Toms & Queens
A night later, Tugger was sitting backstage of the HotBox, at Hyper’s vanity. Pounce entered.
"Tugger, have you seen Miss Hyper?"
"Huh?"
"I bring a message to her from Munkustrap."
"What’s the message?"
"It’s this way, Munkustrap’s aunt in Pittsburgh was suddenly taken ill with-"
"A rare tropical disease."
"Say, that’s not bad."
"Pounce, where is Munkustrap?"
"The catnip game is still going on."
"Since last night?"
"Big McCavity, being a large loser, does not wish the game to terminate."
"Where is the game."
"Are you looking for some action?"
"No, I’m leaving town tonight, but I do want tot talk to some of the toms. I gave a marker to - well, somebody- and I’d kinda like to clean it up before.."
He slowed down as Hyper walked over.
"I’ll meet you outside." Pounce said, standing up.
"What about Munkustrap’s message?"
"OH! Miss Hyper, Munkustrap is in Pittsburgh with a rare tropical aunt…. Goodbye!" Pounce said as he backed out the door.
"What?! I don’t understand! Tugger, Munkustrap has to be here tonight, we’re eloping, to get married! … is it the catnip game again?"
"You know Munkustrap, why should that surprise you?"
"But he promised to change!"
"Change Change, how come the minute you queens get a tom you like, you take him right in for alterations?"
"What about you toms? Why can you marry cats, like other cats do, and live normal like cats. Have a home with, with wallpaper and bookends!" Hyper sneezed, on the verge of tears.
"Toms like Munkustrap Detroit and -yeah, Tugger Masterson - we don’t belong in a life like that. So when queens like you get mixed up with toms like us, it’s no good. See you in a couple of months."
"Will you see Munkustrap before you go?"
"Maybe.."
"Tell him I never want to speak to him again! -Sneeze- And have him call me here…"
"Why don’t you get another tom?"
"Wait ‘till you fall for somebody! You’ll find out!"
"Yeah…"
Tugger left, sadly, Hyper frowned.
"In other words just from sitting alone at a table reserved for two, a person, can develop the flu. You can bundle her up in her woollies and I mean the warmest brand. You can wrap her in sweaters and coats ‘till it’s more then her frame can stand. If she still gets the feeling she naked from looking at her left hand. A person can develop the flu. Uhg, the flu, a hundred and three point two. So much virus inside that her microscope slide, looks like a day at the zoo! Just from wanting her memories in writing, and a story her folks can be told, a person can develop a cold.."
"Not so fast Cassandra! Not so fast!" Bustopher whined as he and Cassandra marched down Broadway.
"I just want to get away from this whole place. To go some place where- where.."
"All the gamblers are all respectable and well behaved?"
"You saw what happened last night! They gambled, in our mission!"
"And someday they’ll be praying there. Even a tom like Tugger Masterson, he came seeking refuge."
"He came seeking me, did you know that?"
"I knew that the minute he started picking on you Cassandra dear. But I didn’t know you’d get stuck on him."
"The tom I love will NOT be a gambler!"
"But if you love him enough, Cassandra dear,"
"Good evening," Tugger said as he and Pounce walked over. "How goes it with the soul saving? Tonight’s the big meeting, isn’t it?"
"It’s supposed to be, the General is coming."
"The General’s a tough queen eh?"
"Uncle, we’ve got to hurry."
"Miss Cassandra, You’ve forgotten something. But being a gambler I never forget things like this. You hold my marker for twelve gamblers tonight."
"Mr.Masterson, last night the mission was filled with your friends. Let’s say we’re even." Cassandra walked into the mission. Bustopher turned to Tugger.
"If you don’t pay off on that marker, I’ll tell the whole town you’re a dirty welcher."
"Pounce! Where’s the catnip game?"
"Well, Tugger, it’s about a five minutes walk from here."
"Which way?"
"This way," Pounce said, lifting a man hole.
Down in the sewers, the gamblers were all ready to leave, mumbling and whining.
"Wait a minute! Where are you all going? I came here to shoot catnip."
"We’ve had enough!"
"Let’s go home."
"You see, Big McCavity, the toms are slightly fatigued from weariness, having been shooting catnip for quite a while now, namely 24 hours."
"I do not care who is tired. I am out 25lbs, so nobody leaves." McCavity put his paw on his gun.
"Gentletoms, I now begin to see the logic of Big McCavity, it is not that he is a bad loser, it is just that he merely prefers to win, am I right Big McCavity?"
"I will now play on credit. Give me the dice. I’m shooting 2000lbs. And Munkustrap, I’m gonna roll you willy, or nilly. If I lose I will give you my marker."
"And if I lose?"
"You will give him cash." Growltiger said, turning Munkustrap around forcibly.
"Let me hear it from Big McCavity!"
"You will give me cash. Put up your lbs."
"I, I just remembered, I’m eloping tonight. Hyper is waiting for me."
"Get up to 2000lbs."
"Wouldn’t it be more convenient if I just put it right into your pocket?"
"Get it up!" Big McCavity took the dice, and rolled.
"HAH! Eleven, I win."
"That cleans me."
"Now I will play with you guys!"
The gamblers all mumbled.
"Here they are!" Pounce said as he and Tugger climbed into the sewer.
"Good evening, gentletoms." Tugger said.
"Well, fresh blood, you looking for some action?" Big McCavity asked eagerly.
"Not at the moment. I would like to talk to some of you toms."
"We ain’t talking. We’re shooting catnip."
"I am asking for only one minute. It has to do with Miss Cassandra Brown’s Mission."
"Say, who is this guy?" Big McCavity demanded. Growltiger stepped over to him.
"It’s the tom I was telling you - took the mission queen to Havana."
"Look, fellow, you’re slowing up the action around here."
"If you want action," Tugger said smoothly. "would you care to make a small wager on a proposition?"
"What’s the proposition?"
"Am I right-handed, or left-handed?"
"How would I know a thing like that?"
"I’ll give you a clue." Tugger socked Big McCavity with a right. Tossing McCavity’s gun to Munkustrap.
"Kindly return this to Sears Roebuck." Munkustrap said, giving the gun to Alonzo.
"Look you toms. Tonight in Miss Cassandra Brown’s mission, at 409 West 49th street they are holding a midnight prayer meeting. I promised I would deliver to them some sinners and when it comes to sinning, most of you guys are high up among the paint cards."
"I don’t want to spend no evening in no Hallelujah joint." Growltiger said forcibly.
"I guarantee you the air in the mission smells a lot cleaner then down here, and maybe it would not hurt you guys to learn something else besides the odds on making a four the hard way. Well, I tried…. See you around Munkustrap."
Tugger headed back towards the ladder.
"Okay Tugger….. About that Havana business, I regret I temporarily do not have the 10lbs to pay you."
"You don’t have to pay me." Tugger said, handing over the catnip. "You won the bet."
"But I thought you took Miss Cassandra to Havana?"
"You thought wrong." Tugger sighed, and turned to leave again.
"Come on Big McCavity, get up." Munkustrap said, "I have now got the lbs to roll you again. But with my dice."
"Nothing, doing." Growltiger muttered. "With your dice he cannot make a pass to save his soul."
"What’d you say?" Tugger said, stopping dead.
"I says with them dice he cannot make a pass to save his soul." Growltiger answered belligerently.
"Well, maybe I can make a pass to save his… and yours! And yours, and his!" All of the gamblers looked around, confused as Tugger pointed at them. "I will bet each of you 10lbs against your souls. 10lbs cash against a marker for your souls. If I win, you guys all show up at the Mission tonight. Ok? One meeting."
"Okay by me.."
"By me too!" The gamblers nodded.
"You too, Munkustrap. 10lbs against your soul."
"Me? I don’t even know if I got one."
"You got one some place. Give me the dice. And give me room. I’ve got a lot more then dough riding on this one… They call you lady luck, but there is room for doubt. At times you have a very unlady like way of running out. You’re on this date with me, the pickin’s have been lush. And yet before this evening is over you might give me the brush. You might forget your manners, you might refuse to stay. And so the best that I can do is pray. Luck be a lady tonight. Luck be a lady tonight. Luck if you’ve ever been a lady to begin with, luck be a lady tonight. Luck let a gentleman see, how nice a dame you can be. I know the way you’ve treated other guys you’ve been with. Luck be a lady with me."
The gamblers all stood up, shouting.
"A lady wouldn’t flirt with strangers she’d have a heart, she’d have a soul."
Tugger leaped onto a pipe, as the gamblers kneeled. Tugger nodded.
"A lady wouldn’t make little snake eyes at me when I’ve bet my heart on this roll! So let’s keep the party polite. Never get out of my sight. Stick with me baby I’m the fellow you came in with luck be a lady. Luck be a lady. Luck be a lady, tonight!"
As tension shot through the sewers, Tugger rolled the dice.
"HA!"
Who won the bet? Will Hyper ever speak to Munkustrap again? What will become of Cassandra and Her mission?