Um... I'd say I've been in a surprisingly good mood, as of late. Although, my rage comes in waves, and it comes hard. I'm really pissed off about this awkward, uncomfortable, HORRIBLE situation that I have been forced into with a person that I despise. And he won't leave me alone. And I'm afraid of him. I think thats my worst problem right now, and it isn't that terrible a problem (as in, I have the power to avoid it if I try). Other problems: stress with school approaching to fast. I'm a little disappointed that I have only 1 class in Lansing, and at the same time I'm terrified of having to drive to that class. I don't want to run into a bunch of forgotten memories from high school when I start class either. That was one of the worst parts about my psychology class. I didn't like seeing Rachel every day. I like her, we used to be friends and we're still friendly, but now she seems to represent everything that I want to be but never will be. She's kind, funny, and she has a quality (that I haven't yet defined) that makes every person that comes in contact with her fall in love. Not only do I not have those qualities, but I am the opposite. If I'm this uncomfortable around someone that I used to be friends with, just think of what it will be like this fall when I'm surrounded by former classmates! Yuck.
I miss Kendall and art classes so much lately. I feel stupid for not staying. But my mind likes to fuck with me, I'd be just as miserable if I stayed. I think I'm going to die young, but I'm living so slowly. I'll probably be in school for like 1586148 years, but I'll die in 5. ? I don't get it either. It's late, my head hurts. Stick to your values! Your morals and values define you! Don't disappoint them anymore!Who the fuck visits this page? How come I get like 15 hits a day, but no one signs the guestbook or emails me? Sigh sigh sigh. I don't swear in person. I don't complain in person.
Jessica Simpson says that she pretends to be dumb because it always helped her attract guys. I think I believe her. I always pretend to be selfish (I'm sure you've noticed) and I pretend to be lazy. Not to get guys, but.... I don't know, there's something different about the way people treat me when I act like that.. Like it always makes them more comfortable, and they think its funny. Its just like how I used to act really hungry all the time. I never really was, but when someone expected me to say something for whatever reason, I'd just say, "I'm hungry." It was just a reaction. Its true though... guys always treat me nice when I act helpless. When I act normally, they don't see me at all. What would you do?
I always get the weirdest obsessions. He's my current one. You can't tell, but he talks and his voice is so deep, and serious. Then he'll pause, and smile, and afkgad;lfkgj that smile!! I think I've seen someone smile like that before, but I don't know who or when. Its just the most adorable smile in the world, and combined with the personality and the voice, and he's a great singer too. With an art degree. Crazy. His eyes do that thing that Jeff's do when he smiles, they get all scrunched up like anime characters. The good thing about Seth is that I've met so many guy that look like him in real life, that I don't doubt I will meet another one some day. Never met anyone with the voice though.
This headache is too much. I get to see Janet tomorrow. My portrait of Alicia Keys was one of the top 3 most popular portraits on deviantart this past week.
