MY TESTIMONY

I can always remember loving God!

I grew up in a small growing mid-Michigan town. Mom and Dad built their own home in a rural subdivision about a mile from town. My Mom was the prettiest woman I knew; and my Dad was tall, strong and very handsome. My older sister made me mad a lot and my two younger brothers and I played and fought together as all siblings do. I guess I was a bit of a tom-boy, but being the middle kid is hard!

My sister and I attended a Catholic school. Mom and Dad were very faithful to church and were very family-oriented. We always ate together as a family, went to church together, and usually had some type of outing after church on Sundays. Ahhhh - family!

I attended church every morning before school. It was required. I had nuns for teachers! We learned to memorize everything from the glossary in our geography books to the entire religion book. We had spell-downs on questions the nuns would make up out of religion books, and I always wanted to do my best at whatever I did.

Tuition went up at school as of 5th grade, so we transferred to the public schools. I was so far ahead of the kids in school I became bored, so I worked with the children in the next grade up--also in our classroom. As I got older, I realized the town we lived in was a social town full of cliques. I was a chunky child and kids picked on me which made me turn inward. I read and learned and got straight A's in school. I also became more interested in God and tried to read our family Bible, but it was a bit too much for me. My childhood trials helped me realize God was there for me and that there was something special between us. I had loved Him since I could remember, but He seemed so far off and hard to understand. Mom says there was always something about God and me . . . even has pictures not taken with a flash where there is a glow over my head.

Couldn't wait to get out of school and out of that town. Didn't realize I was leaving my family behind though. That's where my troubles began. I also left God behind me!

I began going to clubs with friends. I got a good job working for a group of lawyers. It was high class, but again, I wasn't. I met a guy and fell in love with falling in love. He came from a large Catholic family so we had a lot of the same morals, etc., but he didn't have much experience in the work force. My family had since moved north, so we decided to get married and move up north near my family. Hubby couldn't find a job and things began to steadily go down hill for us. I worked two jobs and ran a business on weekends. We had no children so the break-up was a handshake and "let's stay friends!" I went on with life and right back to the clubs! Little did I know that I was about to embark on the biggest mistake of my life as well as the biggest "find" in my life--both at the same time! How could that be?

I met this guy one night and we got to know each other for awhile. After I was hooked on him, I found he was into drugs, alcohol, stealing, and was trying to finish college. He had no job and loved to party. I was always drawn to the "needy" type, so he knew how to manipulate me and make me feel very special. At this time, I was the legal secretary on the campus where he went to school.

One day he asked me to come with him after class. We were living together at this time and drove 35 miles to work and school. He had been sitting in the student union cafeteria and two guys walked up to him. One he knew was a drug addict and wanted him to go to a party with him The other was a christian and just asked him what he was thinking about at the time. He told the christian he was thinking about what he was going to steal next. The christian asked him if he would go with him, so he did. They got into his car and went to a little church off campus. No one else was there. They went in and the guy asked him if he would pray with him--told him that God wanted to give him power in his life. He did. Within moments, he was speaking in another language. Then the christian opened the Bible and showed him that he had received the Holy Ghost evidenced by speaking in other tongues. Needless to say, when he met me after class, he was a changed person! I didn't trust what had happened and thru a long series of visiting the church and talking to pastors, we began to go to church together with the intention of getting married. I wanted him to finish school and get a job first. God fixed that and in three days he had a job; his professors agreed to let him do independent studies so he could graduate. I flipped. I then began to have dreams that troubled my spirit and even saw some miraculous things. Then I got very serious about the Bible. Believe me, I was the world's biggest skeptic and a very logical thinker, but logic and skepticism don't work around God. I began to search the scriptures. Was this real? Did God love me that much? Was this for me? I found my answers!

We married, and at first things were great. We were really into God and really growing.

One day while at work, my face became numb on one side. I went to the doctor and was told I had Belles Paulsey which is a virus with no known cure. I was in my early 20's and had lost weight and finally felt I looked nice. This devastated me! I turn to God and get this???? Sunday morning I was up and at the church at 6 a.m. on my face praying. Every other day I had to go to the doctor and get an injection. They were trying to stop the underlying cause of the disease. First a shot in one arm--next time the other arm. I began to have reactions to the shots with swelling and large lumps. Then they started on the hips and changed the medicine. Nothing helped and things seemed to get worse. My face was totally paralyzed on one side. I could move my jaw, but that was it! I couldn't even blink my eye. When I would open my mouth to eat or drink, the bones moved, but not the lips and skin. I would bite my mouth constantly and liquids ran right back out when I drank. I would use my own finger to blink my eye so the socket would not dry out. Pain shot thru my entire face all day, and it felt like someone had wired my mouth all around the opening and was pulling the wire tighter all the time! You know, we never realize how many times a day we blink an eye! We take so much for granted!

When I went to the pastor with this, he said they would pray. There were some others who were having problems at church, so he called a three-day fast. Fasting began on Friday and was to end Sunday night. It was hard--medicine made me sick and I was in bed most of the weekend, but I didn't break. I drank a glass of water on the third day to stop the cramping. Sunday we went to church. Nothing had changed--I felt very let down! After church, we all went to dinner at a local restaurant. I had a terrible time eating in front of people and wanted to go home, but we stayed and went to service Sunday night. Monday morning rolled around--went to work--felt kinda funny. Had a doctor's appointment on my lunch hour. By the time I reached the doctor's office, I felt numbness leaving my face. Tension around my mouth was gone. I could even half smile! When I walked into his office, the nurse said "You're smiling!!!" She ran and got the docor, pulled him into the room and said, "Look - she's smiling!" I was very young in the Lord and didn't know how to tell the doctor what I had done, but in my heart, I knew I was healed by Almighty God! That was my last visit to the doctor for Belle's Paulsey! You see, with God, all things are possible!

We remained at this church for three years. The pastor was a wonderful man of God! God used us to bring many young couples into the church. The pastor's wife had come from a "holiness" church background and put pressure on her husband to bring in legalism on clothing, hair, etc., and the church split down the middle.

From the time we left the little church till the time we started the church in our home town, we visited a local church. Since I was healed of Belle's Paulsey, I also started talking to God about a condition I had had since I was in the 4th grade. I had gone ice skating with some friends and fell on the ice. I did something to my tailbone and it swelled up. Mind you, I was only about 10 years old. I was now in my early 30's. For years I carried this "thing" on my tailbone and never went to a doctor. It would go down a little sometimes then get very large at other times. After I married Dave and was going to church, it began to get worse. I couldn't sit on it and was forced to sit on the back side of my hip and then change to he other hip. It felt as if my back was a rubber band stretched to max tension. Then it would swell up, and it finally broke a hole in the skin the size of a dime at the end of my tailbone.   It would bleed and other gross material would discharge from it. I started to talk to Jesus seriously about this and claim HIs Word for healing. I had been taught not to ask many times, but to ask once and believe. I stood in faith for three years about this.

While attending the church we were visiting, the pastor asked if anyone needed prayer. I felt led to go up for prayer. When I got up to the front, the pastor asked me to go to the microphone and tell the congregation what I wanted prayer for (he did this only to me!). I was so embarrassed, I must have turned three shades of purple, but I did as he said out of obedience. Then he prayed for me. I got so excited because it left my body for two whole weeks. Then it was back! Grrrrr!

Well, this pastor had spoken of a friend of his that was not in ministry but had a gift of healing and that he was coming the next Sunday to visit the church. We went! I watched as a neighbor took her son up. He was almost totally deaf - 90 per cent in both ears! He prayed for the boy and he could hear! I was so blessed I began to weep. I knew these people and this was very real. Row upon row of people went up for prayer. I sat and observed, weeping and praising God! Then I felt I should go up. I said to God quietly, "But I've already asked you!" Still I found myself at the very end of the very last row going up. This man and the pastor started praying at the right hand side of the room and proceeded to the left. I was the last person on the left. So, I raised my hands and was talking to the Lord quietly - I remember saying to the Lord, "Please don't make me say this outloud again--it's so embarrassing!" Just then I opened my eyes, the pastor and this gentleman were in front of me and they were laughing--they had started to pray at the other end of the line--stopped and came to me! I felt like I was in a fog, but continued to close my eyes and cry--thinking to myself "why are they laughing at me?"!!! Well, they weren't laughing at me! The gentleman spoke directly to me and he said, "You don't have to ask Him again, He already knows!" He touched me with one finger, and down I went in the Spirit!!! I know I was there for over 20 minutes, but it seemed like a second in time. I got up, went to my seat, and sat quietly. I didn't say anything to anyone. I went directly home and upstairs to check it out--my back felt loose, as if someone had cut the rubberband that was so stretched to the max!!! It was gone---gone!!!! I waited on God and didn't say anything for awhile till I was sure. It's amazing, I have a scar about the size of a dime there! Praise the Lord! He healed me miraculously. Thank you, Jesus. It's our faith, combined with His Word that brings God's healing touch to our bodies!

At this time, Dave decided he was called into the ministry, so we sat under a preacher until he felt Dave was ready and opened our own little church in the town we lived in. It grew. Neither Dave or I wanted children when we married, and for some reason he changed his mind. We both had full-time jobs and were running the church also. I was in my early 30's and didn't really want to start having children then.

We decided to be foster parents and then to adopt if it was for us. I took a year's leave of absence from work, started a business at home, and became a foster mom. Right away, we were confronted with a 3-year old little girl who would possibly be up for adoption. We jumped - knowing it was God. This was a horrifying experience with many learning lessons, but to make matters worse, we took on a 9 yr. old girl and her half brother who was 7. Things were okay for a while. Then the stress of it all hit us. It certainly was not God's will at the time and it all fell apart!

Things quickly went from bad to worse. We separated and then got back together. The boy had been placed into another home to stop some problems between his half-sister and him. Dave ended up going back into worldly behaviour and drinking. Eventually he got transferred to a town 70 miles away on his job. The marriage ended with me having a nervous breakdown and the children ended up in foster care. It was a long and painful tale that is not something I wish to drag up, but I learned so much through all of this. It taught me compassion; it taught me how to look at the reasons people do things they do and to draw closer to Jesus!

When Dave left, I had a huge mess to straigten out--relationships, children, household, job, children, etc. I grieved for about eight months and wouldn't leave the house. I had anxiety attacks and couldn't sleep. Many times I would find myself rocking in a chair, clutching my Bible, crying and talking to God. When it finally came time that I felt was ready to venture out, I was really scared. It took awhile to get used to things all over again. Then it happened! I met Dan!

Dan and I became friends and found we were experiencing a lot of the same problems in life, so we helped each other thru it. I certainly did not want a relationship at this time! He didn't either, so we were just good friends! We ended up moving north and got married. To make a long story short, God has restored everything that was lost. Things were going relatively well, then I got sick!

I have raised and sold exotic birds for quite some time. Prevously, I was a legal secretary for 16 years and hated it. I decided to start a business in my home after adopting my first daughter, and that's what I did. After I met Dan and we moved, I worked for about a year and then got very sick. At first it was as a result of clipping birds wings and beaks which I did a lot. It started with allergic reactions and that worked its way into nightly asthma attacks and then into severe gastritis. I was so ill that I couldn't get up to use the restroom. I survived three months on cream of wheat. My body became weaker and weaker. I was in a bit of a backslidden state at this time and this is where God began to speak to me. I couldn't sleep and stayed up at night watching Christian TV. God started speaking to me thru ministers on TV. Three different ones in one night spoke the exact same thing pointing right at the screen! You may take this as coincidence, but I didn't. Things began to happen. I put an ad in the paper in another town for some birds for sale. A lady answered my ad and started talking about God. She drove to my house, brought me boxes of books, tapes, etc. I spent night and day reading and listening and building my faith back up. To make a long story short, God restored my health and gave me a gift to sing. I am not a professional, nor do I have a professional voice, but I use it for Him and His glory. I could hardly breathe before, let alone sing, and I give God the glory. Dan now plays the guitar and although we haven't gotten it together yet, we are sure the Lord will grant that also. You see, all things work together for the good of them that luv the Lord and are the called according to His purpose.

I have learned so much by these experiences. No . . . they definitely were not fun to go thru, but somehow they have brought me closer to the Lord - in understanding more of his suffering for us, giving me compassion for others who are hurting, and also the faith to know that God is able to do exceedingly abundanly above all that we could ever ask or think. You just have to give Him the opportunity to prove Himself to you and He will. He loves us so very much.

My heart's desire is to be a servant and be in the center of His perfect will for my life. Please pray for me that I will walk in the steps that He has ordered for me. God Bless you!

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