Now you've got to understand: I have no problem with bisexuality, homosexuality, or anything in between. I'm extremely supportive of gay rights and gay marriage, and am good friends with many gays and lesbians and bisexuals. But I do have a problem with the double standard of bisexual women, and male partners who "allow" them to see other women. For starters, we know it's all a crock of shit, a pure excuse for male fantasy. They're dating a girl who screws girls! How cool is that! So it's not generosity...if she actually dumped this guy for another girl, he would feel completely emasculated and inferior, a substandard excuse for a Y-chromosome, not to mention that this imaginary privilege certainly does not extend to other guys. Why on earth would any self-respecting girl allow anyone to use her in such a gratuitous manner?
I'm asking this question, because recently I was hit upon (via IM) by a rather illiterate 16-year old bisexual girl. She did the usual age/sex/location spiel, so I told her all my information could be obtained from my profile. In turn, I took a gander at her profile. It mentioned that she was taken, so I asked her why she was attempting to chat up other people (gender neutral) when she was in a relationship. She replied that her boyfriend allowed her to see other girls. I asked if the standard also applied to other guys, or if he was allowed to see other boys or girls as well. She somehow took offense to this, and blocked me. I guess I hit a nerve.
Now, I have no problem with the theoretical concept of "open" relationships (not personally, but with other people). However, this openness has to be completely democratic. None of this macho "you can see other girls cause lesbians are sexy, but you can't see other boys" crap, and certainly none of the hypocrisy involved in one partner allowed to date outside of the relationship, but the other has to remain faithful. If you start a so-called "open" relationship, then you have to be fair and accept that if such a situation continues, your partner may very well leave you for another person. That's why you never allow yourself to be involved in affairs...if you're with someone who's cheating on their parter with you, don't think for one second that you're immune to the very same thing. You're no different from the last person they cheated on.
I personally am a big fan of monogamy, because I believe in the concept of soulmates, and I kinda doubt that it's possible to have more than one soulmate (although I understand there are people out there who have acheived happiness, their partner dies, and they have a happy second marriage. More power to them). If you personally don't abide by this concept, that's perfectly fine. Just don't complain when you permit multiple partners in your relationship, and suddenly you're left in the cold. And if you're bisexual, and you're dating someone of one gender, and become interested in someone of another gender, try to at least make a clean break of the first relationship before becoming involved with another person. Hell, that rule applies to heterosexual people as well.
Nothing pisses me off more than hypocrisy, especially when that hypocrisy is applied at the expense of another human being. I've seen a lot of girls who identify as bisexual purely for the sex appeal; it's used as a tool to get boys. It's sad when you attempt to change your gender identity and sexual orientation merely for the intent of manipulating others into liking you. Another thing that pisses me off is when girls who are already in a relationship with a guy, advertise that they want a girlfriend. For starters, this must be a horrible blow to their boyfriends' egos, to think that they're not sufficient, so their partner must go seek out the companionship of others. For another, they're already in a monogamous relationship. Isn't the purpose of a monogamous relationship to eventually get married to a single person? Because most people don't just date for the purpose of dating...that's rather depressing. I should hope that they’re seeking a purpose to their life (granted, anyone who thinks they need to achieve personal happiness through the love of another is pretty low in the self-esteem department, but it's not my place).
The problem with the bisexuality double standard is, it doesn't apply to heterosexual relationships. Does that mean the male partner is allowed, or even expected, to see other guys? Is the female bisexual partern expected to see other women, or is she allowed to be monogamous? Why is there the stereotype of bisexuals (of either gender) constantly being lascivious, as though a single gender isn't enough to satisfy them? Not being bisexual myself, I'm a bit puzzled as to this archetype.
I realize that every relationship is different, but this pattern seems to crop up a lot, with the straight man involved with a bisexual woman, who "permits" her to see other women. Yet it's never mentioned if she's allowed to see other men as well. It's just confusing and sexist as hell, and I may ask a bona fide bisexual person about that one of these days (I just hope they won't get offended by it!).