Domestic Violence Information Page

Defining The Problem

In the broadest sense, domestic violence is the abuse of an individual in the same family or household, or with whom the partners have a child in common, and may include abuse of children, siblings, and the elderly. Domestic violence also includes the abuse of an individual in a dating or sexually intimate relationship.

Women are 10 times more likely than men to be victims of violence inflicted by their intimate partners (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1994). Many women receive serious injuries from the men who batter them. More than one million brutalized women seek medical help for injuries caused by battering each year (Stark & Flitcraft, 1982). Domestic violence is often fatal. A Federal Bureau of Investigation report on crime in 1995 found that 26% of all murder victims were known to have been killed by their husbands or boyfriends. Just 3% of male murder victims were known to have been killed by their wives or girlfriends ( Family Violence Prevention Fund, 1997).

The abuse of women can involve physical violence as well as emotional and verbal abuse. The purpose is to exert power and maintain control over the victim. The abuse results in a victim who is terrorized in her own home. Once the abuse begins, it escalates and becomes more frequent, more severe, and more damaging, both physically and emotionally.

In some cases, men are battered by women. The domestic violence programs listed below offer services to any person who is victimized in a relationship. We often use the terms "woman abuse" or "battered women" because the vast majority of victims are women. The only thing to remember is to call your local shelter if you are in need of help.

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Why Is It So Difficult To Leave?

Once caught in the web of an abusive relationship, it is very difficult to escape or change the abusive pattern.

Many battered women do leave abusive relationships, but several obstacles make breaking away difficult. Economic and emotional dependency, lack of work experience, and no support from family or friends are among the main obstacles abused women encounter. Many abused women also lack the necessary information regarding shelters and other available options.

Some abused women often fear the prospect of a much lower standard of living, while others may still love the abuser during nonviolent times. When children are involved, there may be a hesitancy to leave or separate them from a parent considered to be a good father.

Frequently, battered women experience a nagging guilt - often preyed on by others - that they are responsible for keeping the family together at all costs. Some women are immobilized by fear. Many batterers threaten to hunt down their victims in order to maim or kill them. Some batterers are actually more dangerous when faced with the possibility, or reality, of separation from their partners. The threat to hunt down a victim is real. Some abused women know that if they leave, they must never be found if they are to remain safe.

Battered women are true survivors!They have truly persevered through incredibly difficult, often life-threatening, situations.

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Dynamics of Abuse in Families

Sometimes there is a period of calm following the violence. Batterers may beg for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. The woman is given a false sense of hope that things may change. But the cycle continues, and the tension mounts toward another assaultive incident. In some homes the tension is ever- present, and there is no calm period.

The physical injuries inflicted on women are devastating, but the other effects of abuse may be just as harmful. The isolation that most battered women experience is extreme. The batterer is jealous and threatened by relationships the woman has with family and friends. He often finds fault with anyone who is close to the woman, including her female friends. Even though his job may prevent him from being with her constantly, his threats of harm often effectively prevent her from associating with family and friends during hi absence. Working outside the home my be forbidden to here, even though the family needs a second income. If she is allowed to work outside the home, he may still make efforts to control her by driving her to and from work and calling frequently on the phone.

Batterers are skillfully clever at placing blame for abuse directly on their victims. It is simply a matter of time until women begin to feel responsible for the abuse. The result is a profound sense of guilt and shame.

Batterers may feel powerless in the world outside their homes. The one environment where they feel perfectly safe from repercussions is in the home. Some batterers actually believe it is their right and responsibility to "discipline" their partners. Rarely do they see their behavior as abusive, and almost all deny they have a problem.

Batterers frequently blame alcohol or drugs. However, studies indicate that substance abuse is not the reason for violence nor the cause of assaults ( Sonkin, Martin & Walker, 1985; Flanzer, 1984; Walker, 1984; Wright & Popham, 1982). Batterers who discontinue using controlled substances almost always continue to be abusive. Domestic violence and alcohol/substance abuse are separate problems and each requires its own specialized treatment program.

Abusers are frequently manipulative in all their relationships. Many have mastered verbal persuasiveness and are often described as "charming" by others. Outside observers may have difficulty seeing through the batterer's false exterior and refuse to believe the individual is actually physically abusive. This places an additional burden on women who feel the need to "prove" their allegations.

Probabilities are high that batterers were raised in violent homes ( Straus, Gelles & Steinmetz, 1980). Usually, the individual was abused, witnessed violence between parents, or both. Battered women, however, are less likely to come from violent families.

The abuse of women takes its toll on every member of the household. Children growing up in homes where abuse occurs may be confused and feel caught in the middle. Problems may arise such as poor performance in school, aggressive behavior in relationships with peers and family members, and poor self images ( Jaffe & Edelson, 1995).Children may even feel some responsibility for the abuse.

Children who grow up in violent homes are also victims.

Children in families where there is wife abuse suffer higher rates of abuse than in other families ( Layzer, 1986). Some children attempt to protect their mothers. As a result, the child may be injured while "getting in the way" of an assault. Other children may identify with the batterer and become abusive to their mother and siblings.

Even if children are not involved or do not witness the abuse firsthand, they are almost always aware of it. Statistics prove that little hope exists for these children to provide an abuse-free home for their children (Straus, Gelles & Steinmetz, 1980). After all, they are learning early that abuse is a normal part of an adult relationship.

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