across the pool of water straight to the other side.

I thought to myself, “ImA, this is your chance, you must be the first to go across!” I held the hash flag tightly, yelled, “On-On,” and off I went into the frigid water. “Damn….this water’s cold!” I thought as I pursued through the knee-deep water.

“We are hashers! Mighty, mighty hashers! Carry big rifles! Itty-bitty bullets! We are strong!

Finally, I reached dry land and realized that I couldn’t feel my legs or feet. But wait……what’s that ahead? BEER!! There is was sitting on dry land surrounded by water….again. Oh well, what the hell, back in the water I go with Whordita close behind me. As we stood there, on our little island, we heard the sounds of sloshing shoes and were quickly joined by our other hashers. But wait, who’s coming from the other direction of the water? Bloodly Anal Probe! He had found a way around the water hazard…….that Bastard! He even found a way to the beer check by stepping on tree limbs without getting wet. This guy is good! Not far behind, there were others who had followed BAP to dry ground and were soon at the beer check. Some were not as successful as BAP and ended up with wet shoes! HA HA!

After we had quenched our thirsts with beer, those with wet shoes simply went back into the water and across to dry land. Those with dry shoes, thought, “Hmmmmm, how am we going to do this!” A small tree nearby quickly turned into a pole vault stick as many tried “pole vaulting across. Some were successful, others not. I think our pole-vaulting award goes to WOWO for the best pole-vaulting attempt. No points awarded for his style.

Off we were again. Trail soon led us out to State park drive and to the Northern Bar for the On-Inn. Was that new bar maid sexy or what? Most of the guys thought so! Chubby, why were you spending so much time at the bar? And what’s a GM gotta do to get a beer around here?? Question for our BEER MEISTER. How do you expect your GM to do circle and traditions without a beer to drink? Not to mention, during circle as I reached for my beer…….GONE!! STOLEN!!! Whining? What whining? Nobody’s whining. I just want to be like everyone else…..intoxicated! Please remember your GM gets better, the more beer he drinks! With that being said, circle went as follows…….

Circle went as follows:

Welcome back: I.G.A.

Hares: Me Like Em Chubby, Chunk Chugger

Whordita.cum, DFL: SMF

Stupid Mother Fucker (BOG had found his “son” in Las Vegas and brought him back)

Time Runners: Dirty Sanchez 30, Betty Cocker 2000 WOW!!, and BOG 110.

Hash shit: 2 Hos for having bad hair, Whordita cleansed it for Chewbacca (last week’s nominee)

Special Down-Down: IGA Birthday in Feb.

Announcements: St. Pat’s day hash 3-21-04 meeting at Tousan Jack’s at 9:30 am

On-On

ImA

(SSDD – Same Shit Different Day)