Um...I got a new kitten for those who didn't know, her name is Sha Sha. Here:

So every once in awhile, I like to go back in time and refresh my memory on what incidents occured in my past and how I felt about them. My main source of past knowledge is a journal that I kept for about 5 years on the family computers. It was different than my other journals, as in, it was (and is!) my only private one. Currently, I only use this journal and my livejournal, but in the past, I had up to 5 going at once. My handwritten journals were usually kept in school notebooks, with the expectation that others would read them (and I often let them), so they were not detailed, nor did they contain and thoughts/feeling. My private journal was not even referred to as a journal, I called it Confession (you can find it on the G4 and the power mac we used before it, but its password so family member can read it! :p). The password is more embarrasing than the journal...But anyways, Confession was sweet because it was so different and I could write in sentences that didn't make sense to other people because I was the only one who'd see it. I had sentences like, HM 2: Brit ugly V, though, no? Perhaps someday I'll edit it and publish it as a memoir down the road.

My favourite journals were always my camp journals because I always forget what I wrote in them, so its always entertaining to read them again. I intend to type them up on the computer someday (possibly upload them on this site) because the pencil I wrote them in is fading to the point in which I can barely make out the words anymore. Which reminds me, I had another dream about Grace last night. Sometimes my mind seems so fucked up, I don't understand why I dream what I dream.

I met this guy today. I was not meant to be an illustrator, but I think that if I choose to keep trying with it, I can become successful. I was meant to be a fine artist, but I will never try that. I was not meant to be an anthropologist, and I doubt I'd succeed, but I would like to try. Hey, if Cousin Timmy can do it, I can too!

I need paper. I need money. I need food. I really don't have the time for a job, but I could possibly sacrifice the quality of my homework to get one. Which would my parents prefer I do? Probably get a job. I might just apply to the jewelry stores downtown. I like jewelry, I know about it, hopefully the employees would be cool. I'll hold off on a job for now.

I'm so worried about next year. I'm quite worried about this summer as well, but next year bugs me more. What the hell am I going to do? I'm not willing to give up anything, I just want to be able to do a million things at once. School should not cost thousands of dollars. I need this first year to figure things out! I feel guilty even considering "figuring things out" when I'm spending $1500 a class. The logical decision? Take a semester off. I JUST TOOK A SEMESTER OFF! It led me nowhere. It didn't make choosing a school any easier. I'll just let my parents choose my next course of action.

Also, I love Jeff. He makes my life great.