MR. MISTOFFELEES

Rum Tum Tugger:
You ought to ask magical Mr. Mistoffelees
The original conjuring cat
There can be no doubt about that
Please, listen to me, and don’t scoff
All his inventions are off his own bat
There’s no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees’ conjuring turn

And we all say
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from the pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He’s always deceiving you into believing
That he’s only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think that it’s merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone!
But you’ll find next week lying out on the lawn

And we all say
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Mistoffelees:
Presto!

All:
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Rum Tum Tugger:
His manner is vague and aloof
And you would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
While he was curled up by the fire
And he’s sometimes been heard by the fire
While he was about on the roof
At least, we all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof
And of his singular magical powers
I’ve known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh! Well, I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

And not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

All:
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
Oh! Well, I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Rum Tum Tugger:
I give you the magical…the marvelous…Mr. Mistoffelees!