The Army-Navy experience is for the street/road literate, the closest thing to Tiffany's on New Yorks Fifth Ave. No diamonds or gold here, but the web utility belts and canteens are worth their khaki-camo weight in gold. Yes, I do have Birkenstocks, but when on the road Rand McNallying it on foot, nothing like a pair of military jackboots, very Gestapo looking, I'll grant you, but they do protect your feet for long treks.
The military shirt, short sleeved or long is another valuable piece of road wear for the weary. Pockets aplenty, durable, confortable in most climates, and can hold their own against the elements. It also gives you that national forest ranger look you have been trying to effect for years.
For the home office, there is nothing that screams khaki cocky like an old ammo box to hold your valuable papers or family recipes, or just to scare the ATF. "But, officer, really, it's just my grandma's recipes for brownies, and no, not those brownies. You have an evil mind officer! Here have a brownie, you'll see things in a different light. Let me know what you think, just don't pull the pin on the pastry! If you do, toss it and run like hell!"
If you're getting married, why waste time registering at Macy's. Hell,sign up at a Army Navy surplus store so guests can give you gifts that really matter...and last. Forget the fine china, a six piece place setting of messkits will not only be cheaper, but last longer, and can also double as cooking pots and pans. Let's see your Lennox do that, eh?
Wedding formals are expensive, just have the bride choose a lovely dark green rain poncho to act as dress with flowing train, and the brides maids can dress accordingly, or have them wear World War Two WAC uniforms. That way you add a touch of visual nostalgia and they can break out into song by doing a rendition of "Boogie, Woogie Bugle Boy" The groom and groomsmen can don jungle fatigues to compliment the retro WWII look of the bridesmaids. This will add a little theater to the whole proceeding to wow the crowd! "The Bride was Boffo!" I can see the headlines in Variety now. Also you can announce the wedding in Stars and Stripes. Top it all of with a honeymoon in a brand new surplus tent with mosquito netting set up near a test firing range and bang, boom! You're a surplus store rock star!
Army Navy Surplus stores arent the only treasure troves to scour. There is nothing like weekend scrounging when you load up the beat up old wagon and head out to do some good old fashioned retro recon at your local Goodwill Store or a Saturday morning session of what I call Goodwill Hunting. I have found tack and kitcsh along with valuable folk art, and still haven't decided if I value the hand carved aboriginal piece from downunda, or that cheerful Che Guevara bobble head that sits in my office on my workdesk staring at me as I speak, or in this case write. Hawaiian shirts and plaid and prouders for winter wear always seem to proliferate at Goodwill stores. I don't know if they actually mate with other shirts to create such a stylish plentiful plethora, but to browse the rack is good kharma in any case. The Hawaiian shirts are generally themed..hula, surfboards, palm trees, Woody's and boards, classic cars and even Route 66, although what the hell that has to do with Hawaii escapes me..ok, the proper term anyway is Aloha Shirts.
The plaid shirts are more stark in nature, as that is the nature of plaid. Quiet contemplation, the fabric version of the John Wayne film, "The Quiet Man". Plaid never raises it's voice screaming out..."Look at me, Look at me" as Aloha shirts have a Honolulu habit of doing. Also you can tell the regional differences simply by the colors of a plaid shirt. Red plaid is Michigan and Maine for the most part..Blue Plaid is Wisconsin and Minnesota, and the highly coveted harder to find than Bigfoot green plaid is definitely West Virginia. There is also an off yellow plaid whose origins have not yet been revealed by scientists or sociologists who have puzzled over this one for decades.
Retro applicances and home decor are those often overlooked treasures that the Bravo Channel on cable would turn their noses up in the air over. Forget the soft parade of Bravo, you have go be retro-rugged to put these pieces in your abode. Old Princess phones in light blue and pink; ring a ding ding Sixties bar sets with that awesome Eskimo brand silver ice holder; Bakelite radio's, and yes, I have three of those in my collection, (AM only is my only criteria). Furniture of course such as lamps. One lamp I have staring at me right now is a twisty necked trio of lights, red covering, blue covering and green covering that are more reminiscent of the alien probes that protruded from the space ships in the original War of the World's with Gene Barry. They're fun to twist around but still haven't found out how to ad sound to them as they invade the planet while shedding light on my keyboard at the same time at 4 a.m. when I do most of my writing.
There are St. Vincent De Paul's, Salvation Army's and others, but the Fort Knox of junque...the local Junkyard. Revered by many as the Lost City of Cibola, junkyards hold the key to the mystery of the universe! Ok, a little overboard, but when looking for tha Hudson car hood ornament, or you find that old Rambler station wagon hubcap you'll feel as though you have Indiana Jones'd it and drank from the Holy Cup! I had a gift certificate to a junkyard one year, a Christmas gift and picked up some old '71 Pontiac hubcaps that were transformed into heavy metal roadhead Christmas wreaths...decoraged with chili pepper lights, small cars as ornaments, and all sorts and manner of metal bells and other things that go clang in the night.
So forgettabout Ikea. Screw the Home Decor shows...declare your independence from the bland, from the decorators, from those who would force their taste on your home....and remember...kitsch is cool, retro rocks and it's now time to salute the surplus stores, and do some good golly Miss Molly Goodwill Hunting.