Sometimes, I'm not quite sure whether I want time to slow down or speed up. My immediate thought is "I hate school, I want summer to last forever." In all actuality, I don't. I mean, I do hate school, but what do I have to make me appreciate summer? The only thing thats better here is the whole sleeping in thing. What I relly want is for it to be NEXT summer, in which case time should go fast. But its not gonna. Not when I want it to, at least.

Last night I went for a walk with Ryan and Xtina. We talked, gossiped mainly. "Did you know (blank) was gay?" "No, did you know that (blank #2) isn't a virgin?" "Get out!" Kinda pathetic, really. I felt like such a middle schooler or something, but it was fun. I learned alot, that is, assuming its all true.

So Ryan really wants me to hang out with his friends this year (Dan, Devin, Corban, etc.). I doubt that would work out, seeing as how my mother hates them. I would be so much better off with a robot. Robots make the perfect friends, they don't complain or bother you to much, plus they can take out the trash. Yeah, I would really like a robot right about now.

I have ALOT on my mind today, like twice as much as usual. It seems as though I have pressing issues that I have to discuss with like every person I know. The problem is, that because of these, I have pretty much avoided contact with most people. Its so hard!

Does anyone sorta understand what I'm talking about? Its difficult to bring certain things up while talking, because every conversation that I've had with anyone lately has been so predictable and basically, pointless. It's amazing how terrible my use of words has become, its like I can no longer express any of my thoughts or feelings through them. This is all probably nonsense to those reading it, but, sometimes it feels good to type. I'm just not ready to start a new life, there's gotta be some way to hang on to the past.

Listening to: "I'm the one" - Descendents