Yesterday--at least I think it was yesterday, it could have been the day before, or even a few days ago...but let’s just go with yesterday, ok?--I learned empathy.
It was new. Now before you go calling me heartless and cold, saying I should have learned empathy before...this was new. I’m not sure if it existed before now. Or maybe it did, in another form. Maybe all feelings are brand-new, because all the people who feel now are just around today, and all the old feelings are gone, have been used up like Kleenex, so there have to be new feelings created. But anyway. I was sitting around, listening to people talk, and suddenly, I knew where they were coming from. I knew the reasons why they talked the way they did, speech patterns, and the motivation behind their replies. And I could understand them. And I felt empathy.
I know, it sounds very obstruse. But it was real, like the Velveteen Rabbit or something, because I was thinking it, and thoughts are real, right? So there I was, having this epiphany while they were talking about bowling, and I understood why they gave the replies they did, the reasons behind words. And it felt great. And I told them, and they looked very confused. I did a good job of explaining it (I hope), but they still don’t understand. This is why I have to be somebody. Then they will understand, won’t they? I have to make my mark. Then everyone will know me, and understand, and I will never have to repeat myself.
I sound conceited, don’t I? Very well. I’ll try to explain. Everyone, on some level feels the same. And everyone on some level feels different. But they can’t get together because of self-image. And this creates competition. But when I tell them, when I explain why they feel the way they do, then they will know. They will understand me. And I will never have to explain myself again. I feel very alone with my ideas all the time. I have all these amazing, brilliant ideas, only I can’t explain them, then two minutes later I forget about them. But I won’t forget empathy (that was the original topic, you know). Empathy will stay with me, forever. Because I want it to. I need it to.
What if you could achieve personal illumination before physical comfort and social skills? What if you skipped the stages in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and went directly to the final stage? I mean, the stages aren’t necessary--only traditional, and comfortable. They’re just a suggsestion as to how the world works...a theory. Well, I’m proposing my own theory. Perhaps those we call mad aren’t truly what we think; they’ve simply acheived the stages in the “wrong” order, and have no way to cope, because they lack the proper skills (manifest as stages in the Hierarchy) to deal with enlightenment. And so it drives them mad. They get ideas, brilliant, world-shattering ideas, but they can’t explain them properly or follow them through. Since they are incapable of expressing their ideas in a constructive manner, they are dismissed, ignored, or derided for the thoughts they do express.
Anyway. Now for my general theory about life. I believe everything everyone does is for the benifit of their self-image (that is, the opinion they have both of their personality and their position in life, which is generally affected by the opinions of others). If they see themselves in a positive or a negative light, they will behave according to that self-image, and strongly resist any concept that challenges this self-image, often behaving in a self-destructive manner, for the preservation of their ego. The status of the self-image is maintained at any and all cost, and they will destroy themselves (eg., suicide) before they are willing to change this self-image. If an event takes place where their concept of themselves must change, is unavoidable, then it is very, very painful and traumatic to the ego. This explains why adolescence is such a vital time period in everyone’s life.
Also, there is no such thing as a purely selfless act. People will sacrifice and behave charitably because, on some level, they get a boost to the ego and their self-image is strengthened. They will also rarely behave in a manner contrary to their self-image (although that does happen occasionally...I’m not claiming that drastic change of the self-image is completely impossible, just very rare, and difficult to acheive). Instead they persue the same destructive patterns throughout the course of their lives. You can only go so far in a revolution before you’re back to where you started. Three-hundred sixty degres...such a vicious circle. The only way to break out of this pattern, is to realize there is no only way. Embrace all ideas. See every point of view, and realize that at any minute, every second, they could all be right and they could all be wrong. Accept that. Change constantly. Don’t intellectualize change, realize it in a visceral manner. Think often, and vocalize your thoughts to others...who knows, they may have new ideas (not better ones, mind you, but new ones) that will be helpful in changing your persepctive. Of course, by falling into change you may just be creating a new self-image by altering the old one (although just that alteration can be significant), but the point is continuous self-improvement, and accumulation of knowledge.
Life is like looking through parallel mirrors...no matter which you choose, the image just keeps repeating itself, though it will change in size and position. And there are many contradictory layers in those mirrors, so that it is impossible to tell what is the image of what...it goes on forever, depending on the angle. As soon as you have one idea nailed down, another pops up, and builds on it, and you forget the original idea, becoming distracted by the shiny new one. It becomes impossible to sort through them all, with so many contradictory opinions, so you become confused and upset. The only way out is to break the mirror, and shatter your old self-image. It is not a particularly comfortable idea, or even a stable one, but it’s an excellent way to adjust to life.
The meaning of life is change. Endless, constant, unrelenting change. History has proved this time and time again. We only think that things stay the same, but the continuous evolution of the human race is proof positive (if proof you need) of this tradition of change. Anyone who thinks otherwise is merely contributing to the expansion and variation of thought, so they are supporting my theory even while deriding it.
I look around every day, and see myself constantly bombarded by images of happiness, suggesting that life is about persuing the optimum level of comfort, and that if we are not completely happy and content for 99.9% of our lives, something must be terribly wrong. The culture of America suggests that life should be devoted to “the pursuit of happiness”--indeed, our very Constitution is founded on that belief--and to attain that happiness is the highest goal to which one can aspire. Unhappiness is a strange, alien emotion, to be avoided whenever possible, and the idea that someone may spend their whole life floundering in such a state, is a subject of much fascination and dissent (thus the advent of talk shows and the labelling of “mood disorders”, many of which have existed for years unnamed, such as social anxiety disorder). We are encouraged in this mode of thinking by the media, which presents life in a bubble--beautiful, filmy, with a thin veneer, lighter than air, and easily destroyed. We are lead to believe that happiness can--and should--only be attained with the right clothes, cars, televisions, and alcoholic products. Whatever happened to the idea of “life is suffering”, and the nobility of such a concept? No wonder suicide is employed so often. This “all or nothing” mentality is destroying our society; people believe that if they cannot attain perfection and comfort, that life should be easy, and they become frustrated with the daily struggle, with the inevitable. They do not see that failure is an option, even a distinct possibility. They believe if their life is not happy (or at least if such happiness is not easily obtained) and free from worry, then it is not worth living. Expectations of this nature breed pessimism and despair.
I was just reading The Portable Jung (yes, this is my idea of light reading), and he makes a very interesting observation that I believe can be expanded upon. He states that all human beings wish, in some way, to remain children, with the unconsciousness that that entails, the emphasis on self-gratification, on seeing the world in black-and-white. I came to the realization that these traits can also be found in villains.
The appeal of villainy in folklore and culture relies on our own desire to revert to the childish state. Villains are entirely self-serving, with no thought beyond the moment. They are interested in the accumulation of power, and like children, for them it is all or nothing. They cannot see shades of grey. We like villains because they represent the blindly self-driven, unconscious state that we all subconsciously wish to return to.
The real problem with life is, I’m always wanting the answer to that elusive question “Why?” It’s the ultimate conundrum, one that can never be answered, because the moment you let up with one “Why?” a second one begins, and so forth, until you get to that final “Why anything?” that has stumped so many millions of generations. It’s impossible to answer to anyone’s satisfaction. I should like to answer that final “Why?” But of course everyone would like credit for such an accomplishment; I am hardly original. And yet I am; I could find a new way to locate the “Why?”. Life, you see, is not a single, solitary goal to accomplish. It’s more like a patchwork quilt of things, a never-ending design written by solid and watery hands. Perhaps my inquiries are pointless, and perhaps not. I am most likely spouting half-informed drivel...but isn’t that how all theories start? As just an idea, a concept in your head?
I have ideas like that often. I believe in keeping one's mind open to anything and everything (unless it goes against basic morality, ie the concept of murder and the like); the only problem with this is, you constantly don't know which is right and which is wrong, or even if such things exist. It makes it difficult to make decisions.
What is the definition of "thinking in circles"? Why does no one ever want to engage in arguements? I mean, the only way you can ever really learn anything, is by discussing your opinions with other people, and obtaining their points of view, so that you can see everything in a clear, rational manner.
I was just thinking again (gee, isn’t that a surprise), and it concerned the human pysche. Perhaps people aren’t SUPPOSED to have complicated innermost thoughts...this has only been around for the last few thousand years. Originally we were too busy trying to keep from ending up as something else’s dinner to worry over the state of our souls. Once life became (comparitively) easy, we had to come up with something to occupy our lives. So we came up with complex concepts of religion and morality; soon after came modern psychology (a kind of replacement for religion, if you will). In lesser-developed countries, people are too busy worrying about basic survival to diagnose themselves with mood disorders or whatever. It’s only people who live in relative safety and comfort that have the luxury to concern themselves with...well, themselves, and to ponder the different kinds of thinking.
If someone is “one in a million”, and there are six billion people in the world, does that mean that there are merely six thousand exact clones in existence today?