(Narration of the above graphic) Back! Back I say! I've got a very sharp stick that I'm going to wave at you in hope that you'll scream like banshis and run away! Beware....or you will become human shish kabobs!
(courtesy of Nicky)
Sex is like playing cards: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand!Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q:How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE .........He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Bizarre Things I've Learned From My Children [Thanks to Michael Parsons for sending in this list.]
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape.
4. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
5. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
6. Certain LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
7. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
8. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
9. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
10. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
11. It will however make cats dizzy.
12. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
13. Dogs make funny faces from PB&J's.
