Actual unedited doctor's notes on patients
charts~~~~~~
*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her
left side for over a year
*On the 2nd day the knee was better and on
the 3rd day it disappeared completely
*She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
husband states she was very hot in bed last
night
*The patient has been depressed ever since
she started seeing me in 1983
*The patient is tearful and crying
constantly.She also appears to be depressed
*Discharge status: alive but without
permission
*Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male,
mentally alert but forgetful
*The patient refused the autopsy
*The patient has no past history of
suicides
*Patient has left his white blood cells at
another hospital
*Patient's past medical is remarkably
insignificant, with only a 40 pound weight
gain in the past three days
*Patient had waffles for breakfast and
anorexia for lunch
*Between you and me, we ought to be able to
get this lady pregnant
*Since she can't get pregnant with her
husband, I thought you might like to work her
up
*She is numb from her toes down
*While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and
sent home
*The skin was moist and dry
*Occassional, constant, infrequent headaches
*Patient was alert and unresponsive
*Rectal exam revealed a normal-sized thyroid
*She stated that she has been constipated for
most of her life, until she got a divorce
*I saw your patient today, who is still under
our car for physical therapy
*Both breasts are equal and reactive to light
and accomadation
*Exam of the genitalia revealed that he is
circus sized
*The lab test indicated abnormal lover
function
*The patient was to have a bowel resection.
However, he took a job as a stockbroker
instead
*Skin: somewhat pale but present
*The pelvic exam will be done later on the
floor
*Patient was seen in consultation by Dr.Blank
who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I
agree
*Large brown stool ambulating in the hall
*Patient has two teenage children, but no
other abnormalities.............
