I wrote a partial entry yesterday, but then deleted it, and I'm glad I did because quite a bit has happened since then.
Yesterday was pretty mellow, Bronson came over and we drew together. It was good because it gave the the motivation needed to work on my Norah Jones picture, and I'm quite a bit further on it now than before. Melissa then came over and told me to dress up (really dress up) and the three of us decided to have a night on the town in East Lansing. I wore my prom dress from my junior year of high school. Its important to mention that the St. Johns High School homecoming dance was last night, but we had no intention of going. We just decided to take advantage of the fact that we could use that as an excuse if anyone were to ask why we were so elaborately dressed.
As the night went on, we decided that maybe it would be fun to make an appearance at the dance. Of course, formal dances are really fucking weird when you've graduated two years ago and you know maybe 5 people there. But it ended up being good times because I was reaquainted with some younger people that I used to be good friends with, but there was a falling out somewhere. Overall, it was a lovely experience talking and dancing with them again. Its weird how you can miss people and not even know that you miss them until you see them. Does that make sense? I decided ahead of time not to act out any sexual frustrations upon high school boys, ha ha. I blushed when he asked if I had a boyfriend, but thats it. I don't know if I want a boyfriend now, exactly, but I'd love to go on a date.
Today I went inside a helicopter. I love helicopters like none other. This particular one was a $10,000,000 coast guard helicopter. Frickin amazing. Went in some fire trucks too. I'm such a little kid, but I love that stuff. I can't wait to go on another helicopter ride, but I don't know when that will happen.
I keep having these realistic dreams about things that I'm actually thinking about. It pretty much sucks because its like I'm awake and acting out my normal routine, there's no fantasy to it. Boring boring boring. But you know what I realized this week? Throughout high school and stuff, I always wanted to be someone else. One such person: Beth Snook. But, I discovered this week that, if given the choice, I would rather be myself than her. I don't know why it suddenly changed. We're nothing alike, she's cuter and more well liked, but its pretty much because she is, in general, a much better person than me. She's helpful, kind, optimistic, and I'm not. If I were all those things, maybe I would be well liked too. But anyways, I chose not to be. I think I'd rather not extend the effort, and just be myself. Maybe its not great to be well liked. How would I know? I still think she's cuter than me though, but I know I'd rather not be cuter. I guess this isn't a big deal, but it felt like a major revelation to me.
I missed Sha Sha's baptism today! The church down the street was doing animal blessings today, so for the past couple days I've been chasing her around the house saying, "Chatchka, wanna get baptised?? Raksha, YOU WANNA BE BAPTISED?!" She would just run away, but I know she secretely wanted it. Maybe I can set up a special appointment to have it done. Haha...
Listening to: "Woman Like a Man" - Damien Rice
