Would you believe that this September is my first ever successful "Rabbit Rabbit" month? A long time ago, like when I was a little kid, I heard that the first words that come out of your mouth on the first day of a new month should be "rabbit rabbit", and you'll have good luck for the rest of the month. I think its some old Chinese tradition or something. And since it is currently 12:04 am on the first day of September, and I just whispered "Rabbit, rabbit," I think I'm off to a good start. Now, would you believe that I have to leave at 6:30 am for a class that doesn't start until 10:10? Thats bullshit! Cept its true. I won't get into talking about it, because it pisses me off.
So whats happening, you ask? Overall, I'm in a much better mood. When Jeff was away, I turned him into something he was not. He came home and talked to me. True to my prediction, he saved only a tiny portion of time for me on his last day in town, so if I happened to be busy during that time (which I was, but cancelled plans), I wouldn't be able to talk to him at all. That was fine, since I expected it, though. Anyway, I was searching for something in him that had changed at all, for him to be different somehow, but he wasn't in the least. He was the exact same Jeff I had gotten to know so well these past couple years. After painful small talk (you know I hate it, why insist upon it?), we had more direct conversation. I said things that I probably shouldn't have, because I wasn't actually feeling them, but I was saying what I had planned to earlier. I told him that I was upset, but at the same time, just so happy to see him. I really wasn't either. Maybe I would've been more excited to see him if I knew happy cuddling and conversation were on their way, but there was no chance of that, so whats the point in looking forward to his arrival?
Anyhow, the whole ordeal put me in such a great mindset, knowing that I actually don't feel the way that I thought I did, and being with him now is not what I want. If thats not what I want, then I have what I want, right? Good, good. Personally, I think long distance relationships can work, if both people are truly devoted. If there is any weakness in the relationship, though, it will be blown up and exaggerated. So school started last week, I'm loving it! I'm different than I used to be, I talk to people and I'm not "the quiet one". LCC is a much bigger campus than I'm used too, and much more diverse. My classes are great, I really like all of my teachers and all of the subjects. I still fell like its just a warm up for GVSU, where I'll be really forced to talk to other people, since I'll be living with them.I really like my anthropology teacher now. Is it because she's living my dream, has had so many awesome experiences (my kind of awesome, mind you), or because her last name is Hassoun? It only helps that she gives Darwin the respect he deserves, and works to correct all the myths about him. That is quite the plus! She likes my art too. I think I'm the only one who laughed when she said, "I don't carry a whip and where a fedora to work.. Oh, wait," and she as wearing a fedora. I'm a nerd. I like all of my teachers a lot though. My ASL teachers are so funny together. Prof. Duckwall was like, Don't confuse the signs for "d" and "f", especially when spelling my last name. funny teachers are awesome. Funny guys, though... I don't know. If I'm with a group of people and a guy makes a joke or something, I generally think of it as a turn off. I don't know why exactly. If I'm with a group, and a guy talks about his own personal philosophies on life and purpose, I'd call that a turn on!
I went out the other night with Ryan, Patrick, Greg, Corban, Jake, Dan, Isaac, Cameron, and Bronson. It was fun, even though they were being paranoid about being at the Wheel since Patrick beat up Bobby Marinez there. They were also paranoid when we were talking loudly outside and the neighbors might have been upset. Much different than my paranoia! When they walked me home, Ryan brought up the possibility of me meeting a guy at LCC. Entirely possible, I've met so many people already. But I'd rather fast forward to when I can have a real grown up relationship, you know? I don't care for this "impossible-to-be-serious-cuz-we're-only-college-kids" phase. I want to move past that, and maybe the only way is to date someone who's not in college. I hate the idea of dating someone without the possibility of a serious relationship because it seems so... pointless. Sure, it can be fun, but when you know that you're just going to break up in a matter of time, well, I can't really handle that. Its like being rejected before you're ever really accepted.Currently on my mind: I lost my Flaming Lips DVD. I saw Sondre Lerche on tv today!!! I'm scared about the outcome of the election in November, and I find it hard to believe that so many people still don't care about the current issues and just how much is at stake this time (Please vote Kerry!). I don't want to get up in 5.5 hours.
