Sacto is more than just the capital city of California. It's also one of the tattoo capitals on the Far Left Coast. To tat, or not to tat? That is the question, and the answer is they have enough ink artists to completely cover Godzilla. Their needles work in overdrive non-stop creating the finest in body art so you can transform your body into a colorful fresco of flesh. Speaking of flesh, when living in San Francisco I spent a lot of time on clothing optional beaches. Group nudity with pounding surf on warm, sandy beaches and you couldn't have a finer day in Northern California.
However, in not so clothing optional, Sacramento, you can cover your body with offerings from a wide variety of clothing merchants who specialize in garments made from from hemp, and other organic wear, to a fiendishly delightful little store called Sock City that would make get a sock monkey's blood and adrenalin go from zero to 60 on the quarter mile. This sock emporium carries over 4,000 styles of socks to suit any taste to feed the fetish of the feet of the most discriminating foot aficionado! For the leather crowd there are numerous leather stores and one store that takes you on a trip south of the border to South America with a fine collection of Peruvian products.
Medical marijuana dispensaries adorn the area and a great source for locations and hours is the website of the Sacramento Cannabis Clubs at www.sacramentocannabisclubs.com. It has dispensary listings, reviews, directories, news and listings of doctors and lawyers.
Stores that offer a garden of outdoor products and shops for rock hounds abound. Have you ever been told to go to hell or go fly a kite? In Sacramento you can get lost high above the lofty skies with an amazing collection of kites of varying sizes and design. As far as going to hell, I can't help you there. You'll have to find your own way, and it's been said, I've found mine! If you think "America's Got Talent" forget it! You may want to check out what those crazy Argentines can do with a little fancy footwork. Where else but Sacramento would you find a place called Tango By The River, the premier venue for performances of the authentic Argentine Tango to do the last Tango in Paris. It's 1,500 square feet of tango space with a back drop of rich velvet curtains giving it a real old fashioned brothel look! I don't know that you'll find any flamingo's doing flamenco, but Sacramento has a plentiful supply of night clubs, music venues, and comedy clubs that serve up the laughs and the micro-brews in equal amounts.
Murder mysteries are always forensically fun and you can play detective Sam Spade by helping to solve a mystery at the Suspects Murder Mystery Dinner Theater on board the Delta King Riverboat! It is an interactive dinner and drama and the actors mix with the patrons, and you won't be sure of who's who, and if the person next to you in a bonafide serial killer or soon to be cadaver, murdered at the hands of some nefarious perpetrator with a nasty streak. You may even be the one to solve the crime! Kids are welcome, but not infants as there is simulated gun fire and that might scare the crap out of them! You can also overnight it on the Delta King for a package price, but keep your stateroom doors locked. I wouldn't want to see anything happen to you after midnight.
For a more personalized private experience you can leave the murders behind you and rent a houseboat as that is one of the more active pursuits in the area. I remember fondly in a purple haze going to the movies with friends stoned to watch Disney's "Fantasia" on the big screen. Dancing brooms still scare the hell out of me to this day! Forget "Fantasia" as fantasy does come true at Sacramento's Fairytale Town which is 2.5 acres of pure unadulterated natural high fun for the whole family as your favorite fairytale characters come to life thanks to a talented crew of performers. They even have Robin Hood and his band of merry men in tights! Fishnets are optional!
Sacto is also home to a world class zoo and one hell of an auto and railroad museum. Carriage rides will transport you on a romantic tour of the city including it's old town district, and you can also book the carriage for a horse drawn funeral if you like. Just make sure you don't book both on the same day, a funeral is bound to kill the romantic mood if you know what I mean. Hardly a honeymoon experience!
Cuisine runs the gastronomical gamut from gourmet hot dogs to California cuisine and everything in between to go with your favorite California wine, and everybody loves a good party. In February, it's party hearty time with Sacramento’s version of Mardi Gras. Parades, hot foods, entertainment of all types,and of course beads! It has a car and motorcycle show and a ball in the evening that features music and dancers from New Orleans, and all is geared to raise money to benefit children, families and individuals who have become homeless.
If you are looking for a true California "old town" experience and have always wanted to "do it in a Delta" then make plans to "do it" in Sacramento. It's almost better than sex! I said...ALMOST!