Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. I have so much shit going on in my head and I don't really know what I can do about any of it. And I want my purse!!!

I know that I am known for ditching my friends alot. There are a few people that I've always been friends with and will most likely always be friends with, but I've been a bitch to the rest of them. Sometimes I wish I could just stay friends with the same people for eternity, but the truth is that I woud never be able to handle it.

The real truth is that I want everything to stay like it is right now, but I know that this isn't gonna last very much longer at all. I'm actually pretty happy with my life right now (that's the effexor talking) but I know that I'm going to go through even more drastic changes because I always do. When I look back on my life, I see a million different lives. My world is everchanging, I was never satisfyed so I would change both consiously and unconsiously. And when I finally am satisfyed, I know that I won't be able to stop my world from changing, even though I desperatly want to stop it.

Another sad thing is that, even though I'm okay with drifting apart from my friends, it hurts me to realize that they feel the same way. It's happened so much, you think I would learn to quit taking it personally. It is personal....

Wow, the days are going by way too fast. I've begun to notice that it gets darker much earlier than it used to. Everyone is leaving me, and my best friend is moving across the world. I am going to hate this year, unless I can find something to make me happy, but the odds of that working out for me are....slim.....like me....

I kinda wrote alot more than usual today, and its still early-ish. Jeff's watch is really loud right now and it smells like him, but thats a good thing. :) I feel bad about taking it though.

listening to: Saves the Day- "I'm Sorry I'm Leaving" (one of my favorite songs)