You know what a 3-H enema is...
High. Hot, and a Heck of a lot.

You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

You have ever tried to identify what a patient ate
last by examining the barf on your shoes.

You've even basted your Thanksgiving turkey
with a Toomey syringe...

You're at the grocery store, look down and notice you
have at least 2 body fluids on you shoes
and it doesn't bother you at all..

Ever told a confused patient your name was that of your
Coworker and to HOLLER if they need help....

Ever referred to KY jelly as "Goober Grease"

Ever passed the green stuff at the buffet because you are
certain you suctioned it from a patient earlier..

You know it's a full moon without looking at the sky..

You have ever referred to a patient as "genetically exclusive"
or genetically challenged"...

You've developed a crease between your brows from
trying NOT to inhale the various human secretions
you've encountered over the years...

Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is normal...

You believe Tylenol, Advil, or Excedrin provides a large
part of your daily calorie intake requirements.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient,
you aren't sure of the answer yourself..

You've ever pretended to sneeze and at the same time
thrown KY jelly on a Coworkers sleeve to make them think
they got shot with a hocker.

You've ever held a 14-gauge needle over someone's vein
and said, "Now you're going to feel a little bee sting"...

. You've ever sworn you're going to have "NO CODE"
tattooed on your chest...

You refer to motorcyclists as organ donors...

You've ever had a patient with nose ring, a brow ring
and twelve earrings say, " I'm afraid of shots.."

You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they
actually cover their mouth to cough...

You believe that all bleeding stops.. eventually..

You think " awake and stupid" is an appropriate choice
for mental status...

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac..

Discussing dismemberment over a meal
seems perfectly normal...

You believe the government should require a
permit to reproduce...

You refer to vegetable and you don't
mean the food group..

You firmly believe that "too stupid to live"
should be a diagnoses..

You have to leave the patient before you begin to laugh
uncontrollably..

You find humor in people's stupidity.

You believe that 90% of people are
a poor excuse for protoplasm..

Your idea of fine dining is sitting down to eat...