Apathy was the Sister of Global Indifference, and was quite proud of the role she played in the universe, spreading a quiet sense of depression and worthlessness among the people. Wherever she travelled, productivity dropped to near-exinction and the citizens took to their beds and corner bars, taking comfort in nothing with no clear explanation. She also claimed responsibility for the rapidly decreasing environment, as people never bothered recycling or taking steps at fixing the ozone layer. Why should they, after all? It could never get any better.
Calamity was the drama queen of the trio, and liked to cause massive tragedy. All manner of natural disasters, political uprisings, social turmoil, and assassinations happened at the behest of the Sister of Catastrophe and Mayhem. She was particularly satisfied with the period referred to as the Common Era 1960s , and claimed that as a definining moment in the tragic history of humanity.
Misery, however, was perhaps the most insidious of them all. Apathy and Calamity were content merely to inflict outer turmoil and destruction. Misery set her sights a wee higher: to infect each and every individual being with utter despondance and self-loathing, and thus end their pointless existences. She was out to spread total oblivion, for a very odd reason: She liked peace and quiet. Oblivion of the universe was the only way to acheive absolute quietude.
Her sisters pointed out the flaw in her logic: If she acheived the oblivion she so desired, then her purpose would cease to exist. She, herself, would be redundant, and would cease to exist.
Misery didn’t care. If she had to acheive peace through the complete annihilation of existence, then so be it. At least she wouldn’t have to listen to country music anymore.
So she got up one bright sunshiney morning, ate a good breakfast of Pop-Tarts and goat’s milk (she would miss Pop-Tarts, she reflected), and set to work at the Undoing of All Things. She was quite successful. Thunder melted the heavens, the sky turned pitch black, crops withered, the sea boiled, moon turning into blood, all that good apocalypse-type stuff.
Looking out at the chaos and ruin, she smiled in satisfaction.
“Behold,” she cried out, eyes blazing with terrible beauty, “I am the Sister of Utter Destruction, highest of all daughters of Void.”
The sisters were puzzled. “Where did you get the Ultimate Power of Destruction, if we are all equal?” Calamity pointed out.
“Yeah,” Apathy agreed. “You’re negating the very first paragraph. This entire plot is impossible.”
“That can’t be,” Misery replied, skimming the story. “Huh. Well, I’ll be darned.”
This conundrum had them stumped. “I suppose it’s time this charade ended,” Apathy finally said.
“Umm, aren’t we forgetting a teensy thing?” said Calamity. “We’re kinda the linchpin of the universe. Everything we say or do is eventually Truth. If we’re proven wrong, the universe collapses upon itsel-