The Roller Derby is the modern day version of female superiority eroticism on skates. Rollerskate or Rollerblade...it's a rock and roll wet dream that is growing exponentially in the 21st Century. So who are these Roller Goddesses and what Valhalla did they descend to earth from? Did Vulcan send 'em...did Thor open the door...How about Zeus...did he turn them loose? Dunno ... maybe it was Diana the Huntress..or Aphrodite..or the philosopher Testicles testifying on their behalf.
The Roller Derby got it's start in the late 19th Century as roller skating was introduce and the first "endurance races" were held in 1884. The first race or derby was over 100 miles and took ten hours to complete and to lead to complete exhaustion of the participants. Then in 1885 Madison Square Garden in NYC held a six day affair where the competitors were racing for a $500 cash prize..a lot of money today, and a small fortune then. After the six day derby..two of the participants died of exhaustion and laws were now introduced prohibiting derby’s to exceed four hours.
The races involved male and female teams and these traveling troupes of derby daredevils toured the country and put on exhibitions which began involving pushing and shoving of opponents, with enough spills, thrills and bruising to pack the venues to the rafters...we all go to hockey games..not necessarily to watch a puck fuck up a goalie but we want to see if a good old fashioned fight will break out..and we also slow down for accidents on the highway. Why..we are voyeurs..admit it...a little blood never hurt anybody..as long as it isn't our own...
By the 1920's roller derby's were SRO events at venues large and small...competing with baseball, football and basketball. As the violence on the track Damon Runyon encouraged the team owners to increase ways to promote the violence and they did..they found ways to close the ranks of the skaters in order to allow more punching and elbowing. It was truly a contact sport and the crowds were growing to witness collisions on the boards in record numbers. Like Jack Nicholson court side at a Lakers Game...roller derby attracted it's who's who of the day from Cary Grant and Mickey Rooney to Milton Berle.
Television in the 1950's now brought this blood and guts sport into the living rooms of nuclear families consisting of parents and 1.2 children in tract housing and the sublime suburbs. Other sports that got a jump start in growing popularity due to the new medium were wrestling and boxing. The Television age was off and running and the female component of roller derby action blasted off into outer space and was and gave Americans a sexual charge with a super charged Roller Derby Dildo of sex and violence..the breakfast of champions!!!
The interest in the sport began to wane in the '70s and it looked like death was looming for the sport. Revival attempts failed in the '80's and '90's and attempts to integrates story lines and staged action made the sport tank faster than the Titanic. After the new millennium dawned, womens roller derby rose from the ashes in Austin, Texas. Long legged Texas longhorn girls will do it every time..c'mon..look at the Dallas Cheerleaders. The first team was the Texas Rollergirls and the emerging teams were run by the girls themselves. The new flat track sport spread like a virgins legs on prom night and now there are 450 flat track roller derby leagues world wide. Today the Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) which began in 2004 consisting of only a handful of leagues is today the umbrella organization that oversees the sport and it's legitimacy and promotes it as a true sport..which it is.
Babes on wheels with bodies and stamina...but it wasn't all sexual. These were and are today..bonofide athletes. Skill and precision are paramount in their craft and the action is not faked. Teams with names like Bombers, Torpedoes, Babe City Rollers, and the Brew City Bruisers can't miss. They got my money for a ticket any day...any place. I had the opportunity to skate, badly I might add with a roller derby team as a radio stunt in San Fancisco when working in radio and must say...I admired the skill of these athlete skaters..it was all I could do remain on my feet in a vertical position. Then in Washington State while working as a journalist I had the opportunity to interview a mother of two who was team captain of the Tri-City Bombers Roller Derby Team. She was so feminine, genteel and admittedly sexy as hell with class and style that when I saw her in action on the track it was like watching Dr. Jekyll turn into Mr. Hyde...only sexier!