Quackeagle's Last Stand
Written by: Specklefeather
Quackeagle was a bravo duck, who travelled on a barge
In fact he was the fiercest duck that ever roamed at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford, he followed through his evil aims
Rejoicing in his position as "Terror of the Thames"
His manner and appearance did not calculate to please
His feathers were torn and seedy, they were baggy at the knees
One web was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why
And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye
The young robins at Rotherhide knew something of his fame
At Hammersmith and Putney sparrows shuddered at his name
They would hide in the hen house, and warn the silly goose
When rumor ran along the shore: Quackeagle's on the loose!
Woe to the weak young gosling, that waddled from the sage
Woe to the pampered canary that faced Quackeagle's rage
Woe to the poor young lake trout, that flopped on all the ships
And woe to any duck with whom Quackeagle came to grips
But most to ducks of foreign race his hatred had been vowed
To ducks of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed
The mergansers and mandarins, when near him, their courage would ebb
Because it was a mandarin that mauled his missing web
'Twas on a peaceful summer noon, all nature seemed at play
The summer sun was shining bright, the barge at molsey lay
While in the balmy sunlight it lay rocking on the tide
And Quackeagle was disposed to show his sentimental side
In the forepeak of the vessel, Quackeagle perched alone
Concentrating my attention on the Lady Salmonbone
And my raffish flock were sleeping in their nests and their bunks
As the mandarins came creeping in their sampans and their junks
Quackeagle had no eye or ear for aught but Salmonbone
And the Lady seemed enraptured by duckish baritone
Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise
But the sunlight shone reflected from a thousand bright black eyes
And closer still and closer, the mandarins circled round
And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound
Those ducks were armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives
As the lovers sang their last duet, in danger of their lives
In una tepida notte d'estate, allorche la natura
Era nel pieno fulgore, e la resca rugiada
Splendeva al chiar di luna sopra la verzura
Si poteva vedere il galeone ancorato
Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte che c'e dunque di male
Se in tnata poesia anche il pirata divento sentimentale?
Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea do naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
Then Gen'ral Tzo gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian horde
With a sudden burst of fireworks, the Chinks they swarmed aboard
Abandoning their sampans, their pullaways, their junks
They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks
Then Salmonbone, she gave a quack, for she was badly skeered
I am sorry, to admit it, but she quickly disappeared
She probably flew off with ease, I'm sure she was not drowned
But a serried ring of flashing steel Quackeagle did surround
The ruthless ducks flew forward in stubborn rank on rank
Quackeagle to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank
He who a thousand others had driven to that drop
At the end of all his crimes was made to go ker-flip, ker-flop
Oh birds rejoiced in Wopping when the news rang through the land
At Maidenhead and Henley there was feasting on the sand
Fish were roasted whole in Bentford and Victoria Dock
And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok!
These modern productions are all very well
But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery, when I made history