I guess I don't have much to write. I have ALOT going on in my head, but I don't think words actually exist for most of my thoughts. Ever feel like that? I'm thinking of making up a new language. I think I'll need some help.
Is it wrong to pretend someone is dead? Today, Annie was taking note that she had never known anyone who had died before, so we decided to pretend Jessica was dead for a little bit. Not to be mean, just to see what it felt like. I didn't really feel anything different, I guess I can't really picture her being dead right now, when I know that she is coming home eventually. There are others who have been gone for awhile, and I've also tried to picture them as dead, for different reasons. To clarify my mind. It didn't help. I'm glad everyone is alive, even if I haven't had much contact with anyone. Its good to know you are all happy wherever you currently exist.Existing, just being, is such a weird concept. Do you ever think about it? Isn't it strange to think that somewhere in the US, Seth Green is actually doing something, right now? He might be eating, or sleeping, or making out, or even filming. Rivers Cuomo is alive somewhere too. Right now, this very second, he is thinking something, or if asleep, dreaming something. These people are actual human beings, who really exist, and have real lifes that are constantly continuing. Celebrities have almost become fictional characters to me. It's so strange to think that each of them actually has a mind like mine that prolly never shuts up. You know, Britney Spears might be reading right now. They are all alive. How weird....
My question for you: Do you think its okay to lie to someone just to shelter their feelings? I don't know where I stand with this one. I'm usually okay with people being mean to me behind my back, as long as I don't know about it, how could it hurt me? If I'm happier when someone tells me something, even if its not the truth, isn't the happiness all that matters? I don't know anymore, because I suspect that I'm being lied to, and even though I'm really scared of the truth, I think I'd like to know what this person has been saying/thinking about me. I've been in this situation before, and it rarely ends good. Answer the question if you please, I like the emails.
