Munkustrap:
Jellicle cats meet once a year
On the night we make the Jellicle Choice
And now that the Jellicle Leader is here
Jellicle cats can all rejoice!
Of the awful battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles…together with some account of the participation of the Pugs and the Poms…and the intervention of the Great Rumpus Cat!
The Pekes and the Pollicles, everyone knows
Are proud and implacable passionate foes
It is always the same, wherever one goes
And the Pugs and the Poms, although most people say
That they do not like fighting, yet once, in a way
They now and again join into the fray
And they…
All:
Bark bark bark bark
Bark bark BARK BARK!
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park!
Now, on the occasion of which I shall speak
Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week
(And that’s a long time for a Pol or a Peke)
The big police dog was away from his beat
I don’t know the reason, but most people think
He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink!
And no one at all was about on the street
When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet
They did not advance, or exactly retreat
But they glared at each other, and scraped their hind feet
And they started to…
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer:
Bark bark bark bark
Bark bark BARK BARK!
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park!
And they…
All:
Bark bark bark bark
Bark bark BARK BARK!
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park!
Now the Peke, although people may say what they please
Is no British dog, but a Heathen Chinese
And so all the Pekes, when they heard the uproar
Some came to the window, some came to the door
There was surely a dozen; more likely a score!
And together they started to grumble and wheeze
In their huffery snuffery Heathen Chinese
But a terrible din is what Pollicles like
For your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire type!
Male Cats (as Pollicles):
There are dogs out of every nation
The Irish, the Welsh, and the Dane
The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian
And even from China and Spain
The poodle, the balmy Alsatian
The mastiff who walks on a chain
Munkustrap:
And to those who are frisky and frollicle,
That my meaning be perfectly plain
Male Cats (as Pollicles):
That my name, it is Little Tom Pollicle
And you’d better not do it again!
Munkustrap:
And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters
And ever dogjack of them notable fighters
So they stepped out with their pipers in order
Playing ‘When the Bluebonnets Come Over The Border’
And the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof
But some from the balcony, some from the roof
Joined into the din with a…
All:
Bark bark bark bark
Bark bark BARK BARK!
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park!
All:
Huffery snuffery, huffery snuffery
Huffery snuffery, huffery snuff!
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park!
All:
(barking noises)
Munkustrap:
NOW!
When these bold heroes together assembled
The traffic all stopped and the underground trembled
And some of the neighbors were so much afraid
That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade!
When suddenly up from a small basement flat
Why, who should stalk out…
All:
…but the Great Rumpus Cat!
Munkustrap:
His eyes were like fireballs, fearfully blazing
He gave a great yawn, and his jaws were amazing
And when he looked out through the bars of the area
You never saw anything fiercer (or hairier)
And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning
The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning
He looked to the sky and he gave a great leap
And they, every last one of them, scattered like sheep
And when the police dog returned to his beat
There wasn’t a single one left on the street!
All:
All hail and all bow to the Great Rumpus Cat!
Deuteronomy:
Jellicle cats and dogs all must
Pollicle dogs and cats all must
Like undertakers, come…to…DUST!
Demeter:
Macavity!