3-2-1 Contact

I currently wear glasses. My mother wants me to get contacts. She feels it will boost my self-esteem by making me more attractive, and improve my overall self-image. This is faulty logic in numerous ways:

1. I have already had contacts, and hated them. When I was twelve, Mom got me a pair. They were uncomfortable, and I kept losing them.

2. Contacts are more expensive to maintain than glasses. My current pair of glasses cost $300, which seems like a lot, but I bought them when I was fifteen, only occasionally upgrading the lens strength. They’ve served perfectly well for five years, and considering what I would have gone through in contacts, I think they’re worth the price tag. Contacts, on the other hand, wear out fairly quickly, even if you’re not constantly losing them (which I inevitably did).

3. Contacts are more difficult to maintain than glasses. This is not the same as expensive. I mean that they require constant attention and delicate storage: constantly putting drops in your eyes, taking them in and out, making sure you don’t wear them too long and, ironically, alternating to glasses occasionally, keeping them in a cool dry place, etc etc etc. With glasses it’s just whip ‘em off, and make sure to sit them lens-up. If they get dirty, it’s nothing a little soap and water can’t fix.

4. Contacts are just plain uncomfortable as hell. I don’t particularly relish the idea of sticking my finger into my eye twice daily to remove a thin piece of film. And since it’s my body, I should have the right to that choice. I don’t want to suffer with red, itchy eyes and possibly deal with removing a contact stuck under my eyelid, for some idea of beauty.

5. I don’t have issues with my self-esteem that relate to my appearance. I think I’m a fairly decent-looking slice of humanity (I’ve had strangers compare me to Audrey Hepburn, so I can’t be that bad-looking), and I make a reasonable attempt to be well-groomed. All of my insecurities and issues are related to my poor social skills and inability to pick up social cues. Wearing contacts would not magically enable me to read people better.

6. I’m paranoid about having to touch my eyes, least of all my pupils. During my last optometry check-up, I mentioned this to the optometrist when Mom hopefully brought up the subject of glasses, and the doctor told her to her face that I was a poor candidate for contacts. She still won’t accept this as an excuse. “Oh, you’d get used to them...it’s a silly excuse anyway.”

Mom’s problem is, she used to wear glasses until she was 16 or so, and until that time her self-esteem was connected to her appearance (actually, it still is, and she still attempts to ingrain this concept into me and my sister). Then she got contacts, and according to her, half the boys in her high school asked her out and she was a raving beauty. When I got my contacts, I did not experience this effect. Not to mention I’m a fairly hostile person naturally anyway, so even if obtaining contacts turned me into Heather Locklear overnight, I’d still be rather surly and truculent. In her youth Mom was one of those skinny blonde beach babes who spent half her time prancing around in bikinis in the California sun. Okay, I exaggerate, but Mom was an attractive person who spent a lot of time on her appearance. I’m far lower maintainence with brown hair, a pale complexion, and proportionately short legs. In other words, I’m not her.

She doesn’t seem to get the idea that I don’t want contacts. Every time she brings up the subject, I give her a lengthy list of perfectly good reasons why I don’t want--and shouldn’t have--contacts. Her sole arguement? “But it would make me so happy.” I don’t want to spend a lot of money and be physically uncomfortable--which I know would be the outcome, because I’ve already had contacts--just to give her personal satisfaction. I think the reason that I simply don’t want to, and I’m a legal adult who can do whatever she wants, plus it’s my body and my money, is good enough. Her arguement is literally, she’s done so much for me all my life that I owe it to her to get contacts. If anything, she should be happy I’m sticking with glasses...they’re less costly and therefore less of a financial drain.