The Marquis de Sade Kicks Ass! Literally!
by Mike Marino

Sado-masochism is pretty much the cataclysmic catechism of one Donatien Alphonse Francois. Who? Ok you know him better as The Marquis de Sade.When you think S & M, think kink on overdrive. He was a madcap French freedom fighter for extreme libertine rights in all things sexual Born in 1740 he spent his life as the Johnny Appleseed of a sexual lifestyle that had an orchard of apples that included caged men and women and red bottoms from whippings and torture, as well as the not so gentle treatment of the genitalia.

This Jekyll and Hyde dominant/submissive Alice in Bondage Wonderland was spread as gospel through the publication of a series of articles and books, not to mention stageplays that depicted whips and chains. (..and you thought "Hair" was groundbreaking) If he would have access to film in those days he might have produced Beach Blanket Bondage with Annette Fellatio wearing breast leashes and he would have emerged as the Ed Wood Hymen Hipster of Hollywood!

He was also a member in good standing in the various penal institutions of the day for his "blasphemy" of the Catholic church (His target all along) by promoting promiscuity with a side order of heavy breathing after administering or in a state of rapture after a heavy beating. He also never flew over but saw the inside of many a French insane asylum cuckoo's nest. His fortunes appeared to change during the French Revoluiton..Liberte Egalite Fraternate for all including those who subscribe to the congress of the cat o' nine tails..yes..he was elected as a delegate to the national convention! You don't say no to a man with hot poker and a whip!

Prior to the revolution, Sade lived in a castle inviting destitute prostitutes up for his idea of a fun filled evening of fellatio and spankings. When he ran out of hookers he would call for more good times by using some of his employees of both sexes. So what wine goes with vagina and penis? A good blood red will do garcon. In Paris his sadism became fuel injected and some of the prostitutes complained to police who put him under surveillance which eventually led to a series of arrests and incarcerations. Kept in a cage like cell with chains on should have been right up his alley, you'd think.

During one of his periods of freedom he imprisoned a young woman spending days with his captive sexually and physically abusing her until she escaped. Unlike the Beatles song, she did not come in through the castle bathroom window but exited the chamber of horrors through it. Later escapades involved drugging women and sexually abusing them with the help of his manservant.It's hard to find a good manservant these days. The heat was on and both fled the country but were tried in absentia and sentenced to death for sodomy and kidnapping. This time Sade ran like hell and took his wife's sister with him! Eventually he was captured and sent to prison but escaped in four months.

He hid out in his castle..duh..like they didn't know where to look eh? This time in his Pee Wee's Playhouse of bondage he had another willing partner...his wife! Sado-Masochism with a bi-sexual blowtorch to heat things up does not discriminate. All men and women are created equal..Submissive! It was the Emancipation Proclamation of Promiscuity with a dark side...unless of course you enjoy a good time on the rack or the Iron Maiden!

Employees and prostitutes alike filed complaints and once again he fled. A story was planted throughout Europe that his mother was dying so he sneaked back into town and was captured as planned. They lied..it turns out old mom was already dead but that should appeal to necromancers everywhere. I love a story where there is something for everyone.

He ended up in the infamous Bastille where he shouted from the windows and caused a small riot. He was eventually released and published more erotic books but under a pen name this time. This time the books were pissing off a guy named Napoleon Bonerparte..pun intended..who ordered the arrest of the authors of whom all were one person...Sade.

More prison time followed for more publications and while in prison he was seducing young inmates and was committed to an insane asylum in 1803. The asylum head it seems had a soft spot for the theater and let Sade produce stage plays in the hospital with the inmates as actors! The public was not amused and new orders arrived and he was placed in solitary confinement without pen and paper and the stage plays were suspended.

Once released he immediately started a sexual relation with a 13 year old boy that lasted until Sades death in 1814. His skull was later exhumed and studied for phrenoligcal examination. His family had all his remaining unpublished manuscripts burned. But the literary damage had been done..as more authors influenced by his works began their own endeavors which eventually led to the watered down "gothic novel" which is the spawn of Sade's influence.

Today Sado-Maschoism is practiced by choice by many couples and trio's of both genders and cross gendered..There are private clubs to attend and practice your own form of Marquis Mayhem on someone, or turn around being fairplay fourplay, you can place yourself in the hands of someone else, and yes, some people do pay good money for that. So, you see, you have a choice..you can get your ass in a sling, literally or kick ass, flip a coin..appropriately heads or tails..and look at the classified ads today...Professsional Doms and Dominatrix ads fill the classified space of major city publications everywhere as well as online. Hell, even Facebook has sado-maso groups to meet the growing demand..supply and demand..I'll be damned...it's the American Way!