I've sorta been blocking the future from my mind, and I've been living day by day, and its been great. But today, something slipped, and I realized that Jeff will be here for 2 more days, and I need to start applying to schools/jobs, and the future is coming way too fast. Everything came so suddenly, and I felt (feel) sick. Dammit! I wish I was in that Groundhog's Day movie, where I could just stay in today, over and over again. That would be superb. Instead, I wait until November to see Jeff. Actually, til tomorrow, but after the next couple days, I have the big wait til November.
And I get depressed for other reasons regarding the fall. I am completely satisfied with my/my parents' decision to wait for January to start school. I have no problems with working for a semester, its just other people seem to have problems with it. Either they think that I'll never go to school, and have no faith in my ability to carry out any plans, or they pity me for not being able to go to school. Both suck. It sucks talking about school all together, but I;m at the age in which all small talk begins with "Where are you going to school?" or "What are you doing in the fall?" I tell them I'm not going to school in the fall, they respond with a quiet "Oh...", then it gets awkward and they look away. Fuck that. I'm okay with waiting, its not like I'm gonna stay in St. Johns for 10 years, its a couple months. So anyways, if you don't want to piss me off, don't bring up the subject of school with me. It really upsets me.
Jeeeeeesus. I would like to perk up a bit, but I'm not sure how. Kool Aid would help, but I don't own any. I joined this pretty pointless website today. It was a waste of time, but I wasn't sure what it was at first. It turned out to be stupid, so I guess I'm warning you against it. Do I look sick to you?
Tomorrow the show about Nefertiti is on. I advise everyone to watch the Discovery channel, she's a really fascinating lady, and one of my top 3 favourite queens of Egypt. Check it, yo.
Listening To: Atom and his Package
