What it’s like when all the world folds down
When there is nowhere left to go
And you are sheltered left and right
By the problems of everyday life

Trying to just make sense of what he said
You’re confused by the motives, and wonder which juices simmer
In his veins, yet they’re all the same
Fly away from the nest and leave you alone

I hear your heartbeat pulse in the evening
Although we are separated, not close
But I can feel the emotion stir in your words you never speak
What underlying emotion hidden to others is revealed to me

The fear of nothingness is enough to take me away
To sometime, somewhere, someplace I dread to travel
Because I don’t know what will happen if I ask
Or even if you’re there with the answer I crave

I look for your face everynight before sleep
Hoping for dreams, but all I’m left with is nightmares
Beat up and kicked on by my mind, plaguing my thoughts
Just what could exist, the worst possible scenario, an outcome to live without

How can such a young life feel so jaded?
Endlessly confused by what I see and hear but can never touch
Simply wanting to make you my own, but what exists between us I am unsure
Angels float down to greet my day, and squeeze my heart until it no longer palpitates

Learn something new everyday
Everyone who hurts me adds to my intelligence
Just what to keep silent and say
Continue to be preoccupied, there is no reward for this diligence

No one understands why I snap at them
When there is only one worry on my mind
Everyday centered around one objective, nothing else matters
When the focus is complete, another day is wasted in return for the next

Return me to a time when I never knew your name
This is existence of harsh opprobrium
There is too much I hold dear, too much I intend to fear
The container buckles and bends because I hold it all inside

I’ve played this game before, too many times I have lost
I remember when I thought life was like a watch
That ticked relentlessly into the future
Where my fate was already written
I’ve listened to all the theories
I’ve been burned just watching the light shine off
your face
Glory to the end, grant hold to the young and dumb
All everything gone out of hand, I want to reissue
But I cannot learn, no matter what I want, I return
Sever my skin and reopen the wound a week later
Just to remind myself of what to remember
About the past and how it influenced the future

I give it away
Generous offerings that heal
Save there are no wounds anyone wants cured
Anymore

I know the scars, I’ve seen them in your soul
I know why you keep your secrets so secret they seep between your fingers
I know why life is a cold, uncaring creature
And love, our only source of heat, can be the chill that freezes your hope
Relinquishes your trust
I know why you are afraid
I know why there is no sign of hope from atop the lighthouse
The water is choppy, the boat capsizes
And a hundred screaming men are swallowed in their icy death

Frozen shade, haunting me
No face save my own
Juxtaposition of opposites in an identical land
So that faults are bruises, and bruises are perfect

Know this: I keep the land and stir the grass
Trying to make sense of the world, how simplistic the most complex emotion is
Why I never receive payment for my sacrifice
Why I write to relieve my blood of its poison
So I believe you are my remedy, why I write to relieve my blood of its poison, so I believe you are my remedy, why I write to relieve my blood of its poison, so I believe you are my remedy
Stick it into my skin, try to swallow

Examining every glance, listening to every word ten times, trying to find the hidden message
Not reading between the lines, instead making the false truth that doesn’t exist
But I am paranoid by what I cannot hear in your thoughts
Is what you say reality, or do you think one way and speak in green tongues?
Everlasting emotion, should I be afraid of you?
Am I reading you wrong, or do you fear me?
Am I really that gone, really that paranoid?
I just try to make you mine, but are you even interested?

Left to be an exterior of unimaginable callousness
What lives beneath the skin a creature of unimaginable distress
Is it what I say, or does even this writing turn you away?
What do you think this very instant, your very instantaneous thought now?
Am I writing myself into my own Hell? Do you feel the same as me
To be the one to read this, understand it, and appreciate what I say?

Nothing is ever the same after the question
Reality flux, turn the world upside down, and just how uncomfortable does it make you feel?

Pull the plug, throw the hand grenade at the white juggler
Flinging flaming heads in the air, but he could never decapitate them
Because all he is is a bad influence added to the world

Never making sense, not a word that I speak
And inverse the word order
Jump off the tallest bridge, and I’ll live twice
To go back and jump again

How many people talk to me in my head
Which is my true alias?
Do you know? Do you know me?
Who the hell am I, and where can I find him?

Endless query of questions, and you are tired of listening
Tired of watching me be someone else
And myself I don’t know is enough to bring you my way
Unbound, unwound, keep the promise?
Just afraid of my sex because we’ve wronged you before
Unjustifiable claims of passion and trust
That are rarely kept and often forgotten
What promise do I offer?
The same I’ve always offered and never broken

Nobody’s real, just harsh twins of our ownselves
Why do the words sound so much more right in my head
Than aloud? I must return to a time when everybody’s real
Keep the silence, it does you well
I’ve been captivated
But I don’t think that’s enough to captivate you