Deliver Me -Page 5 by Lucy Maria Elmer

Faith Yokas made her way to Intensive care, Kim, who had agreed to come up and keep Katy company as herself and Bosco talked, at her side. The kids were at home, Fred having agreed to take care of them. What she found most shocking was that he knew where she was going, even had some idea why, and he didn't make a fuss. Instead he had wished her luck and told her he'd be around if she needed him.

For a few minutes Faith stood outside, just looking in at Bos who was tiredly talking to Katy, once again hooked up to numerous machines in Intensive care. She was obviously trying to comfort him.

"I didn't mean it Katy. You gotta believe me." Faith could hear him shouting.

"Bos I know. Calm down." She told him as he started to cough.

"I swear!" He told her trying to sit up, wincing in pain.

"Bos calm down, you're gonna rupture something else if you don't lie back down." Katy told him putting a hand on his chest.

"I have to explain..." he told her fighting against her.

"Bos, you lie back down there right now or I will hit you upside your head you hear me?" came a familiar voice from the doorway.

Katy turned round smiling at her cousin.

"I'd do what she says Bos." Katy told him, as he calmed down. "She looks mad." Katy teased.

"We should probably just..." Kim started, walking over to Katy and wheeling her out of the room.

Faith walked over to his bed and sat down on it.

"You really do have a knack for scaring people you know that?" she told him softly.

"Faith about what I said..." he started pulling his oxygen mask down.

"Which part?" she asked crossing her arms. "The part where you told me that everything you said when you got shot was lies, or the part where you told me you were lying about the lying?" Faith told him.

"The latter...I think." He told her confused then shaking his head in exasperation. "The reason I said those things...why I told you what I said was a lie...I just didn't want you to give up your family for me. I mean look at me Faith. I’m not good enough for you." He told her.

"Hey, I'm not giving up my family. Freds still gonna be around and I have Emily and Charlie. Besides don't you think I'm the one who should be able to decide who's good enough for me or not?" she asked him.

"I just didn't want to be the one you'd end up resenting Faith. I thought that if you left Fred you'd just realise how much you loved him and go back to him again. I didn't want to have you in my life like that and then lose you again." He told her truthfully.

"And that's why you said those things? You don't think I'd have done something like this without really thinking about it do you? Bos I had two children to consider...I wouldn't have just done it half heartedly. Any decision I've made has been thought about over and over again...and that decision brought me here tonight to hear what you had to say for yourself. So what have you got to say huh?" she asked him.

Bosco took a deep breath. Just looking into her eyes he could see the fear she had that he would hurt her again. That he would tell her she had given up what she had for nothing. He could also see the love in them, and he knew he wasn't going to let this moment pass with any regrets.

"Faith Yokas I am so very sorry for denying what I said was the truth. You know why I did it, I just told you, but know this. I love you so much. When I said that I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you, I learnt today exactly how bad I could feel because I did hurt you and knowing that broke my heart. If I'd have died...after arguing, after lying to you like that, I would have gone with so many regrets and like Katy said, living with regrets isn't having a life. So just so there are no regrets...I love you, every word I said to Katy was the truth. You're the one person that keeps me going Faith. You have been for a long time." He told her then coughing.

Faith put his oxygen mask back over his nose and mouth and kissed him on the forehead.

"If you ever hurt me like that again Bos I swear I'll put you right back into hospital again." She told him stroking his cheek. She could see him smiling under his oxygen mask.

"Am I forgiven?" he asked, his voice frightened.

"I'll have to think about that..." she replied enjoying the scared look on his face. "Yeah you're forgiven." She answered.

Bosco closed his eyes.

"I do love you Bos....You'd better not have fallen asleep, cos I'm not saying it again." She said smiling.

Bosco opened his shining eyes.

"Yes you are..." he whispered.

"I love you." She repeated gently pulling the oxygen mask of his face.

Bosco lifted his arm weakly and stroked her cheek which was wet with tears.

"You're the first thing I think of in the morning you know that...and the last thing before I go to bed." He told her.

"Same here. Though for me it was usually cos you'd said something really insulting that unfortunately got stuck in my head at some point during the day." She teased.

"Yeah well...you know me." He told her.

She smiled.

"I do now." She replied as she leant down and tenderly kissed him. Slowly each pulled away, amazed by the depth of their feelings for each other.

"No regrets?" he whispered.

"Are you kidding?" she replied. "I've been waiting to do that for the past few weeks. Hearing you say all you did, seeing you in so much pain...I knew then how strongly I felt for you. I never want to lose that memory because without it I wouldn't be sitting here now, without it I wouldn't have realised just what I'd lose if I didn't have you around." She told him.

Bosco took her into his arms as well as he could.

"You think we'll have a happy ending?" he asked her.

"I think we'll do everything we can to make sure of it. I don't plan on losing you Bos."

"Maybe I should get shot more often." He commented smiling.

"You'd better be joking." She told him pulling a face as they kissed again, two very happy people watching from the doorway as the promise of a future full of love blossomed in front of their very eyes.

****

One year later.

Christmas Eve had always been something special to Faith. Even more so now she was sharing it with a man who loved her more than anything else in the world, or at least that was what he told her every single day. The past year had been so special for her, granted the circumstances that finally prompted herself and partner Maurice Boscorelli to confess their love for one another weren't the most romantic she could have hoped for. Even now after a year of being a couple they were still very much in love, and she had a feeling would be for as long as they were together. The lessons they learnt when he had been shot had not been learnt in vain and every day as she woke up with him at her side she knew she wanted to be with him forever. Emily and Charlie had adjusted well to their mother and Bosco moving in together, Fred even helping the pair out keen to still play a role in all of their lives. They had adjusted even better to Katy’s moving in with them. The young woman keen to start a new life in New York City with people who she knew could help her with her problems rather than ignoring their existence. Since her arrival she had continued with her paramedic training and was loving being around the people she had grown so close to when she was in hospital herself, and if they were honest Faith and Bos loved having her around. Where else would they get a babysitter at such short notice.

Faith Yokas stood in the kitchen watching Emily and Charlie happily play Twister in the living room. Bosco had always gotten on with her kids, even when she was with Fred, but since they had all lived together she had seen a totally new side of him. He was so sweet with them, helping take care of them when they were sick, reading to them, playing with them whenever he could. He loved fathering them even though they weren't his own. A lot of people had been surprised at the caring and loving man Bosco had turned out to be, many of the police force commenting on it when they saw the partners together at work. Faith while being somewhat surprised, had known for a long time however just what he was capable of. It had just meant him finding the person he wanted to be with before that side of him was really shown.

As Faith continued making mince pies and Christmas pudding, the door opened and a snow-covered Katy walked in.

"Hey hon. Where you been all day?" Faith asked walking over to Katy and embracing her.

"Christmas shopping." She replied holding her bags up. "Man it is freezing out there." She told her cousin pulling off her scarf and hat, then brushing the snow off her coat.

Emily and Charlie both ran over to her.

"What you get?" Emily asked peering into the bag.

"Well, I was gonna save these till tomorrow...but seeing as I already got you some other gifts..."

The young woman handed Emily and Charlie a present each.

"Wow cool." Emily commented looking at the new Britney Spears album Katy had gotten her.

"Thanks Katy." Charlie replied looking at the video she'd bought him.

"No probs you two." Katy replied.

"Can I put this on now mom?" Emily asked.

"No I wanna put this on." Charlie argued.

Faith shook her head.

"There is no pleasing some people." She commented as the two kids argued between themselves. "Hey you didn't happen to see Bos did ya? He went out earlier and I haven't seen him all day."

Katy shook her head.

"What is that man up to? He's been acting weird all week."

"Don't ask me." Katy replied grinning. "Hey you mind if I put these in your closet? I have totally run outta space." She asked sweetly.

"Go for your life kiddo." Faith replied grinning as Katy kissed her on the cheek, Emily and Charlie back playing Twister with Emily’s CD on in the background.

A few minutes later Katy ran out of Faith and Boscos room, a note in her hand.

"Hey look at this." She told Faith handing the note to her.

Faith opened it up.

"Meet me at the church at 7.30. Bring the gang. Love Bos xxx. Where'd you find this?" Faith asked Katy.

"On the closet door." She replied.

Faith shook her head.

"Hon I was wrapping up presents earlier. I didn't see anything on the door."

"Well it was there."Katy replied uncomfortably.

"Unless Bos climbed in through the window or somehow snuck in and outta the house without me noticing, I don't think so. What are you guys up to?" Faith asked.

"Hey I'm not up to anything. I'm a little angel." Katy replied grinning sweetly.

Faith looked at her carefully, she could tell something was going on and that Katy was part of it. She shook her head.

"I'm gonna get to the bottom of this." She told her giggling cousin.

"Yep at 7.30 just like the rest of us." Katy replied unwilling to share any more, joining her cousins playing Twister in the lounge.

Kim Zambrano knelt on the snowy ground her arms wrapped tightly around her. It was so quiet except for the sound of the wind rustling the trees, and the moonlight shone brightly, lighting up the gravestone which she was sitting in front of.

"Hey Bobby. A while ago a friend was speaking to Joey. She lost a friend and she told him that she sometimes talks to the person she lost because she can feel him around. Well I don't know if you can hear me where you are, but I just...I wanted to come here...to talk...to say the things I should've said when you were alive. The truth is Bobby I miss you so much...you were my best friend...you were my partner and I loved you...I did...so much more than a friend loves another friend. I never told you that when you were alive and I know I should've done. God Bobby I was such a bitch to you...I mean all I could talk about was me and Jimmy. I never even thought how much that was hurting you. When I said I loved you as my best friend I was telling you the truth, but I also loved you so much more than that. I think if I wasn't so scared of complicating things...of hurting you even of getting hurt we could've been so happy and I regret so much not having that chance. I watched you slip away Bobby and it hurt so badly, it still hurts. Sometimes it's as if my heart is breaking and I can actually feel it. I am so angry with myself...you were the only constant I had in my life...the person I could always rely on, the person who was always looking out for me...comforting me...listening to me and I just didn't realise it until too late. Instead I was chasing after Jimmy...I'm so sorry Bobby, I'm sorry I hurt you...." she whispered bursting into tears, her whole body wracked with sobs.

"Don't cry Kim." She heard whispered from beside her, then feeling a tender hand on her cheek. She turned around to see her dead partner kneeling beside her, looking at his own grave stone.

"Bobby?" she whispered.

The figure smiled.

"This isn't real...you can't be here..." she told him reaching out a shaking hand and placing it on his chest.

"I'm here whenever you need me Kim. I'm here because I love you." He told her.

She started to cry.

"I love you too...so much...It hurts so bad Bobby, all I want is to have you back."

"I know." He replied taking her into his arms tenderly.

"I'm so sorry...for telling you I only loved you as a friend...for being so god damn horrible to you. You always stood by me no matter what and I never even said thank you..."

"Hey, stop beating yourself up over this Kim. What happened it wasn't your fault. I knew you were thankful Kim because I knew you and even if there were times when we argued or fought...that's never stopped me from loving you." He told her.

"Oh I miss you so much...I miss this so much." She told him.

Bobby kissed her on the forehead.

"I miss you too sweetheart, but I want you to listen to me...you have so much to fight for. You have Joey.

You have your friends. You can't give up. You have to keep fighting Kim, if not for you then for Joey and for me. I know you are full of regret and I know you loved me, I see it every time you cry." He told her wiping her tears away with his thumb. "And I know you wish you could've told me to my face but it wasn't meant to be. That doesn't mean I don't hear you. It doesn't mean I don't know. I am always with you, in here..." he told her pointing to her heart. "And watching over you so don't ever think you're alone. You were always a fighter Kim, you were always the most beautiful woman that I ever met...please don't lose those things now because I'm gone." He told her stroking her cheek.

"It's just so hard.." She told him.

"I know it is. It's hard for me to watch you in all this pain. But I'm here...wherever you are I'm there with you even if you can't see me I'm right there beside you. I want you to know that...I know you felt so bad Kim, I know you felt guilty and I know that I came close to seeing you again last year when you took those pills. Promise me you're not going to give up on life. It’s not worth it. We'll see each other again..But only when it's time. I want you to promise me..."

Kim looked into the deep brown eyes she knew so well.

"Promise." She told him.

"I have to go now Kim." He told her.

"Bobby no..."

"Shush.." He soothed. "If there was one person I'd be watching over on this earth it's you. It is you. I'm right here Kim always." He told her pointing to her heart, then kissing her on the forehead.

"I love you Bobby." She told him tearfully.

"I know. I love you too." He replied. "And remember whenever you need me, whenever you cry, I'm listening, even if you can't see that I'm there. I would never leave you baby." He told her getting up.

Kim looked up at him.

"Bye Bobby." She told him, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey it's never goodbye Kim." He replied stroking her cheek before beginning to walk off. "Tell Joey I love him." Bobby told her. “And Merry Christmas.” He finished.

Kim nodded watching as the figure of her dead partner disappeared into the dark, a shooting star passing over her head. Whether what she had seen was real or not, she now knew more than ever that her partner would always be with her and that she'd never be alone. Even in death he still loved her, and she was glad he knew she loved him too.

Katy, Faith, Emily and Charlie made their way to the church, trying their hardest not to trip over on the snow that covered the ground. As they reached the gate, Katy saw the familiar figure kneeling on the ground looking up at the sky. The group made their way over to her, Katy kneeling down at her friend’s side.

"You okay?" Katy asked putting an arm around the shivering Kims shoulders.

Kim looked at Katy.

"For the first time in a long while, I think I am." She replied with a small smile.

Katy gave Kim a hug.

"You're gonna be okay Kim." Katy told her.

"You are too." Kim replied giving Katys hand a squeeze. "What are you guys doing here? I came to wish Bobby a Merry Christmas." She then told them.

"I got a note from Bos telling me to meet him here at 7.30 and to bring the gang."

"Feel like joining us?" Katy asked.

Kim nodded, Katy then pulling her up. The group then made there way to the church.

When they got inside the whole church had been lit up with candles, holly and mistletoe covering the walls, fairy lights shining like crystals covering the pews.

"What is going on here?" Faith asked standing amazed.

Katy and Kim looked at each other and smiled.

"Wanna take a seat?" Katy asked.

Faith looked at them puzzled, the group then sitting down as music began to play. Out of nowhere the sweetest voice Faith had ever heard began to sing the hymn When Doves Cry, the church lighting up to reveal a gospel choir led by a young boy.

"Katy..."

"Just wait." Katy replied smiling.

As the young boy carried on singing a figure entered the church from a side door. This figure then began walking towards the three women. He was dressed up smartly in a suit, a huge smile on his face, though his eyes were frightened. Faith never thought she had seen him looking that cute before.

"Bos?" Faith whispered, watching as he got closer to them.

"You like the choir?" he asked taking Faiths hand in his own, her children beginning to giggle at her side.

"Uh yeah Bos it's beautiful. What's this all about?" she asked.

"Well it's been a year now...and I'm still very much in love with you and..."

Faith nodded for him to continue.

Bosco got down on one knee and took a deep breath.

"And I was kinda wondering...since the divorce was finalised a few months ago...Faith...will you marry me?" he asked her.

For a moment Faith just sat still, unable to answer.

Her heart was beating so fast it felt like she would explode. A year ago she would never have pictured this moment. As all around her held their breath and the choir carried on singing she looked into Boscos eyes. She saw the love he felt for her. The finally unable to stay quiet for any longer she answered.

"Yes. Yes I'll marry you." She told him as he took her hand and pulled her up, kissing her passionately.

"Do you love me enough to marry me now?" he asked her.

"Bos I'm not exactly dressed for a wedding, we don't have a best man, or maid of honour or a priest..." she started.

"Actually that's not technically true." Katy told her as their friends entered from the same door as Bos had all dressed up.

"You see this has been arranged for a while. Your gown, Emilys’, Katys’ and Kims’ are out back. So's Charlies suit. We have a priest..." Bos told them as he stepped forward. "A best man." Bos told her motioning to Sully who smiled. "A maid of honour." Bos continued, Kim smiling. "A couple of bridesmaids." He added Katy and Emily waving. "A page boy..." Bosco told her pointing to Charlie. "And someone to give you away." He finished their Captain from the NYPD entering the room with their colleagues. "That is if you want to marry me here, tonight."

Faith looked at him, at all her friends and followed the advice Angela Boscorelli had given her all those months ago at the hospital which was to follow her heart. She stroked his face, then kissed him on the forehead.

" Of course I'll marry you." She told him as their friends erupted in cheers and a huge smile appeared on his face, a smile full of happiness and love.

"I was so scared you were gonna say no." He told her resting his forehead against hers.

Faith smiled.

"No way Boscorelli. You're stuck with me." She told him.

"That was all I ever wanted." He replied stroking her cheek.

Just an hour later all sat quietly watching as two people they loved were united in marriage. When Faith had walked down the aisle in the wedding gown that Kim and Katy had picked out Boscos eyes had lit up. In his eyes she looked like an angel, the ivory dress shining under the sparkling fairy lights that adorned the church, the light flickering from the candles bathing her in a warm glow providing a magical atmosphere. When Faith had seen his face, the love that radiated from it as he watched her walk towards him, Sully at her side, she knew she was going to be so happy, and her breath caught n her throat. He really wasn't the person who so many had seen him as. He was so much better than that. He was hers.

Kim and Katy, both in identical lilac gowns watched happily. During the last year they had watched these two people work through so many obstacles, had worked through many themselves and at times it seemed like nothing was going to work out, but it had been a year of self discovery. There really was happiness out there and more than ever both were sure they'd find it like Faith and Bos had in each other no matter how hard the path was that lead to it. Their friendship was something that both held dear. Since Katys arrival a year ago whenever either of them needed to talk they knew there was someone to go to who really could help, and as both sat there they knew that person would always be there because that's what friendship was.

Watching the ceremony thoughts filled the heads of those watching about the past year. Thoughts of people they'd lost, who had nearly been lost and things that had happened which had affected them deeply. If they'd have been asked a year ago if they'd have seen themselves sitting where they were now watching the two people in front of them getting married none of them would have said yes. But sitting there now watching as the couple took their vows, looking lovingly into each others eyes none could picture anything more beautiful. They really were meant for each other, and if it had taken them the hell that they'd been through when Bosco and Katy had gotten shot for them to admit their love then it was worth it.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Came the voice of the priest snapping everyone out of their thoughts.

Bosco gently pulled the veil back off Faiths face, stroking her cheek lightly with his finger. Then cupping her chin in his hands, he kissed her. The whole of the church erupted in loud claps and cheers, most of the police squad, fire department and paramedics having come to watch their friends get married.

"Merry Christmas Faith." Bosco whispered kissing her again.

"Merry Christmas Bos." She replied smiling. "Just promise me one thing?" she asked him looking at Kim and Katy who were chatting to Boscos mother.

"Anything?" he told her sincerely.

"Promise me we'll have no regrets...not like Kim and Bobby or Katy and Paul. They may be doing okay now but if something happens to either one of us...I don't want the other to have any regrets."

Bosco smiled.

"I promise." He told her tenderly. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't even want to think about it." He told her sincerely.

"As long as we make every minute together count that’s what's important. I don't want to think about it either." She told him, smiling as the choir once again began to sing.

"Care to dance Mrs Boscorelli?" he asked.

Faith smiled.

"Love to." She replied as he took her in his arms and they swayed gently to the music. As they were dancing Faith looked around at all their friends who were watching them smiling. Emily and Charlie watched their mother happily, Katy and Kim chatting quietly to each other beside the two children. Their Captain was also smiling, proud to see two of his officers truly happy.

"Come on guys it's Christmas, don't any of you feel like a Christmas dance?" Bosco asked.

The group all looked at each other.

"Katy..." Ty Davis offered her his hand which she took.

"Love to." She replied blushing slightly.

"Kim?" Doc asked. "Look I know I have been a jerk.

I know after what happened I should have been there for you and I know I wasn't. The truth is I felt guilty Kim. I kept thinking maybe if I'd let you sit with us that day...I guess I blamed myself." he admitted.

"Doc it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybodies. And about you being a jerk, yeah I guess it was true. But on the day Katy was shot you were there for me in that ambulance. I could never have gone through that alone. You were a friend then, when it mattered. And about before, I don't blame you for being uncomfortable. I was too." Kim told him.

"So. Friends?" He asked.

Kim nodded, Doc enveloping in her in a hug.

"I really am sorry." he told her. “I promise if you ever need to talk...”

Kim looked into his eyes and she could see he really meant it. She smiled.

“Thank you.” she told him sincerely.

"So can I have this dance?" he asked.

Kim nodded, took his hand and then they too got up.

Soon afterwards the whole group were dancing, members of the public who entered the church finding the Christmas spirit infectious and joining in. For all those people in that room the last year had been the toughest of their lives, but that day proved love really does conquer all.

**** The end. Copyright (c) 2001 Lucy Maria Elmer