Like most dolls..she is lifelike..for a doll. Lifelike yes, except, like most dolls she does not have a prolific forest of pubic hair or a vaginal crater for a Ken doll astronaut to land his moon rover with rocket boosters to explore her south of the navel border region or her full moon! No wonder he went gay! Barbie is as shaven and waxed as a fresh polished apple.She has that bikini wax appearance which is inviting, but almost every woman I've been with has something of a coonskin cap topping the region where there is sexual fire in the hole. Either way..it works wonders for me. Besides it beats masturbation where a bird in the hand is no match for one in the bush!
Today Barbie can get it on doll on doll with Scooter or Skipper and make Ken sit quietly in the corner and given the right conditions and a few joints could make Betsy wetsy all over herself. Put Barbie with My Little Pony and it's cabaret time in Berlin! Also notice...Barbie has no nipples! Today Barbie has a pink Corvette, a pink Dollhouse and probably a pink thong. There is workplace Barbie and playtime Barbie..there are Barbie friends and associates..but again no nipples...where is silicon implant Barbie? Inquiring minds want to know!.I'm still waiting for my Carol Doda action figure or the Anti-Christ Barbie to arrive in a plain brown wrapper with batteries included!
Barbie is iconic and as all American as it gets...but is she really that all American? What if her pedigree has a dark past of debauchery and prostitution that proliferated in post-war Germany but also a descendent of a promiscuous product of Germanic sex slavery and inanimate object animation.
If you bypass the errors of her bikini waxed no entrance allowed vaginal G-spot and look strictly at her geneology you'll uncover the truth...Barbie is a whore! She found a way to escape Germany and with false documents made her way not to Argentina..but to Toys R' Us via the underground railroad in Hong Kong! Confused? You bet your ass...It all began with Bild Lilli..or Lilli who was built or bild like a brick whorehouse and was a creation of Germany's Bild Magazine. Lilli started as a comic strip hooker who specialized in servicing rich German men, eventually she became a doll and was sold as a novelty in bars and tobacco shops to a male clientele. She was German Expressionist Film Noir all rolled into one plastic package and was indeed a plastic fantastic lover...if you're into that kind of thing. Inflatables don't count in this discourse. Lilli gave new meaning to the term "toy box" and her box meant business and she would phuck for a fist full of pfennings.
Lilli was created in early 1950's West Germany..remember at that time there two Germany's ..east and west..one for them and one for us and all for one..sorry, the Three Musketeers invaded my thought pattern. She was a last minute fill in for empty magazine space, as a former managing editor of magazines and newspapers I will attest to the fear that will produce into an evil editors heart! Editorial blank space is the print version of dead air in radio or a stake in the heart of a vampire.
In the comic strips she talked about sex and nudity...not exactly Little Orphan Annie or Little Lulu..in fact Lilli had big lulu's! She wore two piece bathing suits in 1952 so was well ahead of the beach blanket bingo crowd showing plenty of midriff doll flesh for all those doll flesh fetishists that frequent Toys R Us wearing raincoats in summer and engage in strange behaviour while looking up a catholic school girl dolls' plaid dress.
Her popularity skyrocketed especially among male readers and probably a few female readers as well...this is Germany afterall the birthplace of anything goes hetero-homosexual cabaret, Marlene Dietrich and Fritz Lang pedophile films from the island of German Gothic Expressionism!
Lilli had the curves that would stop a Stormtrooper in his brutal blitzkrieg tracks and cause a cartoon worthy erection in the groins of a gang of Gestapo Goosesteppers. She was blonde and aryan...Nordic and ponytailed and had honest to goodness tits and nipples! Lifelike? You bet her sweet ass. Yes, she was bikini waxed in her Berlin bunker region so that was the first pubic Iron Curtain to be removed before the Wall came tumbling down in the 80's.
In the mid-Fifites the Marx Toy Company, not to be confused with the Karl Marx Toy Companies Lenin Action Figures went Hong Kong and had a replica doll designed in the likeness of Lilli that eventually turned into a doll named Babs. Babs had boyfriends whereas Lilli had "clit clients" and johns. She had a heterosexual relationship with a boy doll..get the picture..make way for Barbie! Finally Babs escaped from the Chinese opium dens and made her way to America and changed her name to Barbara Millicent Roberts..or Barbie! Yes, the story gets sad her...she was Lilli in disguise, not Judy in disguise and her nipples were removed...no pubic hair..no nipples...no red lights..Lilli was no longer Heidi Fleiss (Wasn't there a German storybook character and Shirley Temple film called "Heidi"...Shirley Temple as an Alpine hooker with pigtails...naw..can't be. I am delusional ...don't go there!
The legend of Lilli goes on...there was even a Lilli film although not an animated feature but a REAL film it did precede the animated antics of Fritz the Cat and the cartoon hot Jessica Rabbit. Yes before them all ....there was Lilli. It was a 1958 film called ...I can't spell the German so translated it comes out as Lilli...a Girl From the Big City. They held a casting contest and a Danish girl won the coveted roll...I haven't had a good Danish in awile now...Swedes are tasty too..but gimme a German over easy and it's bratwurst time in the bordello!!!