Drawing, itself, doesn't put me in a good mood, make me feel better about myself, or really effect my disposition at all. Finishing a drawing, however, brightens up my outlook on life and everything. My cat may have just died, and my boyfriend may have given up on our relationship, but I finished a drawing. It feels fantastic. Especially if its a drawing I'm proud of. I'm really happy with my new Tobey Maguire picture. I've always wanted to draw more guys, and this was a nice start. I get pissed off when I think about my Elliott Smith drawing, though. Its not turning out how I want it at all. Despite what my dad may think, its not because my subject is unattractive. Its because my reference picture is too small and lacking details.

I thought yesterday would be hard for me because the 4th of July was when Jeff and I first said "I love you" (which I always thought was a stupid thing to make a big deal out of anyway), so it was kind of a mini-anniversary. It wasn't hard though, I barely thought about him. I was concentrating too hard on my drawing the whole day, and we did fireworks at night, which were pathetic but fun. Tonight's the city fireworks, but I doubt I'll go. My parents are out of town for the next few days, my only mode of transportation is my shiny new bike. I don't know who I'd go to the fireworks with... Hmm...

I've been rockin' out to good music lately. Arabic music, Turkish pop, etc, is awesome for dancing around the house. I quit running since I quit eating, but I think I'll start riding my bike, since I have one now. Other good music for rockin' out? Uh... LOTS of the Magnetic Fields, Frou Frou, Sondre Lerche. Good stuff like that.

Tomorrow is the first day I'm going to actually talk to Jeff since the day he arrived on the island (almost 2 months ago?). I don't really have anything to say to him. What could I say? Its pointless, really. I wanted him to call because its stupid to end a serious relationship with only a letter and an email, but a phone call won't help either. At this point, the way this relationship ended will seem stupid to me no matter what. But I am excited to move on! I only ever wanted to be single so I could see other people (not that I ever really wanted that, I'd rather have Jeff), whats stopping me now? If I do start seeing a guy, I hope he'll realize that I'm only using him to get over Jeff.