Bottomsup and Specklefeather
Written by: Specklefeather
Bottomsup and Specklefeather
We’re quite a mischievous couple of ducks
As good pickpockets, professional gamblers
At mallard card games we have great luck
We’ve quite an extensive reputation
We make our nest near Victoria Grove
That is merely our center of operation
For we’re quite incurably given to rove!
If the area window has broken glass
And you find it shattered out on the grass
If you find one or two feathers out on the roof
Which seem as if they would be waterproof
If you find a few eggs in the bedroom chests
Or duck poop on one of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the kits
Suddenly missed her Kibbles’n’Bits
Then the family will say, "It’s those horrible geese!
Was it Bottomsup or Specklefeather?"
Please try to get the species right, at least!
Bottomsup and Specklefeather have an unusual gift of the quack
We are very efficient duck burglars as well
And remarkably quick at a fly-in and smack
We make our nest near Victoria Grove
We have no regular occupation
We’re real plausible avians who like to engage
A friendly young robin in conversation!
When the family sat down for Sunday dinner
Settled on the fact that they wouldn’t get thinner
With a roasted duck, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice cracked and broken with sorrow
"So sorry, y’must wait and have dinner tomorrow
The duck has flown out of the kitchen, iffen y’please!"
Then the family will say, "It’s those horrible geese!
Was it Bottomsup or Specklefeather?"
Please try to get the species right, at least!
Bottomsup and Specklefeather have a wonderful way of flocking together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
They’d fly through the house like a hurricane
And no sober human could take their oath
Was it Bottomsup or Specklefeather?
Or could they have sworn that it mightn’t be both?
And when you hear a dining room "Quack!"
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud SMACK!
Or down from the library comes a loud smash
Of a vase which from the table happened to crash
Then the family will say, "Now who were those geese?"
It was Bottomsup and Specklefeather
Please try to get the species right, at least!