With hips on sexual fire, feet and legs planted firmly on the ground, spread wide for a peep show highlighting the inviting vortex of the vagina prominently displayed, beckoning, teasing and enticing, it’s scent filling the senses with it’s promise of erogenous nuclear explosions.
The hula hoop as we know it today anyway was given birth in 1958 with the crazy craze spreading faster than a forest fire i the San Berdoo mountains of Southern California. All ages were doing sexy thrust and parry moves with finely tuned pelvic regions on overdrive. Teenage girls were hot rods with modified engines when it came to hooping. The male of the species was no longer content with a little peek up a cheerleaders skirt at half-time. This time she was sensuousy activated and sexually radioactive.
The hoop had humble beginnings innocently enough in Native American tradition as the hoop dance to tell stories for preservation of the indigenous culture for future generations to study, learn and keep the Native spirit alive. Some stories were long and involved requiring more than one hoop to tell the tale.
Hoop history shows that in Robin Hood’s day in the 1400’s the Merry Men of Sherwood Forest as well as the male and female residents of London may have used wooden and metal hoops for entertainment. I can see Maid Marion now wiggling her Renaissance ass in the Castle Room at the King Richard Casino! That still doesn’t explain….”who made Maid Marion?” and was she really a Welsh wench with magic hips that could bring down an empire? It also brings up the question….what does a Scotsman wear under his kilts when hooping in the Highlands? Could be the foreplay forerunner of the Flashdance.
The Hula Hoop taxied down the commercial runway and lifted off internationally in the 1950’s when the beloved plastic fantastic version rolled off the Wham-O Toy Company (Can you say Frisbee?) assembly lines. They were originally marketed as exercise hoops and were an instant hit as an astounding 25 million hoops hopped onto consumers waists in the first four months! Thats a hell of a lot of hip action. At it’s height of hip swinging hipness the company was producing 50,000 hoops a day! It soon became a fad for fun at parties and health be damned. The Hula Hoop was inducted into The Toy Hall of Fame in New York State in 1999.
Today the hip hoop is more than mere hoopla...it’s an innuendo injected icon that can still excite...if placed on the proper persons hip. To prove that point go to any strip club near your hometown airport and get a groin action gander when pasties start to protrude north of her border and her equator starts hooping giving off the wet heat and scent of her rainforest.
Although America is the birthplace of today’s modern hoop, there has been hot hoop action in Red China, the former Soviet Union and in today’s Russia for years. Vladimir Putin has to be puttin’ us on! A hula hoop on Mao? Wow! Maybe the NASA Mars probe will find one lying on the ground on the Angry Red Planet along with a bag of old Mars Bars...hell...the European Space Agency just landed a probe on a comet..maybe it’s really not a comet at all but rather an Outer Space Wham-O toy Space Truck bringing a load of hoops to Hoboken. Hoop Hipsters unite..whether you gyrate in outer space or your backyard or the burlesque stage near the airport...the hula hoop is here to stay, so if you can’t make it to Honolulu to see the real rocket powered hips in action just watch your cougar neighbor shake it up or settle for a cheerleader doing handstands!
Twister! The Sex Game from Hell!
I've played Twister as a clothing optional contact sport along with ping pong with girls in thongs and enjoyed the groin gyrations of a young boomer generation who can redline and thrust a hula Hoop with the force of Mach 10. It was the Sexy Sixties after all and we were ready to unlock the Pandora's Box of Inhibition and jump into the waterfall of nudity and sexul innuendo.
The Sixties were launching into orbit as fast as a the effects of a hit of Owsley acid in Haight Ashbury. Freedom of speech was slugging it out with tear gas cannisters in the streets. Topless dancing and bikini’s were baring all or at least healthy portions of “all” in an effort to further the cause of sexual expression and soon free love would be the boomers mantra of a new generation.
Lenny Bruce was being persecuted, Carol Doda was being arrested, I Am Curious Yellow was being banned at the box office but an even more sinister invasion was about to get underway in the privacy of the homes of our parents. A Soviet Invasion? UFO with anal probes? The devil himself? No to all of the above. This invasion was by the Milton Bradley Toy Company as they got ready to release from the Ninth Gate of Hell….TWISTER!
The game was released and Sears Roebuck refused to carry it due to it’s “sexual” nature. If it is of a sexual nature, and nature is natural, then Twister is our anthropological birth-right! It’s the natural thing to do. The game itself had a non-obtrusive beginning from the toy makers womb and today it has matured into the realm of nude competitions as well as a bikini mud event. It can be played by two players or any number of players so a dozen or so denizens on the mat can make for a great groping group of naked gamers. So how did this “twisted” game come to emerge from the placenta of game greatness?
In the dark ages game evolution, it is acknowledged to have germinated frm the fertile mind of Reyn Guyer, a Mad Ave ad exec who at the time was working on a Johnsons Shoe Polish campaign. His original name for “Twister” was “Pretzel” and was sold to the Milton Bradley Company in 1964 who immediately changed the name to “Twister”
“Twister” was the first board game where humans were the “pieces” and because of the positions assumed Milton Bradley’s competition accused them of selling “sex in a box” That alone probably propelled sales to astronomical heights. You know what they say..ban something and everyone will want it. Sears refused to carry it on the shelves in 1965 but by 1966...the winds of change were blowing from exciting downtown Burbank where every night millions listened to the late night battle cry…”Heeeeere’s Johnny!”
Eva Gabor had a scheduled appearance and brought along her own “Twister” sex in a box game. She and Johnny played it live on the air and it has not come down from orbit yet. Heeeere’s Twister!!!!! Hi Yo!
So far the largest group of Twister participants as determined by Guinness, the World Record people and not the beer and ale folks, is over 4,000 contestants at the University of Massachusetts in 1987. So, how many Mass-holes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
“Twister” as a Socialist Utopian experiment? Youbetcha! It is a phenom still worldwide and according to social scientists is accepted by all social classes and breaks down barriers that divide these distinct classes. Even “Twister” is a Communist plot...like rock and roll and The Manchurian Candidate! Can you see Karl Marx and Frederich Engels in thongs groping groupies from Kiev? Not a pretty sight!
So shed your clothing...and your inhibitions...and get ready to embark on a journey of nudity and sex aboard the Twister Express!