Forever More
Part 1 - Hope
Chapter Eighteen
During the course of the next six weeks Scott’s relationship with Rebecca and her sons took on another level, that of a very close family friend. He began to accept somehow that they were moving away even though they both knew that it was because of a relationship that had to end. Trying not to alienate them any more he was there offering help and support along the way.
Linda knew that she had won. She also knew that Rebecca was moving away and while she was not happy that Scott was still involved with this woman and her family she put up with it, after all they would be gone soon and Scott had been honest with her about what was going on.
Scott offered to finance a mover for Rebecca. She accepted. He also offered to take the horses when he found that she either had to board or sell them, this to the great joy of the boys who would have been heart broken to loose them.
After Rebecca’s stubborn refusal to let him keep them without accepting her money he came up with the idea of buying them from her, knowing that she could probably use the money and when she was ready she could buy them back and in doing so not feel obligated to him for anything. It was his way of giving her money that she would not have otherwise accepted.
Naturally he overpaid her and in the end mentioned that when she did buy them back he would try not to make a very large profit. That brought a smile to Rebecca’s face and he commented on how long it had been since he had seen one there.
As the days drew nearer to their leaving it became harder and harder to see each other. There was always that underlying force that brought them together and though unspoken, still very much evident in the way that they would sometimes look at one another.
The morning that the moving van arrived was very hectic. Rebecca had never dealt with anything like this before and was amazed at how quickly they packed and loaded her belongings. Rebecca herself was so busy running around and supervising and trying to keep the boys out of everyone’s way that she did not have much of a chance to even think about the inevitable, saying good-bye to Scott.
They had not talked for two days and she had hoped so that he would not just let her leave, but she wasn’t sure if that was what he needed to do. Would it be much easier for both of them not to say good-bye?
Shortly after noon he pulled in. The movers were winding down and taking care of last minute details. Scott had decided not to take the horses until after the boys left. That way they could say good-bye to them there at the house. Corky would be going with them to their new home.
Finally the van closed up and, with directions in, hand pulled out and headed to the new location.
Ethan and Kyle stayed outside getting in the last climbing and hanging on a swing set that they had for several years. Rebecca had gone back inside and stood in the empty living room.
Tears came streaming down her face and she tried to wipe them off as she heard the back screen door shut. She turned slightly to see Scott as he came and stood next to her. He put his arm around her and for the first time in months she held onto him burying her head in his chest and crying.
Finally gaining enough composure Rebecca walked through each room and tried to remember everything, every moment that had happened there. She thought about how she and Jack had first come to this place and she felt such pain in knowing that she was now giving up a part of him too. This had been their home. He had worked so long and hard to provide it for his family. Her heart ached knowing that she was giving that all away.
She walked into her bedroom. Scott stood in the doorway as she turned to him. They both stood looking into each other’s eyes and remembering all the times that they had made love there. The emptiness of the room echoed the emptiness in their hearts. Rebecca was still so much in love with him.
The time had come to go, to say good-bye. Clinging to each other in that room they never wanted to let go.
The boys came in the house and found them. Scott turned his attention to them as he hugged each one and gave short instructions about behaving for their mother and contracting a promise from them to always take care of her adding as he stood, "Because I won’t be there to do it anymore."
It sounded so final and that fact now caused Rebecca’s heart to wrench. But even then as they said their final words Scott knew that someday he would see her again and all he hoped was that she would be happy and try not to remember all the bad times and the hurt that he had brought to them and only remember how much he loved and cared for them all.
Scott continued to stand in the driveway as Rebecca’s car pulled out of the yard and headed down the road and away from the safe and secure world that she had known all her life.
The next month was also very busy as Rebecca and the boys continued to get settled in their new home and community. She tried to put all of her energy into their new life so as not to dwell too much on the loneliness and loss that she was feeling deep inside.
Both boys were enrolled in the local grade school and by the third week of August they started attending classes and making new friends right away. Besides being busy with the house and unpacking, Rebecca would spend her days looking for work and going to interviews.
They joined the church not far up the road from where they lived and she was already starting to meet people through the school. She took a position in the office of another large department store doing roughly the same job that she had done before.
So many new things and events were happening in their lives and when she would lie in the darkness of her room at night she wanted so to share them with the one person with whom she had shared so much of her life that last year.
She had felt the same loss after Jack died. She was having to deal with whatever was handed her. She and her children were facing the world alone again
The weeks after Rebecca had left brought such a great loneliness to Scott also. He would spend hours and hours in his studio writing and it seemed that every song came out the same, love lost and deep regrets.
The renewal of the relationship that he had hoped for with Linda was not happening. He knew that he would miss Becky but had foolishly believed that once she was gone from his life as she had wanted that his feelings for Linda would rekindle. Although they were getting along and all appeared to be going well on the outside he knew that he was masking his deep sorrow and loss through his music.
Many a restless night he longed to hear Becky’s voice if only to know that she and the boys were all right. Would she call him if she really needed him like he had told her to do or was she so happy in her new life and the moments that they had shared faded more and more into the past as every day went by?
Calling information he got the number. Just having it made him feel better. He actually dialed it once and when he heard Rebecca’s voice hung up because he knew that she had wanted it to be that way. She left to start a new life and he was not to be a part of it. Still the sweet sound of her voice in his ear brought a comfort that he held onto for weeks.
Rebecca had gotten out of work at six in the evening and picked the boys up at the home of a lady who she had found to watch them a few hours after school every day. Kyle was seven years old and in the second grade. Ethan had started the fourth grade at the same school as his brother and was now nine years old. They had other boys to play with those few hours that they had to wait every day and being so close to the school yard spent much time there.
That particular evening after picking them up Rebecca drove to the store to buy a few groceries and something to make for supper. Crossing the bridge a little down the road from their home she could see a car in their driveway. Taking the curve nearer the house she saw that it was Scott and he was standing outside leaning against the side of his car.
Ethan and Kyle screamed when they realized who it was. Rebecca could not breath as she choked back the tears welling up in her eyes. He had found them.
The boys were out of the car and on him before she could even turn off the motor. They were hanging on him and talking so fast that he could not make out a word that they were trying to tell him. He kept remarking how much they had grown since he had last seen them.
As Rebecca walked near their eyes met and putting out his arm she slid into his embrace. He kissed her hair and she laid her head onto his chest as the boys continued to jump up an down and talk at the same time. Finally Kyle tried pulling Scott into the house to show him the room of his very own that he was now proudly explaining in detail. Still arm in arm Rebecca and Scott walked up to the back door and went inside. The scene in the house was much the same as both boys dragged him through every room and into the basement showing him everything. Rebecca remained in the kitchen putting the groceries away and enjoyed their happiness and comments as they passed from one room into another.
After things settled down a bit Scott offered to take them all out to dinner wherever that may be. A few moments later the two boys piled into the back seat of his car and acting as tour guides directed him on every road and turn, driving him passed their school and babysitters and some friend’s houses.
Scott commented on how it was a very nice small town and how they seemed to be very happy there. Looking over at Rebecca in the seat next to him he asked, "How about you? Are you happy here?" His voice was soft and caring.
Rebecca never answered before Ethan had another point of interest to show, nearly put out Scott’s eye as he poked a finger in front of his face so he would be sure not to miss it.
They had a very nice meal in the little restaurant in town and only a few times did Scott or Rebecca have to remind the boys to keep their voices down.
Back home they all sat in the living room and watched television together. Scott and Rebecca had no time alone as yet and she had not even asked him how he found them or why he was there. They shared several meaningful glances and she knew that they would have their time. Finally the boys got ready for bed and Scott had to go into each room and spend a few moments with them. Rebecca was sitting on the sofa when he returned and sitting down next to her, still shaking his head, he explained that he had actually missed all of their antics and energy.
The room was quiet now. Rebecca had shut off the television and only one lamp put a soft glow about the room. Leaning over he took her into his arms and once again she felt his lips on hers. She trembled as his tongue traced the inside of her lips and danced across the roof of her mouth. Feeling his arms around her again she was lost in a world that she had fought so hard to escape.
Moments later they began to talk again and it was now Rebecca’s turn to answer all of his many questions about the area, the school and her new job. It felt so good to be able to share them with him.
Scott told about finishing up the tracks for the new solo album and how they were probably going to film a video to release with it sometime that coming fall.
They talked forever it seemed but not once did he offer an explanation as to why he was there. It was only later after Rebecca got up to get them something to drink and he followed her into the kitchen did she have the courage to ask.
"Do you want to tell me why you’re here?" she asked pouring a glass of pop and offering it to him.
They were back in the living room before he spoke. "I’ve just missed you so and wanted to know that you were all right."
He set down his glass and took Rebecca’s from her hand and did the same. Then taking her into his arms again they stood passionately exploring each others features and necks with warm moist lips. Rebecca knew every inch of his body, every curve. She yearned for it and felt herself slipping away as his touch brought those sensations screaming back to her. He ran his strong hands up her thighs pulling her body into his.
They moved back to the sofa and started to talk more. Now his thoughts were more intimate. Just being near her brought back all those feelings in him.
Rebecca could not put out her thoughts any longer. She had been fighting them up till now.
"Where’s Linda?"
He sat silent for a moment running his fingers through his hair. Then taking a deep breath, "She’s at home."
"What are you doing here?" The words trembled from Rebecca’s lips.
After another moment of silence as he held his head in his hands he confessed, "I don’t know."
Rebecca sat as more tears wet her cheeks. They were no better off than before. Nothing had changed. She knew in her heart that she needed him and once again all she had to do was let him in.
He could have lied, but he didn’t.
Rebecca slowly managed to pull her body from the sofa and standing in front of him as he still sat with his face buried in his hands told him that as much as she wanted him to be with her and for whatever reason he felt the same he had to leave.
As hard as it was to say the words she found herself telling him that he could stay the night and sleep on the sofa and then after the boys left for school in the morning he would have to leave.
He was still sitting in silence when she came back and handed him a pillow and blanket. Not even saying goodnight she walked away and into her bedroom shutting the door.
Lying alone and in tears she wanted so badly to feel him next to her. They had never been together at night where he hadn’t held her. Now knowing that he was only a few steps away tortured her. She lay awake most all night crying and she was sure Scott had heard.
Her alarm went off at six-thirty a.m. and Rebecca got up and went into the kitchen to make some coffee. She could see him lying on the pillow that she had given him, still in his clothes. She did not know if he was asleep or not.
She got the boys up and they went into the bathroom and then coming out they found him on the sofa. After Rebecca’s failed attempts to get them to leave him alone he sat up saying that it was all right and they weren’t bothering him.
He got up and went into the bathroom and coming out sat at the table with the boys while they ate their cereal.
Rebecca stayed at the sink washing the same glass over and over and trying not to look in their direction. She never spoke a word.
The boys were again telling him details of school and their friends and asking how their horses were. Then Kyle asked if he would be there when they got home from school.
Rebecca looked down into the dishwater as Scott spoke.
"I don’t think so. I have to go back home today."
Ethan tried to convince him to stay. Maybe they could play baseball when they got home from school.
The tears were now running down Rebecca’s face again and falling into the dishwater to the point where she had to walk passed them and into the bathroom to bury her face in a towel hoping not only to dry her tears but quiet her sobbing.
"Why’s mommy crying?" Kyle asked.
She could hear Scott from the bathroom.
"She’s crying because she doesn’t really want me to leave," he paused, "but I have to."
Rebecca held the towel tighter to her face.
"When you comin’ back?" Kyle asked again..
"I don’t know." Scott answered sadly.
Ethan added, "Maybe you can come back for my open house at school."
Scott didn’t say anything.
Rebecca came out of the bathroom and standing behind them told the boys that they had better hurry and get their things or they would miss the bus. Scott turned to her and asked if it would be all right if he would take them. They jumped at the chance and she agreed. That gave them a few more moments to talk and Rebecca went back into the bathroom to try and pull herself together.
Coming back out she handed them papers and back packs and jackets that they were sure to forget and told them that she would pick them up later after she got out of work. The three of them went out the door and Rebecca went back into her bedroom to dress for work.
She knew that Scott would be coming back to say good-bye. She almost didn’t want him to. Soon he drove in and as he came in the back door she came out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where he was.
"They get there OK?" Her eyes were red and swollen from her tears.
"Yeah." He was so sorry. Once again he had not been able to break the bond that was so strong between them and in doing so only hurt her more. He had used his concern for their well-being to bring him there. But he knew that in his heart it was Becky and his love for her that caused him to seek her out and once again fall under her spell.
He started to say something more and she stopped him. "Scott, don’t say anything. Please." The tears were coming again.
He took her arm and turning her around pulled her close once more. He tried to look into her eyes but she turned away.
Letting her go he turned toward the door and shutting it behind him was gone out of her life once again.
Standing alone in the kitchen and pounding her fist into the counter Rebecca kept repeating through her tears, "Why does he DO this to me?"
He was already driving away when she realized that it was his birthday. He was thirty-three.
